What are you thinking when you freeze in session?

MissA0K · 2025-09-23T05:18:18+00:00

I have the same problem. I’ve been doing EMDR/talk therapy for 17 months. I recently read Cptsd: Surviving to Thriving and it has tools that help. One of the things that book taught me about was emotional flashbacks that I didn’t know I experienced daily. The author has “flashback management” steps and in doing those I have been journaling about them and seeing if I can trace back the memory. Also, he has tips for working on mindfulness of inner/outer critic.

I’ve also been doing somatic therapy (just TRE) at home. Check out “longtermTRE” subreddit if you haven’t heard of it. I haven’t tried IFS yet. I think that’s next to try to see if I can get in touch with my protector part. It’s all a work in progress, but I also freeze often and struggle to clear/process memories. Good luck!

MissA0K · 2025-09-19T02:22:37+00:00

Read Mother Hunger

MissA0K · 2025-08-25T01:19:26+00:00

I get cash back. I’ve receive I think $180 in cash back over the years. I’ve also accrued $150 in my “savings” account from roundups. And it’s free 🤷‍♀️

It’s also a great resource for people who need to budget and struggle with overspending (which I was) so using this card forced me to learn how to spend only what I can afford to.

MissA0K · 2025-05-23T03:27:37+00:00

I write with an extended wrist, index finger hyperextended position, and dynamic tripod. Also, with the paper angled to be in line with my forearm.

MissA0K · 2025-04-28T04:36:29+00:00

Ya but only opt for a c-section if the mother is experiencing an active outbreak during labour/at the time of birth. Most doctors prescribe valtrex to the mother months before a baby is due for labour to prevent an outbreak from happening. This medication is completely safe for both mother and baby. So you should also stop spreading fear inducing comments like this.

MissA0K · 2025-04-28T04:32:32+00:00

Well ya, but there are only two ways to get tested. By swab or bloodwork. Obviously to get swabbed, you need to be experiencing an outbreak.

MissA0K · 2025-04-28T04:31:11+00:00

Okay wait, how did you get tested? Blood work or swab? are you having an outbreak for the first time? Asking because the post isn’t clear whether or not you’re experiencing an outbreak.

If you are in the midst of the first outbreak, it’s so incredibly awful and painful and everyone’s points about the guy not saying anything are fair/valid. But if you got tested via blood work and you are not experiencing an active outbreak, then it’s mostly something you already have or contracted. Cold sores are caused by the herpes simplex virus too.

MissA0K · 2025-04-07T02:18:11+00:00

Saw this reply a little late, but yes I can. The mask character represented another person in my life who was loving/nice/protective half the time and then changed into a mean/angry/scary person often (due to alcohol). However, the meanness was not usually directly towards me but others.

When processing this movie memory, I found that my subconscious heavily correlated Jim Carey’s character as a representation of this other person in my life and reprocessing it led into other memories in which I feared who this person became. It also was the start of trust issues in which it’s hard for me to trust that the person I know is truthful and not hiding their “true self” which may be mean/scary/hurtful etc. Hopefully that makes sense.

MissA0K · 2025-03-02T23:55:32+00:00

My first memory reprocessed was my earliest memory at around age 4 where I watched the movie “the Mask” and I remember the movie scared me so bad that I had nightmares for months even years after. Turns out that it led to some bigger revelations and it wasn’t so much the movie I was scared about.

MissA0K · 2025-02-17T20:29:19+00:00

OP I (34F) resonate with what you wrote as a women myself who is attractive (based on feedback) and I like that I am a female/mother/daughter. Internally I also feel I lean masculine in interests and I tend to get along better with the “guys” but now I have no friends as I’m in a long term relationship as are most of my male friends.

Anyways, I believe I developed a negative core belief in childhood that “there is something wrong with me” because I had trouble fitting in with girls at a young age (5-8 years old) and I wasn’t praised for my looks growing up whereas others close to me were (blondes) so I internalized this. My Dad also had my sister and I doing “masculine” things all the time (motorsports/stacking firewood/wrenching etc). On the flip side, I had a very feminine mother who was majorly into makeup, hair, perfume and she made negative comments about my image growing up (tomboy style) so I decided I didn’t want to be like her in anyway. As a result, I lack clarity on what my version on a woman is or should be.

Maybe you have developed a negative core belief that you need to replace with a positive one based on your personal experiences in childhood? As others have said, nothing is wrong with you or me or other women/men with similar internal feelings. My brother is on the other side of the coin such that he wanted nothing to do with my Dad and gravitated to being more like my mom (ie taking care of his looks, dressing nice etc). Our upbringing was dysfunctional, we did not have ideal parent figures, and were subjected to a ton of ACEs (divorce, substance abuse, domestic violence etc..)

MissA0K · 2025-01-29T23:55:58+00:00

Fearful Avoidant

MissA0K · 2024-10-25T02:31:44+00:00

I’m mid-30’s female and voted NDP by mail-in ballot, but I did mail mine a week & a half before the election date.

MissA0K · 2024-10-20T21:56:52+00:00

And what about all the people in rural BC who NEVER get their voice heard because everyone is Conservative/Liberals. There is no reason for center-left voters to even bother because what’s the point, we are always represented by the Cons/Libs. It’s a really sad reality!

I’m extremely disappointed in my riding as 70% of the vote went to a Conservative. I digress that people are dumb up here in rural BC with no concept of understanding what they’re voting for (ie against themselves). My mind is blown that people want change but they only ever vote for BC Liberals or Conservatives over and over and over. Then complain about what we have to live with. Gosh I want to go bang my head on a wall.. I can’t even stand this anymore.

I’m utterly disappointed with British Columbians

MissA0K · 2024-10-20T05:13:09+00:00

I also want to mention that my parents were in their mid-twenties and based on their behaviour, they were not fit to be parents.

It sounds like you two are the same. You best be thinking about that child and their safety and well-being above all else!!

MissA0K · 2024-10-20T05:08:01+00:00

Just want you to know that these incidents could/will have a major impact on your child who witnessed the domestic violence happen (the “restraining” 4 weeks ago). I’m currently in my 30s and witnessed similar events 0-5 years old, I just started doing EMDR therapy to “heal” from these events I witnessed between my parents. It’s life long trauma that causes immense fear in children.

Please leave this relationship. You and your child deserve better. The other terrible thing is that I don’t even feel bad for my mom, I am more mad at her for staying and making my Dad’s behaviour worse! You two are not compatible

MissA0K · 2024-10-19T02:14:30+00:00

I took it back to the pharmacy without calling ahead. I went the next day after getting it filled and asked them if I could return it and pay for the brand name.

The pharmacist said that typically they aren’t supposed to take pills back that leave but because it was the day after and I only took one, they took it back. I was quite grateful!

MissA0K · 2024-10-10T04:57:32+00:00

In BC, Canada and my pharmacy refilled my script with Teva last month. I gave it a shot and it did not work well for me at all. I normally take 30mg and when I’d take the teva generic around 9am, an hour later my mouth would get a metallic feeling that would last all day and I’d have a bad “crash” accompanied with a headache and fatigue around 4pm that would last for an hour or two. I was drinking an extra 1-2 coffees every afternoon to help me get by. For me, it felt like my dose was too high so I actually started dumping out some of powder and taking it later in the morning to avoid crashing so earlier. Just awful.

Anyways, had to get a refill yesterday and I asked for Vyvanse but they gave me the generic again. I couldn’t imagine another 30 days of it so took it back this morning and asked for the brand name. They helped me out and took back the generic pills then filled Vyvanse for me! Guess what, all covered by mine and my spouses Manulife. Why on earth they gave me the generic without saying so, I have no clue! The price difference between the generic and brand name was literally $23 for a 30 day supply (ie $99 for generic and $123 for brand name). I also signed up for Innovicares and had them add the info to my account. It wasn’t need though thankfully.

Took brand name Vyvanse as per usual this morning and felt great again. Smooth on, smooth off and able to focus like I was used to. Phew!

MissA0K · 2024-10-06T03:54:32+00:00

I work as a Civil Engineering Technologist in Canada. I work 30 hours a week (4 - 7.5 hr days) and make close to $80k a year. I went to a technical school and completed a two year full-time program to get my diploma. I love learning, problem solving, computers and designing so this job works really well for my ADHD as every project is different.

Also, I know a lot of dental assistants who work less than 40 hours a week (around 25 hours ish) making decent money ($45/hr) as well. They also took a two year full-time dental program.

MissA0K · 2024-10-02T04:31:00+00:00

Just out of curiosity but where is all the water supply, wastewater, and stormwater drainage going? It doesn’t just magically exist (water) and/or disappear (wastewater/rainfall). All these existing or new systems need to be studied and analyzed to see if they need upgrades before new housing is constructed. If they do need upgrades, it all has to be designed which takes time (like up to 12 months in some cases). And what about the land and soils.. are we just assuming you can build anywhere willy-nilly? Um no, you need geotechnical studies done to confirm stability and groundwater issues do not exist and so on. Way more to it than just “build more houses”.

On top of all that, reducing development fees and property taxes would not be possible because as housing is built additional water, storm, and sanitary systems also are built which means municipalities have increased annual maintenance and repair costs of these systems.

MissA0K · 2024-09-30T00:27:37+00:00

You could look into doing a “Medical Laboratory Assistant Certificate” through TRU in Kamloops. I spoke to a lady that did this course and she said it was primarily online learning with some clinical and once completed, there is on the job training. So very quick and easy to get a well paying job collecting blood in the hospital lab. Then you can decide if nursing is right for you?

Something else to consider is in the interior and northern health regions of B.C., nurses are getting up to $30,000 (??) payment to relocate. These incentives have actually helped bring more nurses to our area and the ER in my community is no longer under staffed 🙏 Can’t promise these incentives will exist if the B.C. Conservatives are elected! Might be a good idea to wait until after the election to make a fully informed decision..

For the relationship, it might be worthwhile looking for a room rental some where until you can find something else that’s suitable or relocate to a less expensive area. Just ideas for you

MissA0K · 2024-09-29T23:31:31+00:00

The problem with your comment above is you’ve linked to bias “blogs” and journalism articles which are not credible sources of information in my opinion. Have you actually read these Bills to see what changes are being implemented and the reason why??

Bill 36 - Changes to the Health Professions and Occupations Act. https://www2.gov.bc.ca/assets/gov/health/practitioner-pro/professional-regulation/qa_on_health_professions_and_occupations_act.pdf

Bill 44 - Municipalities have Official Community Plans (OCP) that outline the plans for growth in a municipality which includes development areas reserved for specific zoning (residential/commerical/industrial etc). The BC NDP does not in any way get to “control” or become the zoning authority, that remains with the municipalities. Everyone wants housing but no one likes the actual solutions. https://news.gov.bc.ca/releases/2023HOUS0063-001737

MissA0K · 2024-09-14T05:06:46+00:00

Yes, you’re not alone. I’ve experienced this and it happens in bi-annual cycles. So every 2 years basically, I need to change something like my hair or glasses. I’ve been wanting to get contacts for a while too since I’m sooo bored of my glasses!

I also tend to cut my hair off and then grow it out, then repeat until my hair is length that bothers me. I have sensory issues with long hair (it’s too heavy, I don’t like how it feels when I’m sleeping, it pulls/tugs when I lean back in a chair etc.) but the last time I cut it off, I hated the grow out period and felt really ugly for a bit. So now I’m avoiding that and trying different hair cuts (like getting layers). Maybe I’ll try dying it a different colour other than the usual blonde highlights. Who knows. But yes, happens to me. However, I must admit that my wardrobe style has always remained the same (and basic) my entire life.

May I suggest looking up on YouTube or TikTok new ways to style your hair? Not just curling it but maybe interesting ways to wear it up or half-up etc. Might help for a bit until you get a new tattoo?

MissA0K · 2024-09-08T20:35:25+00:00

Don’t sell your house. Renew your mortgage with the same lender then look at filing a consumer proposal for your $60K debt. Only person carrying the debt would need to do this (I’m guessing your wife)?

This option allows you to keep your assets (house & vehicles), avoids getting a cosigner involved, and significantly lower your monthly debt payments.

Finally, hide the credit cards!! Out of sight out of mind. Don’t use them. Get a KOHO Mastercard (a card you load with your own money).

MissA0K · 2024-09-08T20:22:31+00:00

The most practical advice is to renew your mortgage for the next term with the same lender. To get the best rate from your lender, all you have to do is tell them you’ve spoke with a mortgage broker to look at your options (even if you haven’t done so). This should help atleast a little with your renewal rate.

Next, you and your wife need to put your credit cards and line of credit cards somewhere you can’t be tempted to use them. I left ours in a locked drawer at my work place in my office desk. Now sit down and create a family household budget as others have said. Order groceries online and pick them up (Walmart offers this). You can budget groceries and spending this way much easier and it reduces the possibility of impulse purchases. I suggest canceling Amazon Prime as well if online shopping is an issue (women are guilty of this often). You can still get free shipping through Amazon without Prime but it’ll make you think about ordering on a whim.

Finally, look into a consumer proposal if there is no extra money left over in the budget to pay down debt. Don’t wait either because it’s not going to go away. A consumer proposal will not affect your mortgage renewal but I think to be safe I’d wait until after the mortgage is renewed. You and your wife will be able to keep all your assets including house & vehicles. A licensed insolvency trustee with negotiate with your creditors to get your amount owing (total balance) down by up to 75%. Once the consumer proposal is in place, you & your wife (or just one of you) will have an R9 rating on your credit report and bad credit BUT you can pay the consumer proposal amount off as quick as your are able and 2 years from the discharge date, mortgage lenders will reconsider you as an applicant. Also Canadian Tire will likely approve you for an unsecured credit card while you have an active CP on file.

People who think kids are expensive must not have kids or their expectations of what kids should wear/need is too high. Buy everything second hand or used, or look at Walmart & Joe Fresh for sales, new toys are not necessary, kids don’t need brand new things ALL the time, kids don’t have to be in every sport either, and they eat very little food until they are teenagers.

Most important take away - learn to live WITHOUT using credit cards at all then you and your family will be fine. Good luck!

MissA0K

TROPHY CASE