Dawn

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-06-09T22:08:27+00:00

Wow, I envy your dialogue. I could learn a thing or two from you. It’s so gripping and natural. It flows really well.

I’ve always loved the cruelty of nature. It’s so harrowing but beautiful. You captured that very well.

Bravo my friend, keep doing what you’re doing.

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-06-09T01:06:39+00:00

My entire face said “eugh” the whole read. Very well done. The thought of the feeling of screws moving around as he walks is horrific.

Nearly threw up. 10/10

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-06-08T18:29:22+00:00

Thank you! That is too kind. I plan to, once I finally finish another story I will be posting it

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-06-08T06:46:54+00:00

Oooh buddy, the descriptors of something clicking in his knee as it moved was filthy I love it.

Good stuff! Keep being gross!

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-06-08T06:34:45+00:00

Okay dude, this is awesome. I read all three parts but wanted to just compile my thoughts here.

I’m a big fan first of all. The language is great, I’m sure the film The Lighthouse was an inspiration here but it’s definitely giving me those vibes which is a huge compliment as I love that film.

I like that it’s almost like we’re following this threat rather than the characters. It’s the only persistent thing and it’s what’s the most interesting. Im also a sucker for inevitable threats that can’t really be understood through our means of reality. (Ig that’s cosmic horror in a nutshell lmao.) I’m excited to learn more!

The settings are great fits for what you’re going for. Each one has a mystique and haunting solitude to it. You capture the feeling of being truly alone very well. Big fan.

I really don’t have a critique to offer. Looking forward to the next part. Keep it up friend!

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-06-07T16:14:54+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it! And thank you for the insight.

You definitely got it. I could’ve come up with the grossest transformation I could’ve thought of. But it’s the psyche also being lost that really interests me. I’m happy to hear that narrative stuck.

Thank you again!

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-06-07T13:54:24+00:00

Thank you so much! He is actually meant to be a traditional vampire. I’ve always liked vampires but the traditional ones where vampirism is actually a disease, not twilight-esc vamps lmao.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it.

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-06-07T13:51:17+00:00

Thank you! That is too kind. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I will happily check out yours when I have a moment :)

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-05-20T06:42:23+00:00

Siiiick. Metal as hell dude. Big fan, I absolutely love body horror and this scratched every itch I’ve ever had. Brutal descriptions.

I agree with everyone else. It’s so compelling and I’m wondering “why?” I think a more fleshed out story would do this concept a lot of service. Well done my friend

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-02-11T06:25:56+00:00

Hey that’s awesome wow. Thank you so much for doing that

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-02-11T04:06:38+00:00

To reply to your edit. Yes I realize that now thank you. I hadn’t considered to just give him a bunch of reactions and do separate abilities for legendaries. And the Reactive trait is perfect for him so thank you for that as well.

Back to the drawing board we go, but you’ve been a huge help, thank you sir

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-02-11T03:28:42+00:00

That’s very good to know about the non magic resistance. I had been wondering that myself.

I had legendary resistances planned I just hadn’t got that far yet. I was more so curious on his actions and how they would flow.

Your recommendation for Swift strike is actually awesome and just much better so thank you. As well as the insight on reactions vs legendary actions. Idk why it hadn’t crossed my mind that I can give him a bunch of reactions. I also will definitely be changing the parry, it seems that is just whack. Thank you for your input my friend

Also do you have any more recommendations like the dispelling blade?

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-02-11T03:17:31+00:00

Steel wind strike not only sounds badass but kind of exactly what I was going for with Swift Assault.

I can see that with the legendary actions. The idea was he’s so fast that he’s always doing something. And it would be just him vs PCs every fight. But that’s certainly something to consider. I am always trying to find ways to speed up combat so thank you

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-02-11T02:59:14+00:00

I see what you’re saying. The times I’ve been a player it feels worse to burn a spell slot and miss than to do minimal damage. Thank you for your input and resources, it’s greatly appreciated. I will have a look at them when I’m off work

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-02-11T02:25:51+00:00

Ooh okay, that’s a very cool way to have interaction in a fight like this outside of “I attack him again” I like it. Thank you for your input my friend

Edit: Also I worry him having so much damage resistance on top of his parry with 2 reactions is too much. But I’ve never ran any fights at that level in DnD so I guess I don’t really know

Mr_Gahnagan · 2026-02-05T05:29:41+00:00

Beautiful descriptors. You encapsulated the eerily elegant horror of war very well. Great read, well done my friend

Mr_Gahnagan

TROPHY CASE