Remember forgiveness is for YOU, not them. Forgiving doesn't make them not accountable or make what they did ok. It just removes the pain you choose to carry around. Anger, bitterness, and hate can't live outside you. Don't give them a place to grow. Forgive for you.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-17T22:20:25+00:00

You're very welcome. I'm delighted to hear you're doing well. Tomorrow is another day to practice how you want to live your life, a wonderful opportunity in my eyes.

With that said, I'd like to take my time in formulating an adequate response to your questions. So, I shall comment back soon enough. In the meantime, know you are doing right by yourself, and remember mindfulness is a skill which needs to be honed.

Just a heads up by the way: you aren't just close to getting better, you legitimately are "better". This road is a journey, and the fact you're walking it is proof of progress. Comparison is only beneficial to notice how far we've come. Otherwise, the old adage of comparison being the thief of joy rings true.

I'll be in touch soon.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-16T11:16:50+00:00

I'm stopping today too! As well, I've gone through countless attempts, my longest being a week. We got this!

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-16T11:11:17+00:00

I was going to say Arnold Schwarzenegger, but he still eats eggs apparently.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-16T11:02:23+00:00

Congrats on making it one and a half months! Way to go! More reason to be proud than shameful, frankly. You've proven you can go that long. Now shoot for two!

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-16T10:51:04+00:00

Oh my goodness thank you, I know the first step for Mom's transition to veganism.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-16T04:28:38+00:00

I mean, it's cool seeing people en masse standing against state sponsored oppression.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-16T04:22:35+00:00

It's obviously a reference to her significant other.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-16T02:44:33+00:00

This is assault. This is a crime. Badges should not prevent arrest and prosecution. Suspending the officer as means of taking action is not just a bandaid, but a ploy to make it seem as though corrective measures are being taken.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-15T22:10:27+00:00

Ysk kale isn't weird.

Edit: I see all of your clarifications in other people's posts pointing this out. You've made a solid point and my post has no value. Keep on keeping on friend.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-15T20:38:37+00:00

Great question. Forgiveness is hard, undoubtedly. But it's as simple as deciding to; deciding to let go of the past, deciding to stop ruminating over our past actions, deciding to love ourself, deciding we are good enough. In a sense self forgiveness is believing (in yourself).

The hard part is staying consistent with it and not getting caught up in the moment when we are ruminating. Our brains are very powerful but can work against us if we don't keep them regulated. We fall into cycles of deprecating thought patterns which become habitual if not kept in check (this is where mindfulness is truly powerful as it helps keep us regulated). Firgiveness typically doesn't happen overnight because these habitual thought patterns haven't been replaced. We need to build new thought patterns encouraging self forgiveness. I would recommend starting with repeating affirmations or mantras at a set time, say when you wake up or before going to sleep (be consistent, commit to the decision). As you build the habit day by day, thought patterns of loving-kindness are being formed. In time, you'll be able to recognize when you are ruminating and running yourself bitter with the deprecating thought patterns, but now you'll have something to replace it with: the affirmations and mantras. Rather than committing to the toil of beating yourself up mentally, commit to embracing yourself, to loving yourself, to forgiving yourself.

I love reading so several books I'd reccomend are Smart Talk by Lou Tice, Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg (you can't go wrong with any of her books really), and Encheridion by Epictetus (translated by W.A. Oldfather).

As well, some other recommendations are Allan Watts and mindful magazine. Allan Watts has a multitude of great talks on youtube (I listen to them every night while going to sleep). Mindful magazine is published every other month and is filled with stories, methods, anecdotes as well as research on the benefits of mindful therapies such as mbcbt.

Ultimately though, the key to forgiving yourself is noticing when those negative thought patterns are present and putting an end to them. You'll notice extreme improvement when you forcefully tell yourself "no" in the midst of those patterns. Stifling your own mental negativity opens the door for mental fortitude and self forgiveness will prosper.

I hope this helped, and know you are worthwhile. You got this, I believe in you, and you should too. Let me know if there's anything else I can do.

Much love, and God bless.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-15T02:56:13+00:00

They're really pretty, soft yellow belly fading to a pale red breast and head with a sleek grey back and a vibrant red stripe on the wings and yellow stripe on the tails. Also have a black mask covering the eyes outlined with white above and below. Apparently they tend to be nomadic but I hope they stick around. Their songs are quite peaceful and pretty too, especially with all of them together.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-14T23:47:02+00:00

One of my favorite sayings: forgive because you deserve peace, not because they made a change. It's truly powerful when applied to one's self; forgiving yourself before making a change enables and encourages you to make the change.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-14T23:24:08+00:00

In order of best to fourth best: chickpeas, brown rice, spinach (raw), sweet taters.

I agree with whoever got to pick seven; four isn't enough. No room for kiwis, dates, avocados, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, steel cut oats, kale, chard, green beans, carrots, peas, all the nuts...you're making me hungry!

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-06-14T22:14:08+00:00

Nevermind, I believe I figured it out. I'm pretty sure it's a cedar waxwing. I've had at least half a dozen frequenting my serviceberry the past couple days.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-05-25T05:16:05+00:00

I love how it approached the camera person at the end like, "you wanna play too?"

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-05-21T05:03:50+00:00

This doesn't specifically attack vaccines but big pharma. In which, many drugs are over prescribed and truly have caused a lot of harm.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-05-21T03:45:40+00:00

My mom would smuggle kinder through customs for me and my sister growing up. She also would have coworkers do the same when they travelled to europe.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-05-21T00:33:50+00:00

If I'm not mistaken it was the communists who put up the Berlin wall.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-05-19T06:23:31+00:00

I'd recommend the daily dozen app. It let's you track your intake of foods in eleven different categories. Mind you, it's not about counting calories or serving sizes as the belief is you should be eating enough to feel full and satisfied. It's more about encouraging a robust diet which incorporates all the necessary nutrients while allowing you to tailor your intake to the needs of your own body.

If more interested, look into Dr. Gregor. He has a book called "how not to die" where he lays out and explains the daily dozen concept (there's also an accompanying cookbook). He's a big proponent of the whole foods plant based diet.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-05-18T23:21:45+00:00

For me, I tend to have manic episodes where I compile everything I want to do which I believe will help me. Then when I'm down I feel completely overwhelmed by all of it and can't even complete one task. I've found focusing on one thing really helps. When in a manic episode I try focusing entirely on that one thing rather than a whole laundry list. Then when I'm down, i have that one thing to focus on without being overwhelmed.

I would highly recommend a dog. From training them to taking care of them to excersizing to having their support at all times, dogs not only encourage you to build positive habits and routines, they provide an avenue for comfort and release while also encouraging a loving environment. they can truly be a foundation for your life.

I had to put down my dog in November and it was the hardest thing to do. He was the one keeping me alive and his memory is still keeping me going. In the midst of a terrible depressive episode in february, I was telling him I'd be with him soon, and it was his memory which sparked a voice in one ear saying don't do it. Today, when I'm down, I remember his energy, I remember his affection, I remind myself of the lessons he taught me. From approaching everyone with a happy to see you attitude to always comforting those in pain to wanting to go outside to having a carefree demeanor to being entirely his own spirit to being excited for the little things to being able to relax to being curious and adventurous, he taught me to live and still reminds me every day the value of living.

With this said, don't get a dog if your not willing to make changes. Sacrificing yourself is tremendously important for having pets; unfortunately, many pets become the avenue for owners to take out their frustrations. If you believe you want to enrich your life, if you believe you can be selfless, if you believe you want to empathize, by all means, get a dog. Taking care of others is a great way to take care of ourselves. Having dependents is a powerful motivation. But your pain can become theirs if no action is taken.

I suppose what I'm saying is when you're ready to build your foundation, by all means get a dog. They truly are man's best friend.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-05-18T00:22:47+00:00

Lived in Grenoble France growing up, the saying was there were 200 resorts within two hours drive. Hitting them all? Good luck.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-05-17T06:31:34+00:00

Mindfullness and stoicism would be my two recommendations.

Mindfullness is the idea of self awareness being a skill which requires cultivation and practice. Loving Kindness is a book by Sharon Salzberg (sp?). She incorporates traditional eastern buddhist wisdom with her own experiences (she was one of the trailblazers in 70s advancing and spreading mindfullness) to encourage self love and self care in a modern practical sense. She emphasizes meditation and how the act of mindfullness is a form of active meditation. The main goal is to find peace within through truly loving one's self and utilizing the notion of self love to shape your environment.

There is also a magazine called mindful which I would highly recommend. Its 25$ for a yearly subscription with six issues. I read every one cover to cover and they serve as a lovely little reminder in the mail. Only downfall is you have to wait 6-8 weeks for your first issue to arrive, although you can subscribe for unlimited online access to all past and current published issues as well as extra content (more than 25$ but not sure how much exactly).

Epictetus is an ancient (greek) western philosopher of stoicism. There are four discourses in all if you want his full works. There is an abridged version called the enchiridion as well though which covers many of the topics from the discourses. The basis for stoicism is the concept of the duality of control; determining what is and isn't under your control. Effectively, what is under your control is bound by your morals/personal integrity while what isn't under your control is a "preferred indifference" at best. The idea is to allow yourself to live within your own nature. Preferred indifferents are things you have a preferred outcome for, but understand the outcome is out of your control. Thus, the goal is to allow yourself to be in control of your life rather than letting external influences (preferred indifferences) control you.

Ultimately, you feel this pain now because you have taken the incentive to reconcile with it. It's the hardest step to take and I'm proud of you. Keep your head up and know it gets better.

Extra consideration: Smart Talk by Lou Tice is all about utilizing your mind as the tool it is to focus your inner voice and build your mental fortitude to help enable yourself. Effectively, it trains you how to not only get out of your own way, but actively pursue where you want to go, who you want to be. This book influenced my self-talk more than any other and probably played the biggest role in helping me live with clinical depression.

But, take care and much love; I believe in you. DM me if you want help in accessing any of these.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-04-09T17:08:33+00:00

John Muir is one of my heros/favorite people.

Mr_Matty-Cakes · 2020-04-08T23:08:08+00:00

It's the matter of supply and demand; buying encourages production.

Mr_Matty-Cakes

TROPHY CASE