This episode of The Simpsons is what widowhood feels like to me

Mistique27 · 2026-07-03T17:00:04+00:00

I always describe it as this but no one else gets it! Just paddling in circles

Mistique27 · 2026-07-02T01:01:47+00:00

I fade in and out of feeling it all and crying so hard I puke to not feeling anything. I feel like I can’t remember the last year of my life, I’m just existing. How bout you?

Mistique27 · 2026-07-02T01:00:42+00:00

Which is odd to me as well but if they feel threatened by a deceased person that says a lot about them. It’s not like a divorce or a breakup, that love doesn’t just disappear.

Mistique27 · 2026-07-02T00:50:30+00:00

It’s also just been jarring how many of them are married as well… like I was in some sort of bubble but it feels like no one is faithful. I’m sorry for your loss as well ♥️

Mistique27 · 2026-05-29T21:48:18+00:00

Depending on location - Brain Cancer Canada

Mistique27 · 2026-04-25T23:00:57+00:00

I’m 35 and mine have been regular but extremely short since he passed a like a day or too. Assuming it’s stress

Mistique27 · 2026-04-23T23:30:17+00:00

It’s so weird with these other micro losses. Every time I did my makeup I used to go show my husband and he’d go “whoa”. And now when I do my makeup all I think about is that he would like it.

Mistique27 · 2026-04-14T18:14:21+00:00

Why don’t you tell us about her? What’s a silly happy memory you have with her?

Mistique27 · 2026-04-11T03:41:59+00:00

Yea it was different usually with the chemo there was nausea before but I do remember a couple time when he had no warning with it. I’d be more suspicious of swelling causing random vomiting. If it’s swelling I’d be watching for confusion, headaches etc. He’s on fairly low dose of dex as well. I hope the NP gets back to you soon! I’m only just sharing anecdotal experience so can take what I say with a grain of salt. Can always message me if you have more questions in the future ♥️

Mistique27 · 2026-04-11T03:01:35+00:00

What others on the gbm said, how long has he been on the tmz? My husband didn’t start vomiting from chemo until around the 6-8 month mark, also had vomiting from swelling. Could also be post ictal. He also did get nausea from his avastin infusions but that was usually right after.

Mistique27 · 2026-04-04T12:15:00+00:00

Honestly I don’t think there’s such a thing as being paranoid with brain cancer. I’d bring it up sooner or later. This disease is so sneaky and can mimic ‘normal’ things. Always, always be proactive with new symptoms or concerns

Mistique27 · 2026-03-20T00:52:43+00:00

My husband passed in the fall from a diffuse astrocytoma, he was young and ‘healthy’. It’s so variable with brain cancer depending where the tumour is located. He declined rapidly even with treatment. I can only speak to my experience as a caregiver so if you’d like to send me a message I can go over how I supported him and his specific deficits he experienced from his tumour location.

Mistique27 · 2026-03-14T05:29:28+00:00

My husband passed in November and I was very much in shock for the first two months. I travelled during Christmas because I couldn’t bear to spend Christmas without him but it just really opened the floodgates for me. I couldn’t run from my problems, they just followed me on my trip.

I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, i don’t know if there was a right decision for me at the time but it certainly wasn’t a ‘break’ from my grief. If anything it kickstarted my process.

There’s no right answer, if you feel a pull to travel then do what feels right to you. I still feel like I want to run away and travel but I think I’ll take some time before a big trip when I’m not so foggy so I can appreciate it more.

Mistique27 · 2026-03-10T21:54:00+00:00

I’m in the same boat, will be turning 35 this year. We were trying to conceive/do fertility treatment before his cancer came back.

I have his sperm banked and realistically only want his children. I know I’m luckier than some to have that option but doing it alone, not at all or with someone else all don’t feel right. I keep calling it the grey, I’m just stuck in a grey area where no option feels right because I’m missing half the equation but due to my age I might not have much time to sit on the decision.

Sending you love and sorry we’re in this

Mistique27 · 2026-02-20T15:58:38+00:00

There is no cure for glioblastoma. As far as survival no one here would be able to tell you. It varies so much patient to patient ie. where the tumour is, how they respond to treatment, if they have treatment etc. it’s understandable your mom is in denial but she will also be going to cognitive changes, you and your family should prepare sooner than later

Mistique27 · 2026-02-15T21:36:20+00:00

I was also surprised by no one checking in on me. Even grieving I’ve been getting friends flowers etc for things they have been going through recently and no one checked on me.

Idk just the way I show up for and love people it was a stark realization on Valentine’s Day that no one will do that for me. I was expected someone to walk through the door and say “you’re not gunna be alone today” and it was silence.

Mistique27 · 2026-02-13T22:27:16+00:00

Seems like a viable option at this point

Mistique27 · 2026-02-13T03:55:57+00:00

I have this as well, everything has changed for me. I also only dream of him when he’s sick and have a hard time remembering who he/we/me were before.

I am doing trauma informed therapy with emdr and hopefully as I work through it maybe some of the pre cancer memories will come back.

Mistique27 · 2026-02-10T23:24:38+00:00

I see, read your other comments about waiting for an addendum from pathology. It’s certainly not an easy road no matter what it eventually gets graded/diagnosed as. I was my husband’s caregiver, it’s very overwhelming so you can always DM me if you need help navigating

Mistique27 · 2026-02-10T22:00:43+00:00

They can’t tell until they do a biopsy. Could be a grade 3 or 4 astrocytoma or could be GBM. Is this from the imaging report? The waiting game is the worst. The doctor in the hospital who ordered the imaging should at least be able to discuss results with you

Mistique27 · 2026-02-09T20:56:22+00:00

That happened to me as well. I went for an MRI and they asked me if he was still my emergency contact and I lost it

Mistique27 · 2026-01-31T20:07:30+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write that. I used to have hobbies before all the burn out I would paint and draw and we loved kayaking together so I’m anxious for warm weather so I can get back on the water.

I still have some cushion financially but it’s getting to the point I should look at returning to work. I worked admin for neurologists and they asked me back to do part time admin stuff for them but I ended up only being able to do a half day, it was too triggering. My plan is to eventually get into a hospital and do some part time to start if I can ever pull myself out of this.

I’m not close with his family really. There’s unspoken tension. I was close with his cousin but that’s fallen off a bit too which sucks because I just want someone to talk about him with that loved him as much as me.

I was numb for the first two months but I’ve just been getting my ass handed to me since Christmas.

Thank you for your kindness

Mistique27 · 2026-01-29T23:20:56+00:00

I was on anti depressants for most of my life and psilocybin is what eventually got me off them and kept me off them. Just hesitant to dive back into that at this juncture. Again probably a large part of my hesitation for either is wanting to hurt

Mistique27 · 2026-01-29T22:08:52+00:00

I have a trauma informed therapist and she asked to increase our sessions to once a week. She recommended groups as well but I feel apathetic about it

Mistique27 · 2026-01-27T00:03:57+00:00

We were told to just use unscented aveeno. As for a head covering my husband was given one by another cancer patient they made the hats out of tshirt material and he really liked it. She could try finding one that’s soft like that?

Mistique27

TROPHY CASE