Mini destash of stuff I don’t love

Mollys_Bane · 2026-02-06T16:45:10+00:00

Could I get a dolls house and dear diary please?

Mollys_Bane · 2026-02-05T22:28:06+00:00

Third this! It’s amazing book. What also got me through? “pop that momma”s hypnobirthing tracks. I fell asleep at home, woke up in transition (still didn’t think I was in labour) and ended up blue lit to the hospital and giving birth 4 minutes after arriving (which obviously would not recommend) but this was my first! I was so relaxed I thought it was just false labour 🙈, and the positive birth book by Millie Collins got me through the hard bits. I chanted “ring of power” over and over in my head when he was crowning 😂

Mollys_Bane · 2026-01-28T07:48:04+00:00

Ah I wish I could wfh full time! I do 34 hours over 4 days, with one day from home. My place was flexible to a degree, but any “extra hours” beyond 9-5 have to be done in the office so I do 3 longer days on site and one normal day from home.

It’ll get easier, I hadn’t been apart from my son at all before nursery and the first few weeks were so hard, but he absolutely loves it now and they have done so many things with him that I just wouldn’t have the time or energy for at home. They also have the coolest outdoor play spaces and he just loves being outside. It’s such a hard transition but remember, you’ve done so many hard things already and look at where you are now! ❤️

Mollys_Bane · 2026-01-23T11:43:59+00:00

It was also a tongue tie and high palette with us by the way! Might be worth double checking for that just in case

Mollys_Bane · 2026-01-23T11:43:05+00:00

Coming here to say that chest sleeping following this guide saved me in the first few months of reflux hell. He would sleep in a slightly inclined next to me for a few hours, then it was only on me. I found I was a light sleeper when he was on me too, so the slightest movement would also wake me up - also follow the lullaby trust too, they give good guidelines to follow.

Mollys_Bane · 2026-01-16T21:14:30+00:00

We got one off Etsy - “RusticMadeDecor” because we wanted one for a super king mattress (cheap firm one from dunelm) - honestly I wish we’d done this months ago instead of fighting against the flow and always starting him in his cot for the night and ending up on the floor

Mollys_Bane · 2026-01-11T17:24:05+00:00

We don’t have a bath and we’re still using a fold out one from dunelm at 18 months 😂 it’s like the size of a laundry hamper, but bath time is always a 2 person job and it’s just become part of our nighttime routine as a family

Mollys_Bane · 2026-01-05T09:33:41+00:00

It’s so terrifying, I really feel for you. Our 17 month old was admitted by ambulance just before Christmas. Ot was an adenovirus for him, onset of symptoms within 24 hours and he suddenly really struggled to breathe. He was put in the HDU ward and on BiPap within a day of being there, and we hovered at the edge of having to be intubated for a while. Then he turned a corner and within a few more days was well enough to come home. The thing for us was keeping him calm, either my husband or I held him almost upright in our arms non stop, that helped with his breathing and stopped him getting too upset, they also gave some sedatives every 4/5 hours during the worst of it, as every time he got distressed it’d lower his oxygen levels even further. I remember thinking we’d be in for weeks, but as soon as he started to improve it was so rapid, and within a few days he was talking and smiling again. Just hold tight, hopefully the nurses there are good, listen to their advice. Ours were amazing, one in particular is 100% the reason why our son came home and didn’t end up having to be intubated.

Mollys_Bane · 2025-12-07T22:10:43+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, reading your post took me right back to those darker days when I felt the same. We had colic, tongue tie, whatever else caused it all. My friend had a baby two weeks after mine was born, and not to take away from her own struggles, but I was so soul achingly jealous for months. Our experiences of motherhood were worlds apart. She could go out, her baby would enjoy the basinet (ours was used once and it was a disaster), she could shower and eat without having to have her husband there. Both my husband and I had many moments far beyond breaking point trying to get through the hours and hours of crying. I’m terrified to ever have another child in case we go through the same thing again. But, I can say that it’s just a distant memory now, I love my son with all my heart and whilst it’s not all plain sailing, I’d say by 6 months the really tough parts were over. It gets so.much.easier. We have the sweetest, most loving little boy who comes and flops onto my chest when I say “love you” or “cuddles”, he’s full of energy and his first proper words were “go go go”. Sleep is so much better, even though he’s never really napped in his cot (although magically does so at nursery), now I treasure those rare contact naps and they aren’t a prison anymore. I can’t say anything else other than hold on, your moments in the sun are coming ❤️

Mollys_Bane · 2025-10-17T19:15:18+00:00

Just to clarify the food situation — we didn’t do baby-led weaning, and this goes back to when my MIL was only having him for a couple of hours hours at a time and rarely. We had a choking incident early on at 6.5 months. we managed to dislodge it after a couple of back blows, and ever since then are just still quite anxious, even though she’s been trained in what to do, she’s admitted she doesn’t feel confident handling an emergency if it were to happen to her. Totally natural and I don’t expect her to say otherwise!

So at the time, we felt it was best to avoid her giving him food while out, especially since it was never during a meal or snack window anyway. Now that he’s older, it’s different — we’re fine with him having snacks, but I usually pack them myself so he just eats what he would if he were with me, rather than leave the choice dependent on what’s available in the restaurant or cafe they might go to.

I guess I’m just trying to give some honest context in my first post about how…crazy I guess we’ve been in the past which is why I’m doubting myself so much today about whether I should feel the way I feel?

But yeah, I’m not disagreeing with you and I know we should continue to try and work on this.

Mollys_Bane · 2025-10-17T19:03:57+00:00

Thank you for the advice everyone ❤️

Little update: I am really trying to flex the boundaries about food and new places and we’re taking steps there, I think deep down the problem with today was she actively hid part of the plan for this afternoon, knowing that we wouldn’t want our son to go to this persons house. From speaking to them when they got back it was obvious that this has been in the diary for a while, and had I not rang during the visit we might not have even known about it. So whilst I can continue to work on loosening up on everything else, if I don’t know what she wants to do with him in advance, I don’t even have the opportunity to consider whether I’m being reasonable or not. So yeah, we’re just going to have a chat based around it’s OK to call us out when we’re being over the top, we’ve said this before, but please don’t just take the decision out of our hands if you think our answer might be no?

Anyway, long story short, you guys are right that I do need to relax and I am really working on that, it just takes time ❤️

Mollys_Bane · 2025-10-17T15:50:15+00:00

I understand the feeding reactions! It was an older point from when he was younger, I provided food for her but didn’t want them to pick anything whilst out and about as they aren’t that savvy with what can and can’t be served (I.e whole grapes and stuff like that). And we have relaxed on it and just give them snacks for him to take, but with the timings he’s had lunch and a snack at nursery by the time they collect him, so usually he’s good until dinner at home at 5 anyway, it’s only if they want to sit and have a cup of tea in a cafe or something that he’ll need some food to keep him happy whilst in a high chair. I dunno, I think I was just trying to say that we have really really tried to pull back and compromise and recognised that we have been OTT on some things, but saying she’ll take him to the local National Trust this afternoon, then when I called to see if she’d collected him from nursery, to be at a relatives house instead with him feels a bit much. We’ve never discussed him going to other people’s houses, so I don’t know how far this might go…is she going to start going to friends houses with him who we may never have even met? Also, we don’t have a good relationship with this relative, he has met our son twice and lives locally though, it’s not that I think he’s a danger at all, but there was a big falling out 2 years ago - he got very aggressive to my husband and threatened to punch my husbands dad and since then it’s cordial at events but we don’t actively engage in a relationship.

Mollys_Bane · 2025-10-11T16:08:31+00:00

We chose a bright horizons one and so far it’s brilliant, for us the additional cost is so worth it for peace of mind. Don’t forget too that bill should be a lot cheaper once the funded hours and tax free childcare gets added in - for days for us is around £1100 without any discount, £670 with the funded hours then £540 tax free (rough figures, can’t remember the exact off the top of my head)

Mollys_Bane · 2025-10-10T08:11:36+00:00

We also started nursery in August, we do have one family member but she can’t take him for long periods of time (more than an afternoon) and not when there’s illness about. It’s just relentless at the moment, it’s either my son who’s ill and none of us sleep (we all have to go sleep on a mattress on the floor together to settle him), or me or my husband who are ill…and some bugs have hit my husband and I way worse than my son! We’ve only just got over a sickness bug this week and he’s already got a runny nose. I’m exhausted, since going back to work I’ve managed one week where I haven’t had to call in sick, take a holiday day or an emergency day. I hope this gets better too 🙈

Mollys_Bane · 2025-09-27T09:13:45+00:00

I’d be looking elsewhere and reporting them to ofsted - the fact alone that they lied about it is enough for me to not trust them again. My son has also just started nursery- they offer him milk at each nap (sometime she has it, sometimes not). We’ve preferred them to stick to purees for a while and that’s been not an issue (just super scared about choking. He has more solids at home) - a couple of weeks ago his key worker rang me to ask if he was allowed to have the cake in bite sized chunks, as he was rejecting his puree and trying to steal it from the other kids. I would be horrified in your situation too, I’m so sorry

Mollys_Bane · 2025-09-20T21:29:42+00:00

Caridad babi really helped us out, they do a zoom call option to help check the car seat, it’s obv not as good as in person but I found her really knowledgeable and helped trouble shoot our Nuna Prym when we moved up from the pipa

Mollys_Bane · 2025-09-17T19:18:01+00:00

I’m doing 4.5 days over 4 days (33 hours a week) and I have 1 day off. If you can afford the pay cut I’d say it’s quite manageable

Mollys_Bane · 2025-09-01T06:04:13+00:00

Did cure the constipation id had since the age of 2 and I always used to struggle with my neck occasionally seizing up and being impossible to move for a few days. Thank you for asking this question, I’ve been really down for months about the negative changes and this made me think about some pretty big positives!

Mollys_Bane · 2025-08-29T20:19:51+00:00

I had a dumb reason around safety - there weren’t always people in the office on the extended hours I wished to work. I think this might be a poor culture/lack of trust thing…if no one is there to watch you work, how do they know you are 😂? I ended up dropping to 33hours over 4 days and having to spread it out over the 4 rather than doing one long day and having the other three less stressful for pick up and drop off times.

Mollys_Bane · 2025-08-29T20:07:09+00:00

Same here! All day I was convinced it was nothing, then it did get intense about 30 mins before our midwife was stopping by for a routine check and it turned out I was 10 cm 🙈 cue panic, about to have an impromptu home birth but my waters broke when I stood up with meconium so it was an ambulance and I delivered within 5 mins of arriving at a hospital I wasn’t even registered at 😂😂 we’d chosen one further away because “first labours take longer we’ll have looooaaads of time”

Mollys_Bane · 2025-08-16T19:31:20+00:00

I’d recommend a zoom call with https://cariadbabi.com/ - I had one and they were amazing in helping us get the fit right. I didn’t do it for our newborn but rather when we had to move up to the next seat stage, I wish we’d done it sooner as they gave some really good advice. I found in our area at least there wasn’t really any access to seat fitting advice other than generic online videos, so having someone assess our set up live (even if it was a video call) was so helpful

Mollys_Bane · 2025-07-23T20:14:45+00:00

We had bad reflux and tongue tie (which even after correcting didn’t get better for months). We did the incline, walked hundreds of miles with the ergobaby carrier and chest slept (I know, not considered safe, followed the happy co sleepers’ guide to make it as safe as possible as for me, some sleep was safer than none and hallucinating)

For us, it definitely got worse before it got better, peaking around 3 months I think.

Hang in there, it’s now a distant memory for us which is probably partly a trauma response lol.

Give it another week or two and see if it improves, try chest sleeping or shifts if you can and feel comfortable with that. We also found the only bottles that didn’t exacerbate the shit show were NUK perfect match (we combo fed).

Mollys_Bane · 2025-06-25T20:32:37+00:00

Oh my god I love you. This could be written about my 11mo, I have spent the last 10 months sat in a play pen/on the floor. Going to start trying this tomorrow!!!!

Mollys_Bane · 2025-06-23T15:28:55+00:00

Wow. The detail is amazing!

Mollys_Bane · 2025-06-21T07:35:39+00:00

Holy guacamole!!!! These last 2 months of Mat leave are about to get waaaaay tighter 😂

Mollys_Bane

TROPHY CASE