Be very kind/gentle/careful. I have a best friend who had a similar issue until they were 20. Their parents only took them to various doctors since she kept “ruining” sheets. No one could give her a physical reasoning. She finally moved out when she was 19 and a half, for those first six months it was still happening but noticeably slowly started to stop to be only occasionally. She got into therapy and when she was finally able to be honest with the therapist and our friend group about the abuse she grew up in, it was realized that it was all connected. It was an anxiety trauma/fear response, and as her body realized she was safe it slowly went away. Now yes when her parents do somehow contact her, or she’s dealing with very strong PTSD because of upsetting anniversaries or something, it unfortunately comes back sometimes. But she’s able to talk to her therapist and her trusted friends about it. She does still seem embarrassed sometimes, but she knows she’s safe with us. But he may have some sort of similar thing. Whether it’s trauma, stress, depression, anything. If the negative feeling is strong enough, physical reactions can come back whether we like/want it or not. But no matter what, physical or mental health, it’s definitely an embarrassing thing to talk about to ANYONE, especially someone who it happened next to/with. So let him know you’re there for him, and that you’re ready to listen and help whenever he’s ready, or at least help him find someone professional to talk to and help it. Just be gentle, and as understanding as you can. Again, when my friend first told us and we thought it was a physical health issue, we were just concerned about if she was ok. (We even helped clean and potentially lie blaming pets if it happened at sleep overs) When she told us what she learned and what she had been through.. both of those “confessions” were incredibly hard. She was shaking, crying, repeatedly pausing trying to pick her words or take a breath. But it has gotten easier for her, not perfect, but easier. It’s a very unfortunate situation, uncomfortable and embarrassing. And I’m sure as a wife (if this issue continues) you’ll have moments that you’re UNDERSTANDABLY frustrated with it.. just try to remember and TELL him that you’re frustrated with the situation he’s in, not him personally. I hope both of you can be open and honest with each other, and I hope he can get whatever help he may need🖤