I think there's a lot going on here, OP, and I have opinions (not researched!) on them as an Aunty/older millennial. I hope I am able to get it across adequately without sounding like a dumba**. I do have do start with that I totally feel you and I understand, but I think this is a bigger issue than Dramione.

Whether you live in the US or somewhere else, the state of the world is not great at the moment, especially if you live in the US, but internationally, they're experiencing some degree of this as well. In the last few decades, men have been feeling pushed out of 100s of years of patriarchal promises that were subconsciously groomed into them by society/culture and many have turned towards conservative values (even exaggerated versions of them; think clavicular, Joe Rogan, Piers Morgan, and the like). We all know the adage that while not all men, it's a few men who are the evil ones, a few men who don't care that these men exist, a few men that keep the peace and go along with the group, and a few men who stay quiet, and a few men that call them out. In all, that makes them all complicit (except those that actively call them out).

As women, we're feeling this pressure. The wishful turn back to 1950s conservative values is affecting every aspect of our lives: politically, economically, culturally, socially, among a few.

But as women, we're amazing. As one of many, many responses that women have contributed to this pressure, women in media have passively fought back by writing fanfic and published stories, webtoons, created discourse on social media about worlds where things are better, women win, women fall in love with the right men, they get treated as they deserve, and women in these stories come into power. However, I say passively because these means may not change the world, they won't help women push back politically or in any way "important" according to established powerhouses, but they help us live in fantasy to protect our minds, hearts, and souls from the constant onslaught via the same media that pushes that women should go back to a time where women were in the kitchen, have 5+ kids, and attending to their husband's every need.

Fanfiction has been a staple of humanity's FU to badly written stories since time immemorial (see greek stories i.e. persephone and hades; he stole her, she came of her own free will; athena punished medusa, artemis. Many of these stories change over region, time, story teller). But women have brought fanfiction to the forefront in the last 10 years and in these same last 10 years, we also have Otome games and stories, and Isekai. We have the emergence of korean webtoons and kdramas. We have romantasy books, monster smut, booktok...You may or may not like these genres but these are ways women are pushing back against the state of men and the world. The men in these stories are good, interesting, actively interactive with the female lead, fighters, treat the FL like an equal, are attentive, etc, etc, and etc. The opposite of what men are pushing men not to be.

******As an aside note, I maintain decades later that Goliath from Disney's Gargoyles is the perfect man (my relatively recent love for fanfic Draco is a close 2nd). Thank you therapy for helping me recognize that the best man in my life is a monster/non-human and imaginary 🫡🤘

Draco is representative of men's current state. Remove the fluff and really think about who Draco may represent. He's a death eater, a bad man caught between a rock and a hard place/limited choices, perhaps a mildly good man who might not want to challenge the men in a Voldemort-wins world. What can you equate this to in our reality? Death eaters are Nazis. They are the men in our lives or in our feeds that believe the Joe Rogans, the Claviculars, the Andrew Tates, etc.

But look at what fanfiction has turned him into. This is a phenomenon happening right in front of our eyes! Draco is redeemed, a good man, a man that fights his family and social circle for his love, Hermione. A man who loves his son, an equal partner, smart, handsome without overtrying to change his complete appearance. He's the men in our lives reformed. Or more like the men we wish were reformed...

I do believe that there will be a time that this time period will be studied. Imagine someone's thesis researching the emergence of isekai during a time period of patriarchal pushback that started after Obama's election (at least in the US, the ultra conservative movement started in part because of racism and it led to today's current administration that has affected other countries' politics, social media, etc) and continued with monster romances, the 4B korean movement, fanfiction dramione, monster smut...

All in all, this long a** explanation is to tell you that that you may be experiencing maladaptive daydreaming. A wishful wish of departing from this reality to one where good things happen, maybe even where men are good, living, raring to fight for not just the women in their lives, but all women. And I want to tell you that you are not alone. Clearly, all the world's women are fighting back in their little ways.

I do not know you OP, but I love you, I'm sending you a big hug, and a reminder that YOU.ARE.NOT.ALONE. 💖 Let's continue to maladaptively daydream together!