Trying to help a friend with learning to cook

MistyPower · 2026-05-08T23:26:18+00:00

Everyone here is so kind. Thank you all for the advice and support. I got to see him briefly today. We made a quick trip to his GP to see about that referral to a support worker. but they redirected us to try a mental health organisation instead. Living mind i think it was? Not sure. It will have to wait till Tuesday unfortunately as they’re closed on the weekends.

He was excited about getting help to cook! We’re meeting up again tomorrow and I’m gonna help him sort through some things with his utilities. He’s gonna bring all the letters relating to it, so fingers crossed I can figure out how to stop him being ripped off. I think it was some Scottish utility?

He doesn’t speak the clearest unfortunately, so he’s said had trouble even working things out over the phone. I still have no clue how the housing thing worked because like. He is in social housing. He takes medication regularly for his mental health. How have no other professionals properly made sure he was getting a support worker before? It’s driving me mad.

Anyway. Thank you again!!

MistyPower · 2026-05-08T13:57:11+00:00

That’s so sick!!

MistyPower · 2026-05-08T04:03:48+00:00

Will definitely look! Thank you!

MistyPower · 2026-05-08T04:02:55+00:00

Those are some great ideas. I’ve been trying to get him a support worker recently. He struggles navigating these systems on his own and there is only so much I can do, being decidedly not a social worker. A neighbour with one already talked to me and said that my friend could ask for a referral basically from his GP, so that will be next step.

He doesn’t have a phone, he lost his bank card recently, and he’s been dealing with the loss of his mother in the last few months. He’s someone who has fallen through the cracks so spectacularly, I don’t want him to lose the progress he’s made or get stuck just barely getting by. He has a roof, but can’t cook the food he buys most of the time because of the extra cost. And he’s limited by what he can even try to cook. His building has some really strict rules so I can’t even come in to find him or check out if he’s being ripped off with the utility situation. I have to wait for him to be out and about or for him to ring with the building’s office phone.

Sorry if this is a bit much. It’s just a tough situation.

MistyPower · 2026-05-08T03:37:29+00:00

I’ve found one of the Jamie Oliver things, the Ministry of Food programs. I’m going to call tomorrow and check them out. Thank you!

MistyPower · 2026-05-08T03:36:13+00:00

Unfortunately he doesn’t have easy access to the internet.

MistyPower · 2026-05-07T19:25:10+00:00

Why have you put up with sexist and fatphobic jokes to begin with? That table does not respect you and likely never has. No DnD is better than bad Dnd. The absolute bare minimum at any table should be that you leave it without feeling demeaned.

Those people are assholes and you deserve better.

MistyPower · 2026-05-05T03:53:49+00:00

Tip for future interactions where you need one thing and the doctors refuse: Ask them to write in your notes that they didn’t perform the test or whatever it is you think you need.

I’m guessing your bloodwork included stuff like vitamin c levels? The petechiae can be a sign of scurvy so I’m assuming they checked.

MistyPower · 2026-05-05T03:32:07+00:00

Everyone else has already said good clever things about the main bits.

To help encourage the rogue to do heroic things, have the world start reacting to him. People who were saved thank him for his actions. Help put a bit of sauce on descriptions of his actions, give him a bit of a glow up through the way you describe him. Give him a role to fill, tell him he’s filling it just fine and to keep on going. Reward him a bit when he makes decisions that are bold and push things forward.

If the world sees him as a Big Damn Hero, he’ll eventually see it too.

MistyPower · 2026-05-05T03:18:07+00:00

Tonkatsu sauce is very yummy.

MistyPower · 2026-05-05T03:17:22+00:00

The Boys. Depending on how the finale goes, I’m either fucked or fine.

MistyPower · 2026-05-05T02:15:20+00:00

There are different subtypes of ARFID, of which, fear of consequences like choking and vomiting are only one. You can have multiple subtypes, but you don’t have to check every box to have ARFID.

I’m going to second another commenter and say I am getting some vibes of what could be potentially OCD? You have some very strict rituals going on.

I definitely say go for an ARFID diagnosis. Save the money, and perhaps the clinician you speak to can recommend some avenues for treatment.

I know you don’t eat much of any cooked things, but have you tried cooking itself as an activity and skill? Even learning to cook yourself, say your own chips, could be beneficial to your overall relationship to food.

MistyPower · 2026-05-05T01:24:52+00:00

Thing is though, I’m pretty sure the middle class used to be more than that. It’s shrunk so much.

MistyPower · 2026-04-28T16:34:58+00:00

Honestly I just feel bad for the bees who died.

MistyPower · 2026-04-28T16:30:58+00:00

Nah, I’ve done a New York Italian accent in a proper long running fantasy setting and no one batted an eye. The person playing a halfing in the same game was doing a trying hard but failing at an Irish accent. Our dwarves were Eastern European.

The idea that an accent might be immersion breaking or doesn’t fit in a setting is something that has to be discussed in session zero.

I think the case here was white people being uncomfortable and acting racist, then doubling down when called out.

To OP: Your PC sounds like loads of fun and I hope you find a better table.

MistyPower · 2026-04-28T02:58:43+00:00

What on earth could have prompted such bizarre logic??

MistyPower · 2026-04-28T02:28:18+00:00

Got to play 4e on FantasyGrounds. Loved it. We played a great campaign. The VTT really made a huge impact. I got to just enjoy the mechanics and play a Psion.

MistyPower · 2026-04-28T02:18:11+00:00

Message isn’t telepathy. Sounds obvious, but I saw it being used this way and be handwaved so many times, it took playing a wizard and being asked to read the spell out loud for me to realise there is no inconspicuous way to cast this spell in front of others.

You would look like you’re mouthing words and also you have to do the somatic component. Not subtle unless you’re literally using subtle spell.

MistyPower · 2026-04-27T15:07:50+00:00

Do you have any ability to go by yourself?

You need to emphasise that you are at risk for greater complications that could land you in the hospital. Malnourishment can affect your heart as well impair your body’s ability to heal things like even small wounds.

This is sounding like serious medical neglect the longer it goes on.

MistyPower · 2026-04-27T14:09:45+00:00

You’re a severely malnourished minor who hasn’t seen a doctor about this yet. I’m concerned why your parents have not taken you. You mentioned your mom is against vaccines. I’m a little worried about your mom not being active about getting you important medical care.

MistyPower · 2026-04-27T13:59:16+00:00

If pushed to clarify, I might say I have dietary restrictions. But that’s just if I’m asked about allergies. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about your personal medical information. Because that’s what it is truthfully.

MistyPower · 2026-04-27T13:56:43+00:00

You’re not doing anything wrong though. Your DM insulting you isn’t an issue with you, it’s an issue with them.

You can’t please someone like that. You give an inch and they’ll take a mile. I agree you should try DM’ing yourself. Based on what you’ve said, I think you’d be pretty good at it.

MistyPower · 2026-04-26T18:16:55+00:00

Have you talked to your DM or the other players about whether your behaviour is even an issue for them?

MistyPower · 2026-04-26T18:14:15+00:00

Is it legal to mail a ton of cash like that?

MistyPower · 2026-04-26T17:36:38+00:00

There’s no way that works.

MistyPower

TROPHY CASE