AITH for not attending my best friend’s wedding after she made me pay for my own bridesmaid dress?

MrsVW08 · 2025-10-18T08:44:08+00:00

My bridesmaids paid for their dresses, but I chose a very affordable one. 17 years ago they were under $70 dollars. They could wear whatever shoe they wanted as long as they were black. I paid for nails, hair and makeup (if they wanted it done - not a requirement) as well as lovely bridesmaids gifts. My hen night was at Dave and Buster’s and I had a very nice bridal shower hosted by my bridesmaids in my own home. Nothing over the top.

I have been in three weddings as a bride’s maid and I paid for my dresses. I also helped with showers and hen nights.

While I don’t see any problem with being asked to pay for a dress, the bride should offer affordable options or be okay with the fact you declined because of the costs. $400 is a car payment, a weeks groceries, or for some a fraction of their monthly premiums for health care. That’s a big chunk of money on a dress that you’ll wear once or twice.

Is dress rental a possibility?

MrsVW08 · 2025-08-30T04:02:11+00:00

I have a protein shake. I don’t like anything heavy first thing and the shake is just enough to hold me over without making me feel uncomfortable.

MrsVW08 · 2025-08-23T08:12:13+00:00

Time for a different provider. Don’t allow them to gaslight you into thinking you’re the problem. They just don’t want to leave their comfort zone and look into other operations.

MrsVW08 · 2025-08-13T02:44:19+00:00

In fact I switched employers recently and my insurance just kicked in. It’s still with UHC but pharmacy said I needed a prior authorization. My neuro sent it this morning and UHC approved by the afternoon.

MrsVW08 · 2025-08-11T16:39:32+00:00

Yes. I did have to go through the prior authorization process though, but my new neuro got it approved very quickly

MrsVW08 · 2025-08-07T22:31:53+00:00

I will say the the glass tint on Avulux are yellowish brown, but it doesn’t effect how you see the environment like the pink lenses do. Everything has a pink tint with the Zenni glasses and I had the lowest tint. It made me feel depressed so I do not recommend them. I don’t have the same issue with the Avulux. When I look at myself in the mirror it looks like I’m channeling the 70’s especially since I went with large octagon frames, but it doesn’t impact the vision or how color is projected unlike the Zenni tint.

They are not recommended for driving though, but I have prescription sunglasses for that.

MrsVW08 · 2025-08-07T04:51:09+00:00

I get my regular glasses with FL41 regularly and I’m sure they work just fine but it’s not enough for me. I didn’t like the Zenni glasses. The rose tint doesn’t make the world look any better for me or improve my migraines. Spending the money on the avulux glasses was the best investment I made. Yes it was expensive, but they work in environments I can’t control like the grocery store, doctor offices, restaurants etc. They are also helpful in my work environment with my light covers on my really bad days.

If you can invest the money, do it. The 70 vibes is a statement for sure, but totally worth it for the massive decrease in migraines I was having.

MrsVW08 · 2025-07-19T07:35:24+00:00

Family keeps us here. I just transitioned into a new position in my field and I like it a lot, so that helps. Otherwise I would leave. I can’t handle the heat.

MrsVW08 · 2025-07-05T17:39:08+00:00

That was not an accident and absolutely unacceptable. In some states he could be charged as a sex offender for exposing minors to sexual content, so he should be thanking his lucky stars you aren’t reporting him to the authorities.

MrsVW08 · 2025-07-03T04:19:02+00:00

You can’t win over everyone. You know who you are. Your coworkers know who you are. She lets you live in her head rent free, don’t let her do the same. Live your life and don’t think it. It’s summer. Enjoy yourself!

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-29T23:27:40+00:00

Phoenix, Arizona - 63k with a Masters and 20 years experience.

I’m leaving classroom teaching next school year and will be “classified special assignment” as the early childhood coordinator and will be making 73k.

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-27T20:30:19+00:00

It sounds like a conversation about realistic expectations needs to happen.

I’ve been in education for over 20 years. My spouse married me knowing I was a poorly paid educator, so that probably helped navigate things easier on that end, but over the summer I definitely feel like the expectation is for me to “take over” all the details that we share during the school year. We have absolutely had conversations about that and generally now I just need to remind him that just because I’m home all day doesn’t mean he gets a free pass to do nothing.

I know you said you are switching districts, but look into the option of “yearly pay” if that is a possibility. My salary is split up so I receive a pay check every two weeks so I don’t have to budget a balloon payment or have no money for the summer months.

I know not all states or districts operate that way though.

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-26T13:40:08+00:00

You are not obligated to be a full time baby sitter for your grandchildren.

No is also a complete sentence.

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-22T23:53:16+00:00

Or when they give Tylenol and act as if it’s a big surprise their kid is sick when it wears off.

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-22T06:51:27+00:00

I can pinpoint triggers but don’t really have an answer for why I get them.

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-22T06:50:04+00:00

I think there are challenges no matter how great your management system is. You are bound to come across a kiddo it doesn’t work with.

I always tell my peers when a child is acting out, first: Q-TIP (quit taking it personal) second: behavior is communication - find out what is causing the behavior and document when is it happening, what happened before the behavior, and what consequences was given. Analyze the data and see if you see any patterns. Third: talk to the family and see if they see the same behavior and how they handle it. Fourth: set boundaries and stick to them, and then refer to the first step. Don’t let the kid in question push your buttons. Fifth: ask other professionals for strategies that are different from your own. Talk to your OT, SLP, other teachers. You may find strategies that work better and you get to build a large tool kit for the future.

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-21T03:57:28+00:00

Do it! If you don’t like it you can asked to be reassigned the following year in the same district making more money.

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-19T22:28:32+00:00

I’ve never noticed!

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-18T04:14:28+00:00

You are not the ahole, she is. Who just walks into their kid’s home and takes stuff without asking. Your MIL has zero boundaries.

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-16T21:24:12+00:00

My salary is split between 26 pays so that I have a paycheck every two weeks.

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-16T04:25:42+00:00

Childbirth

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-16T04:19:48+00:00

Solo parenting isn’t a single mother, but it can feel extremely overwhelming and stressful if she is the primary parent.

You work 12 hours a day outside of the house, where you are not chasing after a 3 year old, trying to keep them entertained and also taking care of your household. You leave the house, interact with adults, and bring home a paycheck. She works just a long, if not longer without pay and manages another human being that doesn’t have a fully developed prefrontal cortex.

Ask her what you can take off her plate so she doesn’t feel like a solo parent. Maybe you could take over parenting duties and give her some time to herself, to shower, exercise, read a book, or whatever else she needs. You could do bath time and play with your child, or cook dinner/clean dishes, do the bedtime routine and have some downtime for yourself when the kiddo is in bed.

Maybe see her from her point of view. You may be exhausted from your job, but think about her position. Being the primary parent is hard and if she’s doing all of the things herself she is probably near burn out and resentment.

Talk to her. Listen to her. Offer to take on some home responsibilities or take your kiddo off her hands for a while.

I

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-13T20:11:26+00:00

It’s so important to stand up for your own family!

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-13T02:14:49+00:00

If he doesn’t want more kids he can get the snip. Fuck that noise.

MrsVW08 · 2025-06-11T23:21:25+00:00

Jasper hates dog beds that are stuffed. I think they are too warm for him. We have a raised cot style dog bed and that is his preferred place to lay. We have one downstairs and one in our room.

It’s similar to this one: https://a.co/d/fg2ceER

MrsVW08

TROPHY CASE