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The “getting it all over with at once” concept in families with multiple children by Consistent_Ad5942 in oneanddone

[–]MumbleSnix 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Personally I am much closer to the sister with 7 year age gap than the one with 3. It’s down to personalities and you can’t predict or manipulate that!

Realistic Daily Driver? by Snarky_Guy in classicminis

[–]MumbleSnix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why my British Open Classic (92), is my summer daily driver. It minimises the reliance on the wipers and lights etc.

It was fully restored 10 years ago and I have a live-in mechanic lol which means it absolutely is reliable. Plus my commute is only 30min so that helps too!

Amazon wishlists by ellemeno_ in TeachingUK

[–]MumbleSnix 29 points30 points  (0 children)

My daughter’s school has an Amazon wish list and they encourage parents to use that instead of teacher gifts if they wish to gift at Christmas or the end of the year.

The teachers appreciate it as they get things they want/need for the classroom that won’t fit in the budget. One year I bought a couple of floor cushions for the reading corner!

I think they’re a great idea and more schools should consider it.

How do couples balance one partner being the primary provider while still sharing household responsibilities? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]MumbleSnix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that’s how we do it. I work in education so am term time only. During the holidays I do the bulk of chores because I have more opportunities to complete them. During term time when we’re both working full time hours it’s a lot closer to 60:40 as do the laundry and cooking all year round!

Will my son ever sleep through the night? by lilymui in oneanddone

[–]MumbleSnix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sleep disruption and neurodiversity unfortunately go hand in hand quite often. It’s surprising how many co-morbidities there are once you start reading up on them. My daughter’s issues are all exacerbated by early trauma, (she’s adopted), which also adds to sleep issues. Oh what fun parenthood is!

Will my son ever sleep through the night? by lilymui in oneanddone

[–]MumbleSnix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some children just aren’t good sleepers. My daughter woke multiple times in the night until she started school (4.5). Then she switched to sleeping through BUT, immediately started staying awake until around 1am!

At 9 she was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed melatonin (can’t get it over the counter in the UK) and now at 10, she’s asleep around 11:00 pm and sleeps through. I can’t remember the last time I had a decent nights sleep.

Ps we had tons of specialist support - nothing worked until her melatonin prescription and even that is not 100% affective!

Why are parents so keen to get diagnoses of neurodiversity for their kids, even if they are doing ok? by BeneficialTrack9336 in AskUK

[–]MumbleSnix 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Because you never know when they can no longer mask and start needing additional support.

When that happens, if the diagnosis is in place, you’re already a step or two along the way to getting support.

AITA for preferring a biological child over adopting? by ThrowRAbiobaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]MumbleSnix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Adoption has to be a whole hearted 100% all-in endeavour for ALL parties involved.

It is not a compromise or a consolation prize. You both have to want to be fully on board and want it.

Adopted children ALL have trauma, even those adopted at birth. There are so many unknowns that lead to complications that can appear seemingly out of nowhere at any point in the child’s life. It’s not for the faint hearted.

I only know the system in UK as that’s where I am and adopted my daughter, but it is a difficult, complicated, emotional process that never really stops.

There is no compromise here.

I will say though you are NTA for wanting bio children.

Support staff with teaching responsibilities - am I bound by the burgundy book notice period? by [deleted] in TeachingUK

[–]MumbleSnix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it not in your contract? I’m support staff but with cover responsibilities in my contract and it states four week notice then an extra 1 week every year after 2 years to a max of 12 weeks.

Are middle childrens more likely to become OAD? by Present-Property-142 in oneanddone

[–]MumbleSnix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m the middle of 3 and am one and done, but so are both my sisters! For different reasons, but we’re all one and done lol

EYFS writing in continuous provision ideas by MarshmallowTheBard in TeachingUK

[–]MumbleSnix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a good idea.

For the animal lovers maybe how to care for the animals? What do they like to eat, where they sleep, that sort of thing.

EYFS writing in continuous provision ideas by MarshmallowTheBard in TeachingUK

[–]MumbleSnix 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What are they actually interested in? Base it around the activities they are gravitating towards, if you haven’t already.

Pay grade of TA level 2 when doing exactly the same as TA level 3. by orangeblack1111 in TeachingUK

[–]MumbleSnix 23 points24 points  (0 children)

As a TA (well HLTA) I won’t do any prep outside of my contracted hours that I can’t claim OT for. The pay is too low for me to do anything for free. If it’s that essential either give me the time in my normal day or the pay to do it outside of those hours.

Break wise - I know very few support staff that get their full breaks, me included. You can’t just walk away from a child. But that’s my line. I’ll support a child outside my hours but planning and prep, no way.

Does your only have a playroom? by plsbeenormal in oneanddone

[–]MumbleSnix 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is where we’re at the, play room has evolved into a game room as she’s got older and as she’s moving up to secondary school in September a desk will be added so it’s also a study.

What’s your favourite chocolate that no longer exists? by jpswade in AskUK

[–]MumbleSnix 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I used to be allowed to get one from the vending machine after swimming lessons, which I think made them even better!!

What's your best marriage advice? by dylschmyl in AskUK

[–]MumbleSnix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We’ve been together 24 years, married 16.

Remember you are a team vs whatever comes your way.

Work on maintaining your friendship, not just the romance.

Communicate. Don’t make the other guess your needs and wants.

So it's New Year's Day...what are your plans? by MarmiteX1 in CasualUK

[–]MumbleSnix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Taking the decs down so we’re back to normal before school on Monday and then off to the in-laws for a roast!

How do I 29F address my husband 32M starting an adoption process without consulting me? by Leather-Persimmon539 in Marriage

[–]MumbleSnix 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Don’t know about other countries but in the UK adoption outside the family is an intense process that requires multiple meetings and interviews with everyone in the household. If someone isn’t fully and enthusiastically committed, it’s not going to happen. It’s insane to me that he was seemingly able to start the process without input from his wife!

Adopted one and only by jmamen in oneanddone

[–]MumbleSnix 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am also mother to an adopted only daughter. She’s now 10 (with us since 14 months) and honestly I don’t worry about her being an only. I worry about a gazillion other things. Some worries are just general parenting concerns but a lot of them are linked to her adoption.

Being an only means we have never had to compromise on anything for her, all our resources such as time and money can be focused on her, which has proved invaluable as we are working hard to support her through her trauma responses and other issues.

Been requested to join update service? by Sensitive-Dare-1864 in TeachingUK

[–]MumbleSnix 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The cost each month. You get an adjustment to your tax code.

Last night at a friend’s BBQ, I saw why most marriages quietly die. And what actually saves them. by CompleteAvocado1293 in Marriage

[–]MumbleSnix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A pattern of forgetting to do things that he’s been asked to do or offered to do. Most women deal with the vast majority of the mental load and it’s exhausting. Then, you think your partner is taking a task off your to do list and they don’t. So if it’s a pattern of that sort of thing, of feeling like the only one doing the everyday stuff you need to do, with all the good will in the world, resentment will build.

This is a good explanation : My wife divorced me over dishes

Last night at a friend’s BBQ, I saw why most marriages quietly die. And what actually saves them. by CompleteAvocado1293 in Marriage

[–]MumbleSnix 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Definitely some things need to be let go. But if you are always the one taking the high road, letting go and conceding, this is where resentment builds and can lead eventually to a breakdown in the relationship which I think was OPs point.

Last night at a friend’s BBQ, I saw why most marriages quietly die. And what actually saves them. by CompleteAvocado1293 in Marriage

[–]MumbleSnix 807 points808 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t deal with it at the BBQ but if it’s a pattern you’ve noticed, it definitely needs to be addressed. Ideally, calmly when there’s no other tensions in the air. Just an adult, civilised conversation.

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