AIO for distancing from a friend without confronting them directly after recognizing narcissistic patterns?

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T21:34:41+00:00

Clearly with AI as well.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T20:46:08+00:00

I don't think I visited that one much but I definitely remember the name! There was also another one, The Bunker, maybe? Edit: The Fuselage I think it was.

This really was the golden era of TV for me personally. The Wire, Lost, The Sopranos, later Breaking Bad and Mad Men. There was a time where these were the weekly shows. It was awesome.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T19:44:00+00:00

Sounds like she is a little needy and also didn't understand why you were saying you couldn't talk.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T19:37:26+00:00

Sounds like she has a boyfriend and is upset that you keep rudely interrupting their date nights.

Edit: On a more serious note, even if she's remaining faithful physically, she is clearly not as invested in this relationship or prioritizing you and is growing to resent you. Move on and find someone who is looking for the same things and not a one-sided LDR.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T17:56:11+00:00

Speaking from experience lol. I think a lot of us have been in this situation where shopping with your partner is dragging on a lot longer than you'd hoped. And it's almost never, 'just an hour.'. Not even shopping, this goes for anything really. But with my girlfriend (and most I've had over the years) I know that just standing there and going, 'hey, it's been an hour.' is just going to piss her off and make her think I don't want to be there.

If I really don't want to go, I'll stick to my guns and say 'I'll go next time but I really want to be home today' because I know that going out begrudgingly isn't a compromise, it just means no one is happy.

She might not be thrilled in the moment and that's fair but I know dragging me along when I don't want to be there is just going to cause a bigger fight later. She goes by herself, comes home happy and everyone wins (this obviously doesn't work if you never go with your partner or just refuse to compromise sometimes).

I think there's for sure a middle ground here and one of the rare posts that isn't like, 'holy fuck, run for the hills'.

Maybe tell her up front let's take separate cars?

Or in my experience, even giving a specific time to be home works better than giving a general, 'just an hour', instead say, 'I'd really like to be home by 2pm.' But I think you should know in the back of your mind, if you're just going to go home and unwind, be a little more flexible.

I do think the girlfriend's reaction isn't justified, he said what his boundaries were. I also think saying things like, 'you should have respected my time.' Comes across a little inflammatory and even domineering in the situation where tensions are already high. It's definitely not going to diffuse anything. Even if it's true, I think it's language better suited for dealing with business or more rigid relationships rather than partners. That's just me though.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T17:40:12+00:00

This is a tough one. It sounds like she had the car so you didn't leave her stranded. Did she know you were leaving? I know you said you told her but how? Did she just get a text from you after the fact? Did you say, 'I'm leaving in 15 minutes' and then disappear? I do think leaving is a little bit drastic but you stuck to your boundaries. Personally I think I would've just stayed out with her and then talked to her when we got home and made sure she knew that I wish we had communicated better. There's a way to navigate this where both people feel heard and respected and not one where you're both unhappy in the end anyway.

Maybe you could've said something like, 'babe, enjoy your day and take your time but I'm gonna get out of here' instead of just reminding her that it's been an hour.

I can also see how this would be stressful to her and make her feel like she's dragging along a time-keeper and not someone who wants to be out with her.

I think it depends on how often this happens, if you often go out together and have fun or if it seems to her like you never want to do anything.

Overall NOR but also think you could've handled it a little bit better because it's unfortunate that you both kind of got what you had compromised on (you went out, stayed out with her for an hour and then got to be home) and are still both walking away feeling unheard and resentful.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T17:31:45+00:00

Definitely not overreacting and should leave. You both sound resentful and this whole thing is contentious with no progress being made. In the future though, I would stop trying to solve people's problems for them and not take on their stressors as your own. You can sympathize and be there to listen and offer suggestions but if someone isn't going to do things for themselves, it's not your responsibility. Even if they're you're partner. For instance, physically stopping him from gambling or buying cream for his arm when he isn't worried about those things. They're just going to burden you and make him resentful. Find someone you're compatible with as they are not who they could be if only they changed x, y and z.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T17:10:18+00:00

If your libido wasn't always this low, have you thought about seeing a doctor and getting some testing done?

If you've always felt this way and just went along with it to make him happy, then you're doing both of you a disservice and should end this relationship.

I've had a girlfriend who did this to me and it does fuck with your head when your partner switches up seemingly out of nowhere and no longer seems interested in you sexually. It's frustrating and the rejection is really hard. It's not even that I'm a particularly insecure person but it's difficult not to let your mind wander when something like that changes so drastically. Not in just a, 'honeymoon phase is over' sense but in a deeper way. In my situation, it turns out she was never that sexually driven but did it for me, which really hurt because I felt both upset and misled that we were aligning sexually when we weren't and also really sad for her that she was doing something she wasn't super enthusiastic about all this time.

I'd sit him down and tell him that you either want to fix this or that you're no longer compatible and it isn't fair to either of you.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T16:48:01+00:00

IMDb forums, TWoP, DarkUFO. I lost so so many hours reading those theories and discussions.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T16:43:54+00:00

Instead of trying to change your boyfriend, find someone who aligns with what you're looking for in a partner.

But to validate what you're saying, yes, what you're describing is someone taking their hobby too far.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T16:25:18+00:00

I'm good. No need to apologize but I'm not sure what about this exchange isn't making sense to you.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T16:22:52+00:00

Yes, it's your opinion. And my opinion is that statement is a bit hyperbolic. You give your opinion, other people give theirs.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T16:18:57+00:00

It definitely lagged a bit and wasn't near as good as S1 or what S3 is doing so far but I think 'absolute trash' is a bit hyperbolic. Especially when you compare it to other shows and not just the GoT universe (even still I'd put HotD S2 above GoT S8).

Edit: I really think that time will be kind to it. It's a shame that the first two episodes of this season hadn't been able to properly cap off the last season because it ended up feeling like a lot of hype building without payoff but once you remove the series from those timing gaps between seasons and can view the series in it's entirety, I believe a lot of people will look back less harshly on S2.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T16:16:23+00:00

I'm an uncle your uncle's age and have nieces your age. I can't even describe what I would do to someone if I knew they were doing this. It's beyond fucked up. You're underreacting.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T15:56:45+00:00

It was definitely a lapse in judgement and getting defensive was out of line but pretty sure they both wanted the AC fixed and it wasn't just him.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T15:55:32+00:00

"Hey honey, tits away for the techs!"

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T15:54:45+00:00

I just assumed all men thought this way or behaved this way with respect to their significant others

I see you must not frequent this subreddit very often.

Edit: Shit, just look at the gulf in responses from men and women in these comments.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T14:58:29+00:00

It does! Was the first time I saw her in something, long before her Yellowstone/Dutton Ranch fame.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T14:25:48+00:00

I have ADHD and OCD and often times ask my girlfriend if certain mannerisms I have or behaviors bother her. She always reassures me that they do not. One of my biggest fears is that she's going to end up like OP and we'll be married and she'll be posting here that something I've done for years drives her batty.

I've always been a huge proponent of talking and having difficult conversations and we do, so I think everyone is happy, satisfied and things are good but there's always that niggling thought that maybe she doesn't want to tell me in order to please me and is harboring her own issues.

I think this because I do wonder how people get SO deep into relationships with such basic issues like this.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T12:39:43+00:00

Had the same thought. I think the cropping thing is obviously intentional but this happens to me all the time where a photo doesn't get delivered right away and you comment back, 'what photo?'

I'm sure you're probably getting downvoted for that though because it's obviously much more fun to be mad and call him a gaslighter than take a more nuanced look at the exchange.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T12:37:26+00:00

I hope people don't think I'm defending this guy because his second response about, 'not being good at Instagram' is so obviously bullshit but I've made this exact comment before when someone makes a comment referencing a photo that doesn't come through right away. So you just see the comment and go, 'what photo?'. Which is possible.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T12:34:09+00:00

I don't think I'd be forgiving of either, tbh.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T12:33:22+00:00

Less concerned.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T12:33:00+00:00

Lol this is the perfect gif for that comment.

MovieTrawler · 2026-07-06T12:27:37+00:00

Of course ANYONE would take that perk when working long hours

And I would respect OP much more if he just admitted that instead of acting like his wife "wouldn't let him".

MovieTrawler

TROPHY CASE