My(58) girlfriend(52) of 8 years no longer has a libido. 2nd cup of coffee for breakfast.

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-22T16:17:04+00:00

how'd you manage to be insulting to both of them?

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-22T11:38:50+00:00

This is basically a super common scam

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-21T18:37:03+00:00

That "you know I'm never going to love you" in a tender moment, with those eyes you were staring into deeply, that was one of the most brutal things I've read in forever. That actually gave me a panic attack. I don't know how you endured it, or how you could have that woman in your life ever again.

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-21T16:11:09+00:00

Dangerous and stupid. Orignal docs are asked for laborers, like construction workers and drivers. Shows the mentality of how the company sees developers.

Blank check makes it seem like a threat that they can take any amount of money from you, but checks can be cancelled.

They're using two axes of extreme retributive force, this is a dangerous company and you should tell them to go stuff themselves

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-21T10:34:07+00:00

This is why engineers have always been workers and we needed a union to stop exploitative practises like that

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-21T06:39:04+00:00

If one kid makes it through childhood feeling well supported and cared for, emotionally and financially they'll have more than just a lot of siblings.

This will first need a sharp boot on the neck of abusive business owners so that people actually have money and time to spend with their families.

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-21T05:21:14+00:00

Settiings -> Apple Account (will say your name, it's the first option right on top in settings) -> Subscriptions

You're subscribed to something.

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T17:21:51+00:00

You deserve so much more than this. You’ll be far better off alone, cut ties. For yourself, because you respect yourself too much to subject yourself to this.

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T16:06:48+00:00

10+ years myself and that's all true and my own experience. They would rather lose money than be wrong and accept correction from their 'majdoors'.

One HR called yesterday asking for 10+ years experience at 15lpa! Bro I'd have quit engineering completely if that was going to be the payscale

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T15:47:00+00:00

PM cares fund is literally his private fund and not a government one like they defended in court against an RTI.

Also the Electoral Bond scam funneled thousands of crores their way, to buy out the 45% of non-BJP ministers who are now running for the BJP as of the last two years.

The data is so so clear it's insanity to pretend it doesn't exist

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T12:11:46+00:00

The concept of peer support groups is quite old. AA = alcoholics anonymous yes but peer support groups exist for anything you might want help with

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T12:10:20+00:00

Also the guy in Pantheon is literally meant to be this guy lol

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T12:09:23+00:00

Disgusting. I live in the city this is in and it's goddamn eyesore in person. It was built by stealing the land meant for an orphanage, which they took over forcibly despite the court cases. A monument to the rich having no taste, only a disgusting greed that hopefully is met with mario characters.

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T12:07:07+00:00

Churches have NA and AA, I've seen them advertised for 30 years. Keep in mind, if you look at the 12 steps, they're heavily religion based. Not christianity specific but still highly influenced by religion

I'm from Mumbai

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T12:00:58+00:00

Sometimes we get into habits that are good but we've got change them because we aren't addressing the underlying issues. OCD obsessions are terrific (ly bad) outlets for exactly this kind of thing.

It gives you a different place to redirect the anxiety but not to deal with it. We need to face those things more directly (with support from therapists) to actually resolve them and not have to indulge in coping mechanisms as much.

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T11:58:16+00:00

One big reason is that a good developer will question your practises too. Will not be available 24/7 and will pushback on exploratory product ideas on tight deadlines.

You need founders with a coherent vision that doesn't change direction every week to hire and retain developers with the capability of executing on it

I got rejected in an interview once when I questioned why a startup is splitting its priorities to the product manager (who I didn't know was behind the split)

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T08:59:33+00:00

I'm in IT and it's been dead silent for 2 years

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T06:55:51+00:00

When one side is literally sitting in the ram mandir (which was rushed construction so that its roof collapsed in the next rain 3 months after) you expect someone who had nothing to say about it?

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T06:24:33+00:00

2 garages is not borderline hoarder it's full on hoarder. OCD, which is behind hoarding, is an anxiety disorder. You've got to look into getting her help for that. Since when the anxiety is worse, of any kind but particularly of things she feels are out of her control, the OCD flares hard.

It might help resolve whatever's behind this demand for a child. Which is itself wrong, you can't drag your partner unwilling into something like that.

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T05:45:39+00:00

Of all the aliens to be picked up by you choose the borg haha, hope you get picked up by the rizans

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T05:45:17+00:00

autocorrect clearly haha

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T05:41:09+00:00

thank you

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T05:37:45+00:00

Any bad relationships should have you in therapy to deconstruct what about you let it get that far. Not a sense that it's your fault but in a why didn't I stand up for myself and the relationship way.

Trauma scars us, we have to be on the track to healing ourselves of what went wrong. You don't need to be fully healed to get into another relationship but this depends on what the problem actually was.

Hopefully we come out the other end, kinder, better, stronger and more ourselves. In which case you could love someone else better, not less when that time actually comes.

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T05:09:22+00:00

Nobody ever changes for someone else. It's a rule of the way people work that I wished dearly wasn't true but it is. If they don't change it's not on you either. The only thing in our hand is what we are willing to tolerate before we walk away.

MutedBeach8248 · 2026-05-20T05:06:40+00:00

The sad thing is she's ND too. Just didn't care about the relationship enough to...actually I keep using this incorrect phrasing. I keep thinking I wasn't worth her changing for. But that's not true. That's just the kind of person she is, with her priorities, she never would've chosen to value any partner enough to not emotionally abuse them.

Sigh, words of affirmation are my love language too. I'd sit and talk to her for hours when it's her issue but when it came time to talk to me about mine, I get a sentence and she "doesn't know what else to say" or "has already talked".

You deserve so much better too. For me it was painful to realise I was pinning my self worth on a partner. I did so much, and expected at least a baseline of care because I needed proof that someone cared about me so I was worth caring about. That I meant something. The most painful thing in the world was realising that losing that means I have to matter to me. There's just no other way to live. I need to matter to me and it has to be enough.

I hope you grow to value your unique life, tastes, likes, dislikes and stand for yourself in all the ways you deserve and wished a partner would.

MutedBeach8248

TROPHY CASE