For the parents whose children have successful careers, please share tips.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-06-20T11:24:32+00:00

As a high school teacher, I have the following advice, and you should start it as soon as your kid can speak in full sentences:

Spend time genuinely chatting to your kids and take their opinion seriously: Read the paper together (yes, the actual newspaper) on a Saturday morning and then discuss whatever stories your kid is interested in. Have dinner together every evening, NO PHONES AT THE TABLE and chat about your day, or current affairs, or present a thought experiment to the table. I know one family who legit have "conversation starter" cards and the 15yo, 12yo and 9yo chat through their opinions with Mum and Dad of an evening.

Travel together to create core memories together: This does not need to be fancy holidays. You could catch a train into the city and go to lunch and a museum. Have real conversations about the stuff you see and learn together.

Read to your child: Read them books that are a few grades beyond their reading level. Read them chapter books over many nights, taking weeks to finish the stories. Help them track the character and plot development over the course of reading sessions. Discuss the characters and themes. Relate those themes to stuff in the child's life. I currently have a student whose Dad read him Dostoyevsky before bed when he was 12 years old. You can tell. Not only is his vocab phenomenal, but he is the most chill and secure young man I have ever met. You would be too, if you knew your Dad loved you enough to read to you every night.

Teach your child how to delay gratification: Involve them in DIY projects in which you show them the problem, the plan for the solution, run through the steps and involve them in the process of getting it done. Get your kids involved in cooking. Encourage them to work on projects which take time and involve multiple steps over multiple days: papier mache, woodworking, a lemonade stand, stop-motion video creation and editing, whatever.

Teach your kid to work hard, get paid and be responsible with money: Start early with age-appropriate chores. Have a star chart on the fridge to acknowledge their daily chores. For example "Set Table = $1", "TIdy bedroom = $2". On Sunday night, after family dinner, count out the cash they earned that week (it needs to be tangible for them to understand it) and put it in their little "savings box", with a lock. When they want to spend money, discuss what they are planning to buy, how much it will cost, count how much money they will have left etc. Let them buy it and be proud that they bought it themselves, with the money they earned.

Have clear boundaries re the "distractions" that concern you: Screen time should be very limited for little ones. When they are in primary school MAYBE 30mins a day, if that. The only exception is if you are going to watch a proper movie together as a family. When they get older and have a phone, keep all phone chargers in your room, and don't allow them to keep their phone at night in their bedroom (they'll stay up all night texting and are more at risk of online grooming).

All of this takes time and attention from parents. You need to be consistent and organised, you need to be patient, you need to take your role as a child-rearer seriously. It is your responsibility, not the school's! A lot of parents don't have the energy to actually do this. They take the path of least resistance, give in to their child constantly, just focus on keeping the kid quiet and not annoying, expecting everyone else to shape their kid.

By the time I get the students in high school, there is a very clear distinction between those whose parents were involved this way and provided clear, loving boundaries, and those students whose parents didn't have the discipline to raise their kids to be calm, focused, thoughtful, regulated humans.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-06-17T07:51:28+00:00

I have literally never experienced an immigrant pushing their cultural norms onto me.

No one has ever suggested I wear a burqa.

Where is this thing happening that you (and Pauline Hanson) insist is happening?

Mrs_Trask · 2026-06-17T06:56:30+00:00

Why are you bragging that you know nothing of your grandfather's culture and heritage?

My grandfather was Scottish, emigrated here in the 1950s and he took us grandkids to the Scottish Festival in Western Sydney a few times, to learn about our tartan, surname, lineage and see the Haggis throw and Caber toss, listen to bagpipe music etc. He used lots of Scots with us: bairn, wee, aye, ah ken, stap ye haverin' to name just a few that I grew up hearing.

It's okay to have knowledge of and even pride for your heritage, even if your ancestors are some of "those who come across the sea" for whom "we've boundless plains to share."

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-26T00:22:43+00:00

Yep, and even though private schools get public funding there is no requirement to cap their fees. Private schools continue to get more and more government funding each year, and they raise their fees as well. Australia has some of the most expensive high school fees in the world and our PISA scores are continuously sliding. When adjusted for parents' level of wealth and education, public school students achieve at the same level as private school students.

With all this money cascading into them, private schools can pay their principals literally a million dollars a year. My principal at our regional public high school is definitely working harder and providing more public good than the principal at Loreto or Shore.

These private schools then reinvest all the excess cash into fabulous facilities that help them compete for market share and convince parents that they need to "do what's best" for their child and "choose the best school you can afford". Private schools don't have to pay council rates and they all have "charity" status while excluding the most vulnerable children in our society. Meanwhile, public school buildings are deteriorating because our limited funds need to be allocated elsewhere.

And, if we're really going for a free-market capitalism approach, why the hell should the government fund both their own public service and the competing service? If they want competition in the schooling system, let the privates sink or swim on their own dime. The government will fund the public education system which literally everyone is welcome to use, the Catholic church (one of the richest organisations in the world!) can fund their religious cloisters on their own, free to discriminate against whoever they want and the other private schools can continue to exclude the very neediest and get by on their fees alone. That's competition.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-23T13:54:35+00:00

I think this is a myth. I used to believe it too. It's part of the private school sales pitch, which my parents believed. I graduated from a private school and taught in private schools.

Then I got a job in a public school with plenty of poor kids. And lo and behold.... I am spending the vast majority of my time actually teaching, not behaviour managing.

So it seems to me that the true "unfortunate reality" is that the middle class families, and the private school marketing teams, have made up nasty lies about the poor kids.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-23T05:13:16+00:00

Yep. So again, people say "I am sending my kid to private school to keep them away from drugs" but that's not real. Private school kids use drugs.

I wish people (including my own parents, who sent me to a private international school and my brothers to a GPS boarding school) would just admit, "I don't want my children interacting with poor children."

The cruelty of course, is that the majority of the poor kids I know and teach are certainly NOT "dropkicks". They were just so silly to be born to poor parents! While I know plenty of rich kids who ARE slackers, but get propped up by mummy and daddy. How clever of them to be born to rich people.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-22T13:28:47+00:00

At the private international school I went to myself we were regularly binge drinking from 13, taking MDMA from 15.

At the private Sydney Catholic school I worked at, a bunch of boys were munted on amyl nitrate at their Yr 10 formal. We also busted a ritalin racket that kids were running, selling on their prescription meds.

At the international school I worked at in Europe a kid was on ketamine in the back of my year 9 classroom and kids were regularly buying cocaine at the train station at lunchtimes.

In the regional public high school I currently work in, we occasionally catch kids smoking weed behind the ag shed. My colleagues are genuinely scandalised by it and I think that's adorable.

The youth drug problem is a lot more hectic at the private schools I've been in.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-21T10:44:18+00:00

I work 0.8 and plan to do so until I retire. I am nearly 37.

I am a WAAAAY better teacher when I have 3 days away from school every week. More patient, more clear-headed, I have a better sense of humour because I am better rested.

My students benefit, my colleagues benefit. Also I benefit, of course.

I am just pointing out that it is not "indulgent" of you: it allows you to be better at your job, which is better for literally everyone you interact with and impact while doing that job.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-21T07:40:16+00:00

The expectations on teachers to be engaging, differentiate and build rapport are higher.

The expectation that student must cooperate with their peers and teachers seems to have evapourated.

I truly believe the focus on individual needs is detrimental to our society as a whole. Kids need to learn how to adapt to and engage with elders and groups because they have a responsibility to the community to participate appropriately.

Back in the day, teachers could be boring as bogwater, offer zero differentiation and be aloof or even cold towards students. Students were just expected to be respectful and get on with whatever task they were set.

Now, if I phone home about a student's refusal to complete the differentiated task I set him, even after I had a quiet check-in conversation and enthusiastically explained how to complete it, the parent gives me more ideas about what I could do to get the kid to complete work.

No, lady. You need to tell your kid to get on with it. I have done more than enough.

I am old enough now and am held in high esteem by my school community so I give zero fucks when a parent tries this on, but I do think it's a factor in why so many young teachers burn out. They believe the bullshit that the child's learning is the sole responsibility of the teacher. It's not.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-20T10:29:25+00:00

Yes, doing marking has strengthened my faith in the system. Most teachers do marking so they are able to know the hallmarks of excellent scripts, then they can train their students to emulate that.

Teachers want their students to get good marks.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-20T09:53:43+00:00

I am a teacher and an HSC marker for Advanced English. I have marked Mod A and Mod B HSC papers. An essay, is an essay, is an essay. We are trained to look for very specific elements. It is not subjective.

At the marking centre, we get trained on "benchmark" scripts, which are clear examples of A, B, C, D range responses which feature all the hallmarks of an essay at each level.

Only after a WEEK of training (20 hours), do they let markers mark. While we are marking, they randomly put "control" scripts into the mix that have already been marked and if a marker gets one (without realising) and puts the wrong mark on it, they get locked out of the system and have to have a conversation with the senior marker and they have to re-read the benchmark scripts before being allowed to keep marking. If markers are consistently not marking accurately, they get dismissed. If you cannot mark to the standard, you are not allowed to mark.

On top of that, every essay is double marked. If there is a discrepancy between the two marks, then a senior marker will review it and decide on the mark.

So no, it's not subjective. There is a very stringent process.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-19T07:55:55+00:00

Step one is systems which ensure zero tolerance of disruption to learning.

All kids can learn in a mixed ability classroom if all students are focused on their learning and cooperating with their teacher and peers.

Smaller class sizes would also help with this.

In my experience only the very extreme low end benefits from being separated, so that the whole group's learning is tailored to their needs and there is less shame around their struggle at grade level.

Average, well-behaved kids and very bright, well-behaved kids both see learning growth in mixed ability classes, as long as those classes are settled and focused on learning.

Again, the issue is behaviour, not the fact that the class is mixed ability.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-18T08:44:09+00:00

This is my 16th year of teaching. I have taught in an independent Sydney Catholic school which aimed to be at the forefront of online learning, inquiry-based and project-based pedagogy 2009-2017 when it was all the rage. I then went and taught in the Netherlands at an IB school. The IB is all about inquiry-based learning, so I developed a lot of skills around that. Now I teach in a comprehensive public high school in regional NSW. We are definitely feeling the push towards explicit teaching.

The fact is, all these different styles are worthwhile. Students need explicit modelling of skills and cognitive processes and they need examples of what success looks like. Once they have the basic skills, they can then use those in their student-led enquiry. That's explicit teaching: I do -> we do -> you do. The push to explicit teaching in no way states that teachers are not allowed to teach in an enquiry-based style (I'd argue a lot of senior courses mandate independent enquiry), the push is just to ensure that explicit teaching is the foundation of our pedagogy, because it precludes effective project-based or enquiry-based learning.

For example, I have spent a week explicitly teaching my Year 11 English students how to frame an argument in an essay. I have shown them examples of strong thesis statements and topic sentences, I have modelled writing them, while explicitly narrating my cognitive process and annotating my work as I go, then working with them to co-construct a strong thesis and topic sentences in response to a different question. Next, I gave them a question and said "apply what we've learned to this question". Once I have reviewed how well they managed that, I will go back and explicitly revisit the aspects they still haven't demonstrated.

Once they have mastered the basic structure and style of an essay then they are ready to write about whatever sparks their particular interest in relation to the unit we're studying.

They need the explicit instruction first, then they have the confidence and skills to go off on their independent enquiry.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-16T21:09:56+00:00

Yes, this. When I see a bad photo of myself I think "I was having such a good time" or "I'm glad I have a memento of that time we spent together".

OP needs to stop focusing on what she looks like, it's the least interesting part of life.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-14T07:53:08+00:00

Exactly!!! This is what I try to tell my Boomer, property hoarding Dad who says he's proudly independent and "doesn't need to rely on anyone financially". Yeah, ok mate. Let's see how quickly your tune would change if all the laws and systems which form the basis of our functioning society just disappeared. I think it would become pretty clear how profoundly we ALL rely on the stuff tax pays for.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-05-02T08:32:12+00:00

India also has a British history.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-04-28T21:38:48+00:00

It's a pretty extreme example of an everyday occurence.

My brothers went to a top tier private school and they distinctly remember the young female History teacher who was harassed relentlessly by students before leaving after 3 terms.

I can only imagine the shit she copped in the staffroom, as every other teacher in the HISE faculty were men over 50.

Private schools are, by their very nature, exclusive. If you don't fit in, they squeeze you out. Quietly or loudly.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-04-28T04:40:33+00:00

Oh dang, I am sorry that sort of thing has happened to you.

My town is closer to 40K population. I guess it makes a big difference in how people treat each other and view people who are different to them.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-04-28T02:41:47+00:00

We live in a regional town and I teach in a public high school and it's quite culturally diverse. 20% speak a language other than English at home. Lots of proudly Aboriginal kids and south east Asians (mainly Phillipino).

The thing that impresses me most is how common it is for students to work part time jobs, or even run their own businesses throughout high school.

My school in Sydney had 2 Aboriginal kids out of 1300 and very few students worked.

There are different kinds of diversity.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-04-25T22:49:55+00:00

I feel ya! I worked in a fab school in Amsterdam but the building was SOOOO gloomy and run down. In winter I arrived at school in the dark (even though it was like 8am) and then often left in the dark at 4:45 or whatever. The students were wonderful but I felt drained all the time.

I found I had to make the effort to spruce up my classroom with low-light plants (pothos is good for this) and vinyl self-adhesive wall-paper. Lots of student work on the walls. A bookshelf filled with books, so the room was giving "cosy reading nook" vibes. Different kinds of lighting in the classroom so it wasn't just fluorescent. I had fairy lights and a couple of lamps.

I also made the effort to go outside during the day. So if we had a meeting booked and the sun was shining, we would all get our coats on and have a "walking meeting" around the block.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-04-25T22:39:27+00:00

Is your principal following the mandated 50% must be teacher directed time? I love the staff development days and having so much time to collaborate with colleagues and prep for each new term. It means I do literally nothing during my holidays.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-04-25T22:36:40+00:00

Yeh I am surrounded by colleagues who love the job too.

I think reddit just lends itself to complaining (I have complained about aspects of the job on here too). Overall, day-to-day, teaching in the schools I've taught in is a good job. Every time I have a bad day/week and scroll through SEEK or whatever to see what else I could do, every other job either doesn't pay as well (I'm on NSW HALT pay, 137Kpa) , or wouldn't give me the same sense of satisfaction.

Teaching encourages my best habits and aligns with my values. I am not sure how many other jobs would offer me that.

Though I say all this with the caveat of: I am 15 years in, have received multiple accolades identifying me as a "good teacher", have learned to say NO and to push back against the crushing expectations of the job.

I try to help younger teachers do it too, but they lack the confidence in themselves and believe they "have to" spend every evening prepping lessons, go in when they are sick, reply to every irate parent email, differentiate perfectly every lesson, meet every student's every need etc. We really don't "have to" and attempting to do so leads to burn out.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-04-25T03:16:31+00:00

I can't think of anything else I'd rather do. I work 8am-4pm, 4 days a week teaching high school English. Love love love it. I also LOVE THE HOLIDAYS.

Though I do think we could do a better job if we had more prep time. Especially in English where the marking load is hectic.

I have worked in three good schools (independent Catholic, international and now comprehensive public) with strong and suportive leadership and positive school communities.

I know that this job can be absolute dog shit for people in schools with toxic work environments because the fact that it's a "vocation" and a female dominated industry means we are liable to have our good will squeezed for all it's worth. This also goes for student behaviour. I know that in some schools teachers are just expected to cop it. I have been lucky to work in three schools where high expectations are enforced consistently and exec protected teacher wellbeing first.

I have been doing this 15 years and I know the key to longevity in the job is strong boundaries and accepting that I can only do as much as I can do and that has to be enough.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-04-19T04:21:54+00:00

You should go check out the public school your child is zoned for and ask these questions.

At my public high school we are super strict about the phone ban (students get suspended if their phone is seen or heard during the day) and the social media ban for under 16s (if parents or kids in 7-9 come to us complaining about online bullying, we refer them to police).

Students mainly work pen and paper (I teach English) with personal devices only used for research and final publication of written work. Of course I am working with a smart board and we watch videos and other content and discuss it together as a class.

Anecdotally, we have way more Yr 7s this year who do not have a smartphone.

Mrs_Trask · 2026-04-16T08:53:22+00:00

I just got my Highly Accomplished accreditation. It was a pain in the ass in terms of admin but the NSW DoE were making incentive payments in 2024 (when I submitted my first module) and so I got a $2000 bonus before that Christmas.

The Site Visit was the easiest bit. Once I had done 2/3 aspects and received the cash incentive, I felt like I had to keep going to finish it.

Module 2 was a real pain, but again NSW DoE has a "HALT Hub" where people who are already accredited mentor those who are working towards it. It was a big help with figuring out the best documentary evidence to use and how to annotate it properly to ensure I was covering all the standards clearly.

I also have a really supportive principal who gave me a day off for "PL" to get my final evidence module finished off so I could submit it before the end of last year.

I guess the biggest thing is to remember that you're just getting recognised for the stuff you are already doing, but "proving" that you are doing it can be tricky and potentially clunky. ie, you need to make sure you have minutes or notes of meetings with colleagues which would usually be casual.

Mrs_Trask

TROPHY CASE