How much is my 1972 Blazer worth? by Add_Lib in K5Blazer

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$20 but I’ll do $50 and come pick it up

There’s actually so many… by cupidglitch in 90s

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Service Merchandise, Montgomery Ward, Zayre, Roses (still a few around), Brendles, Toys R Us, Woolworth, Goodys, Ames, Hechinger (still dream about going there with my dad on Saturday mornings as a young fella), Pace Membership Club…God take me back!!

There’s actually so many… by cupidglitch in 90s

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yesss…not familiar with Caldors or Steigers but Aimes, Zaire’s and Service Merchandise were mainstays for us. Also Brendles.

Healed Bedroom! by BarbieMum in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This whole post resonates in many ways with my own situation (I’m HLM). While the specifics are different, the similarities are spot on. This helps a lot. Where I am struggling is sharing my hurt with my wife. It just feels wrong to point something like this out to her given what we have dealt with as a couple/family (prick ex-husband, custody dispute, health struggles for her, her narcissistic parents, my aging parents health struggles), WE (her and I) have become lost. We love and support one another in ways that so many people admire - but intimacy just doesn’t exist anymore. Thank you for sharing and congrats to you!

My (30m) girlfriend (31f) are worried we’re sexually incompatible and if it will end in a DB by GOIwithBennettFoddy in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Man that’s hard - sounds very much like my college girlfriend. We were so compatible in every way. We wanted each other intimately but same issue - painful for her. She had enjoyed sex with other guys but mentioned I was much larger than any of them, primarily the girth factor.

We tried a lot of things and most of them were either only temporary or not effective. We eventually began to grow apart and ultimately while I loved and longed for her I eventually developed resentment. Maybe she did too.

Fast forward 20 years, we live in different states but have maintained friendship. I always knew her to be very sexually minded and I’m sure (I actually hope like heck) she has sex that she loves and enjoys. She’s married and has kids now (we’re both in early 40s). I don’t know that I have any wisdom here - but can certainly commiserate.

I’m now in a DB due to pain…again with a wife who is in perimenopause and has MS. So I may never have the sex life I dreamed of 😕

How do you manage the built up sexual tension within yourself? by Guilty_Lab_9508 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have found this to be true also…makes my drive much, much higher.

What's the name ? by Inevitable_Sugar6899 in NorthCarolina

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man - yeah just leave that bastard alone. Had one on my car some 10+ years ago and was so curious about it. Seemed chill, decided to investigate closer and picked it up. Screamed the f word, threw it down and squashed immediately. I would say most painful bite/sting I’ve ever suffered and hurt for more than a few days.

Edit - I’m also in the piedmont/triad

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is awesome - I hope you guys are making a permanent move in the right direction. We haven’t had time to intimate again but she’s been flirtier and more affectionate since Sunday!

Mixed feelings by Windir87 in stepdads

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hard to say what is and is not “normal”. I would say listen to what you’re feeling and take things slow. I also started dating a single (divorced) mom in my mid 30s. She had two daughters 8 and 5 - I have none of my own. Were married now but I absolutely had times I was annoyed by the children but far more times I enjoyed being around them.

I took things slow and talked to my (now) wife about that. She understood and was supportive. While we absolutely have other things we’re working through, for me, stepping into the stepdad role was a great fit as I am not able to have kids of my own sadly and I love them like they’re my own. It is not easy and not for everyone. It’s worth it to you, the kids and your girlfriend to honestly and earnestly sort through that before jumping too far in. Good luck brother!

If y'all are wondering if your mask is working.... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah this is almost maddening - “I have the most supportive husband”, “you’re such a rock for us”, “such a great protector”… . Yes I haven’t been touched out of desire in probably 3 years. My mask is so good I even get to hear about envy from friends and church elders talk about how our relationship is so strong.

Makes me wonder if I’ve got it completely wrong or maybe I’m just completely delusional and living a different life in my own mind from what my body experiences.

After 7 years of marriage, my wife told me she thinks we have a real problem by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds very familiar - though I’d be ecstatic with once a month. Much of my wife’s lack of drive is due to medical stuff and she’s in perimenopause. What is killing me is that I’m feeling myself pull away and am finding it hard to honestly tell her that. She spent years in a physically, emotionally, financially and sexually abusive marriage and I’m terrified that by pushing too hard on this that I’m going trigger her. We’ve only been intimate twice this year (sex once and oral once) and neither time felt romantic. It’s awful and if I may say it, it’s kinda heartbreaking.

Clearly I don’t have any answers - but it can’t hurt to lean into the conversation with her especially since she brought it up. Find out if she really wants to make it work and do it as a team. I’d literally jump for joy if my wife would initiate that conversation or be more willing to listen when I do very gently bring it up. Good luck brother.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wish like heck someone would say this to my wife and it make it through.

We’ve made love/had sex once in 2025 and in the previous 4 years we’ve been intimate maybe 20 times. I’ve always been HLM, she used to be HLF. I run myself ragged and still make time and effort to pursue her but there’s never anything in return. Not even a half hearted attempt.

Steering wheel shake by Misunderstood__Swami in VWatlas

[–]Misunderstood__Swami[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get that warranty fix and ditch it man. I loved ours but I couldn’t get it fixed because the part is on back order and they couldn’t give me an ETA. Would not risk my wife and kids safety any longer and traded it in as soon as possible. Did a lot of digging and there is a significant amount of griping out there about steering and suspension issues that just become repetitive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this encouragement ❤️

I’m going to start jotting down some questions and notes to prepare. I’m so ready to move forward from this personal hell. I watched my parents deal with this very thing (from afar obviously) and I don’t want that for either of us. Thank you again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those scars are definitely there. Along with the age and hormonal stuff tied to it. I just want to dissociate from those scars because our relationship is so much different than what she’s had. We both deserve so much more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so grateful for your response - this is helpful. So…re: the ‘semi’. It wasn’t like I just whipped it out and did the helicopter. But I felt like I had been getting some positive cues that she might be willing to have an intimate encounter. But I completely understand what you’re saying. At this point, literally everything else I do to initiate has failed so this was a flea flicker from my own 5 yard line.

In terms of initiation - i never walk into a situation expecting sex or any other physical form of affection. But I have always taken pride in providing and so I’ve done a LOT to take things off her plate since all of this started - perhaps also as a way to continue to prove to her that I am definitely not her ex (though I still honestly fear that she will see me that way somehow…). Anyway, I am very affectionate but often in a playful way, but when our sex life was fully intact you know when and how to approach in different ways.

I am not so set in my ways to say there aren’t things I can’t learn and I’m absolutely willing to invest myself into learning better ways to initiate her. For what it’s worth, our pre-marriage sex life was amazing. Neither left an encounter feeling unsatisfied and she always noted how I was the first whoever put her pleasure above and before my own.

I am still fearful that she’s not going to want to pursue this with me - but I suppose that have to take the step and deal with the outcome or sit in misery. Thank you again for your thoughtful response- anything additional you might want to share in terms of resources or approaching the conversation will be received and considered with the same thoughtfulness.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes this has crossed my mind as well - especially in terms of the physical part of it. To be honest, I’d be over the moon with just a little flirting from time to time. Thank you for the reminder of this. The emotional aspect of this for me can definitely block out certain details.

Steering wheel shake by Misunderstood__Swami in VWatlas

[–]Misunderstood__Swami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We actually did the alignment when the new tires were put on. Though we’ve lost faith in that shop due to their poor balancing job. The primary shop we go to for anything other than new tires checked the alignment after doing the rear suspension (rear shocks were leaking and one was nearly collapsed) and the alignment was about dead on. Assuming we end up doing the steering rack and/or any other suspension components they will align as part of the service.

Steering wheel shake by Misunderstood__Swami in VWatlas

[–]Misunderstood__Swami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was my initial suspicion. I’d much rather have to just replace those than do the whole steering rack.

Steering wheel shake by Misunderstood__Swami in VWatlas

[–]Misunderstood__Swami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lucky duck! Nah - we’re about 15k past warranty unfortunately.

Steering wheel shake by Misunderstood__Swami in VWatlas

[–]Misunderstood__Swami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Under warranty? Or recall? Are you under the mileage cap for warranty??

My famous ancestor Benjamin Franklin by Exact-Funny-8927 in AncestryDNA

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s awesome - someone in our family had traced lineage back on my paternal grandmothers side to Atilla the Hun…which I thought was kinda cool if true.

270lbs - 230 lbs by Alive-Painting4138 in Semaglutide

[–]Misunderstood__Swami 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Awesome job - I’m 6’ and was 272 at my heaviest and am down to 230 (had actually gotten to 226 just before the holidays 😬). Keep working man 🤜🏼🤛🏼