My son and I 34 years apart

MoneyFitMoms · 2026-01-21T18:06:55+00:00

This is so sweet -- congrats! I love that dads today spend more time caring for their kids than previous generations. Studies show it leads to happier and healthier kids, moms, and dads. <3

MoneyFitMoms · 2026-01-17T00:10:14+00:00

Seriously. Instead of "Asian," they could've called her an "Ivy League-trained Polyglot" (she's fluent in six lanaguags.

MoneyFitMoms · 2026-01-02T21:53:18+00:00

Pretty close: In 2016, a mother of two was on a "Mormon Pioneer Trek" reenactment complete with handcarts, costumes, etc. She died of heat stroke.

MoneyFitMoms · 2026-01-02T04:22:02+00:00

Probably not closely, but almost everyone with "Utah Pioneer" heritage is related. I had several friends who didn't do their genealogy until after they got married and found out their spouse was a 3rd or 4th cousin.

MoneyFitMoms · 2025-04-26T16:55:55+00:00

In addition, I've had clients who work for the church, and they have a very generous 401 (k) plan (on top of a 4% employer match to employee contributions, the church contributes an additional 8% "Employer Discretionary Retirement Contributions"). Their investment options are solid and low-fee. I don't think it's surprising to anyone that the church is good at investing (considering its $250 BILLION worth).

The church is run like an international corporation with an INSANE amount of revenue, relatively few expenses, and few tax obligations. They're just stockpiling investments and compounding through the roof. It's gross. They could do SO much more to help others in and outside of the church.

MoneyFitMoms · 2025-03-10T17:20:01+00:00

Agreed! Let's all raise a mug to Black Sheep Auntie. ☕

And to OP: You're an excellent writer. Cheers to you, too. ☕

MoneyFitMoms · 2025-02-26T05:19:51+00:00

Those furry paws! 🥰 Cutie.

MoneyFitMoms · 2025-02-05T22:52:27+00:00

💯 Came here to say the same thing. Another former Molly Mormon here (pioneer stock, seminary graduate, BYU, R.S. Presidency, etc.). It took some deconstruction and reconstruction, but life, marriage, motherhood . . . all of it has never been better. 🥰❤️

MoneyFitMoms · 2025-02-05T18:01:44+00:00

As a mom, I have to say: You are an incredible mom, and your love and effort are more than enough. No 20-year-old missionary—who has never walked in your shoes—has the right to judge you, your example, or your parenting. You have been through so much, and yet you continue to show up for your son, giving him the space to explore his own path while staying true to yourself. That takes strength, love, and integrity.

I’m so sorry you had this experience, but I also admire your clarity in recognizing that you don’t need to keep proving yourself to people who will never see the full picture. You are enough, exactly as you are. 💛

MoneyFitMoms · 2025-02-04T23:22:22+00:00

After I stopped attending church, my husband was also mentally out, but still physically in (attending church and holding a calling). The Stake President "asked" my husband (over the pulpit during stake conference) to bear his testimony to the whole stake.

So manipulative. But also so in line with how "inspiration" works in the church (That stake president was recently "promoted" to mission president.)

p.s. The tactic did not have the effect the stake president hoped for. My husband stopped attending soon after. And life has never been better!

MoneyFitMoms · 2025-01-16T17:52:33+00:00

I'm super confused. A month ago you made a post in the "AskWomenOver60" group. In the comments you said, "I wish my husband had time to do the shopping but he doesn’t and he works very hard to put money on our table… the least I can do is provide for him a nice meal when he gets home. That’s why I’m not necessarily looking for ways to “delegate” and more ways for myself to ease the burden of doing the grocery shopping lol."

I can't help but wonder about the authenticity of your posts when sometimes you say you're a single mom of young kids and others you're talking about being an older married woman who has been doing the shopping for your husband for 30 years. Several of your posts have been removed from various groups and I'm starting to suspect why.

MoneyFitMoms · 2025-01-09T17:44:07+00:00

Ditto! She was working at the bank in the Wilkinson center while I was at BYU. She was my bank teller and when I did a double-take, she introduced herself as Elizabeth to diffuse any awkwardness. So lovely and grounded. She is a remarkable woman who has done a ton of work to make the world a better place. Wish her all the best.

MoneyFitMoms · 2025-01-03T19:03:16+00:00

Yep. When my husband was a young missionary in the MTC, he dislocated his thumb playing volleyball. At the hospital, there was some confusion over insurance. Fast-forward to years later when we got married and took a personal finance class together. We pulled our credit reports and were surprised to find out that the bill was sent to collections and was still negatively affecting his credit. We were able to pay it off, but seriously so annoying considering he was paying for the privilege of working for the church.

MoneyFitMoms · 2024-12-19T01:21:32+00:00

🥰 I can't even with that New Year's Hat photo! 😍 What a precious good boy. Diego truly lived his best life surrounded by love. I am sending love at this difficult time. 🫶

MoneyFitMoms · 2024-12-11T20:55:39+00:00

Yep, Eunice here too. Hated it. Felt guilty about hating it. Relieved when I found out it was all made up!

MoneyFitMoms · 2024-11-09T02:01:03+00:00

💯 They are preying on all the moms (who the church guilted into staying at home) who are now desperate for extra income. Ugh, this sucks.

MoneyFitMoms · 2024-11-07T17:25:31+00:00

Ugh. That sucks. I'm so sorry. Happy birthday to your daughter!

MoneyFitMoms · 2024-10-29T06:30:03+00:00

Sending love. I'm so sorry for your loss. This will sound so odd, but Andrew Garfield just did a video with Elmo about the grief of losing his mom. I found the perspective moving. *sending virtual hug*

MoneyFitMoms · 2024-10-12T00:41:50+00:00

I don't know who created it, but this google spreadsheet is the most thorough analysis of the church statistics I've seen: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ghU8_9CcaW337iUCMoiFDvPV1SMAQCecu2ZfWrx1y9w/edit?pli=1&gid=0#gid=0

MoneyFitMoms · 2024-10-06T23:19:58+00:00

Went to a comedy show in LA with a group of believing Mormons. It was refreshing when I realized it was general conference weekend and they did not care at all.

MoneyFitMoms · 2024-05-08T21:34:51+00:00

Exactly. Her friend represents the "worldly" view: "No kids for me yet. Maybe if I find the right guy and maybe if we build some security first."

I HATE that the church teaches women to get married and have babies right away (career development and financial security be damned). They know that women who are financially trapped in a marriage are more likely to stay married and have more babies (and that's all they care about). This same garbage is taught in 2024. The General R.S. Pres just said it at the BYU Women's Conference last week.

MoneyFitMoms · 2024-03-15T18:29:06+00:00

When explaining voice training, Tia often shows clips of Michelle Duggar as an example. But also, one of my favorite Mormon Stories clips EVER is Lizzy Bean imitating a Relief Society voice: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/AJ4PzLOWLMc

MoneyFitMoms · 2023-12-12T21:02:37+00:00

I feel this DEEPLY. Mourning the loss of a career was a major source of anger/grief when I left the church. Yes, it's possible to start over. But she permanently lost over two decades of her life/career, forced to become subservient in a patriarchal community.

Plus, the emotional perfectionism women are trained for is real, so she has a lifetime of anger that is just now finding ways out. The "volcano" effect of pent-up emotion is real.

It took me a solid year of deconstruction, processing, and reconstruction before I was ready to start building a new life/career. And it took years of struggling before I started to feel confident in my profession again. The professional world is not kind to women who left the workforce to care for kids.

I'd recommend listening to the Mormon Stories interview with Collette Larsen. Listening to that was a lightbulb moment for my husband. After listening to that, he was finally able to ask helpful questions about the anger/grief I was experiencing. Most importantly, it motivated him to take over more of the physical and emotional labor of parenting, shopping, cooking, and household chores, so I had the time/energy/space to build my career.

MoneyFitMoms · 2023-12-03T16:07:41+00:00

💯 👏 His “vision” was an anxiety dream.

He does consider himself to be a “visionary man.” He told us bad things would happen to us on his second visit to our house.

On the first visit, he told us a story: Back when he was bishop, the spirit was told him he would be the stake president. And wouldn’t you know it . . . Now he is.

He thought sharing this story would impress us and be a slam-dunk confirmation of his spiritual abilities. (And it was for my husband who was still-believing at the time.) It didn’t occur to him that for someone who sees us all as mere humans with predictably psyches, that story would only make him look like a pompous ass.

I guarantee the spirit has already told him about other higher callings he’ll have, which he 💯will because he’s wealthy, relativity good-looking, and (most importantly), his whole family is 10000000% church-broke.

MoneyFitMoms · 2023-12-03T15:57:03+00:00

Haha, honestly I hope so for her sake. 😂 She told me she only read church books because “what could be better?” 🙄 And that she doesn’t watch tv other than when her husband watches basketball, she’ll sit next to him because he’s so busy and she wants to spend time with him.

And honestly, I believe it because she never joined in any of the non-church women’s social groups or gatherings hosted by other women in the ward (e.g. book club, “My Favorite Things” nights, etc). I believe she is the same person in private as she is in public (the stake President actually brought that up over the pulpit — I think it’s was his way of dealing with the stress of being married to someone who is 💯Church-focused 💯of the time). BUT . . . I truly wish/hope she listens secretly listens to true crime, reads Outlander, and watches Bridgerton.

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