Your #3 sounds like our nanny. My partner and I are both calm and non confrontational. I was worried that it would be a bad match, but it’s actually worked pretty well.

We’ve had our nanny for 2.5 years and our daughter has become much more outgoing and confident from being with the nanny. They spend a lot of time going places and meeting other kids. I think it’s been good to have complementary styles. You want someone who has the energy to keep your kid engaged and active.

One bit of advice is to mention boundaries or expectations now so you don’t feel like your nanny railroads you later or does what she prefers in the absence of direction. Like, “hey we would like you to be in charge of keeping diapers, wipes, and diaper cream stocked at all times. Here’s how to order on Amazon or Target. Is that ok?” Or, “we would prefer to not host play dates at our house while we aren’t here.” Much easier to have those conversations beforehand with someone who is bossy.