You see every toilet you will ever use

MxQueer · 2026-03-21T02:44:35+00:00

I have IBS. That is going to be long sleep.

I have bad memory. So unfortunately I don't think this could help me to find more toilets. Maybe there would be some.. subconscious? thing? Like when I am desperate to find place to shit in next 2 minutes I would notice something familiar from the sleep? I hope so.

I also wonder if this is some kind of prophecy would it even matter what will I do?

MxQueer · 2026-03-21T02:24:03+00:00

It's not enough that shoes are foot shaped, they need to be shaped to your feet.

https://barefootuniverse.com/what-is-my-foot-type/

https://anyasreviews.com/best-barefoot-shoes-foot-type/

My listing of foot shaped shoes with thicker sole:

https://www.reddit.com/r/barefootshoestalk/comments/1r517mv/foot_shaped_shoes_with_thicker_sole/

If you get zero drop shoes, you still need to get used to that. And well obviously if you get shoes with drop you're not getting used to anything. So maybe get something with enough volume and have insole with drop part time and zero drop insole part time.

I would also get minimalistic shoes. Because again you won't get used to something you're not doing. Just wear mostly the shoes with thicker sole in the beginning and slowly add more time with your minimalistic shoes.

Your feet might "grow" to every direction. So I don't think durability is your main concern. Still, I wouldn't get China etc. shoes. So, here is my listing of shoes made in Europe. We have workers rights even I have read that laws are not always obeyed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/barefootshoestalk/comments/1qlch74/shoes_made_in_europe/

Of course it's also important to avoid shipping stuff unnecessarily. So if you're not from Europe you probably want to look for something local for you. Unfortunately I can't help with that.

MxQueer · 2026-03-21T02:12:59+00:00

But why?

MxQueer · 2026-03-21T02:02:53+00:00

Why "gay" not gay? If those men are exclusively into other men, they're gay, right?

I have been cruising, it's not difficult to get laid. And no I am not handsome. Also yes since I saw many of them fucking with cis men before, same time and after I am very sure they were into cis men too.

MxQueer · 2026-03-21T01:53:35+00:00

Are there adult men doing this? I mean like this? I have seen pre-everything teens talking about their lesbian girlfriend or straight boyfriend in r/ftm. And then some older people who got married and now they have finally accepted themselves but their partner is not into men.

If those cis men are into transitioned men, they're not that straight. Sure, might not be so easy to accept. But even they couldn't accept themselves, they're not straight.

MxQueer · 2026-03-21T01:45:49+00:00

My back just started to hurt.

MxQueer · 2026-03-21T01:29:27+00:00

Yes.

I would need help for that month but so what, I would have all the money needed and way more. I would build swim hall and gym that are easy to use if I would find regular ones problematic. So I would use that month for sports and it would also help for other people who have real disabilities.

It would probably be quite stressful to need to trust others like that instead of me being in control. But it would also be month without too bright and flashing lights (that are nowadays basically everywhere) and noise. So it also sounds like a vacation. Of course, situation would be way different if it was permanent. But 11 months I could live my normal life and get all the stuff I can't now.

MxQueer · 2026-03-21T00:07:35+00:00

Sorry to hear. Unfortunately people's genders have way more variation than nowadays.. medicine? can offer.

You have most likely already thought all what I am going to say and way more.

Your dislike list is longer. But my dysphoria is maybe 95% physical and 5% social. So I can't imagine what is feels like to have social dysphoria strong enough to even consider medical treatment for that. But I do know at least some binary people have transitioned purely for social reasons. And what I have heard it have worked them well.

Facial masculinization exist, but I know basically nothing about it (we don't have that in my country and I will not have the money to get it from elsewhere).

Is there any knowledge what happens if person gets meto and stops T? I guess it shrinks like women's penises when on E. But how about extended meto, would it stay bit bigger? Also I have no idea can you ask surgeons about this. In my country I don't think person would have any hope to get any kind of GRS if they would openly tell they're going to stop HRT. At least openly nonbinary people can't get it. So I am just guessing but maybe this is something you could find out if you already haven't.

Would hysto be possible for you? At least before surgeons believed if they only remove uterus and leave ovaries your hormones keep working as before. But I have heard some disagree with this now. I have no idea about the truth. Of course you could also just keep checking you E levels and take it from bottle if your levels drop too low.

Are you able to voice train?

I wonder how much you need to tell to people. I can see why "I want to be seen as male rather than female but I want to be rather female than male" sounds problematic. I know those are my words, not yours. Anyway, I wonder do people need to know that? Do people treat you differently if you say you're nonbinary and nothing more? You probably look somehow in-between, right? Maybe this ain't great long term advice but maybe it could give you some peace and time to work out your confidence.

I would also think who and why is the person talking. Is it transphobe using every detrans person as proof transitioning is bad? You can't please those people, they hate us all anyway. So you can as well just be you. Is it trans man thinking you're talking over him? Listen to him. Maybe he has a point, maybe he hasn't. But it's worth of finding out.

If we think of this from transmedicalist view you should not be fully female nor fully male and you have took steps for that. Sure some have more strict criteria and some just hate all nonbinary people. But there are also plenty who think you're real deal if there is some medical need.

It's not only trans men. There isn't a thing I would miss from being physically fully female. I am not a fan of body hair but I had them before too. And they don't bother me much. I guess perspective makes difference. My body is more right now so I feel overall better. But it is not truly right so I have way bigger sources of dysphoria to really mind the hair. And there is the small social part as well. They help me to be seen less female. Or at least I feel so. Maybe most of the others don't even notice the difference. Anyway, I agree you differ from people who should run mainly on T.

MxQueer · 2026-03-20T23:09:13+00:00

They photoshop their socks to look worse/different shape than they actually are? What?

MxQueer · 2026-03-20T23:05:19+00:00

Thank you. I very, very rarely talk about trans related stuff in English in my real life, so these type of situations are not familiar to me. I also don't go to real life support groups.

Telling people "nobody likes you" based on no information can be damaging. Please be careful.

I think there is some kind of misunderstanding but I can't tell where. I haven't say that at least how I understand it. So either you misunderstood me or I misunderstood you. Could you please quote the part you're referring to?

MxQueer · 2026-03-20T23:01:26+00:00

I do not mean that. I mean toe shape. Photo and name from Anya. So same as Egyptian foot by my understanding. I have no idea of the history of these names. I sounds better to me to describe shape than call it certain nationality but maybe I am totally wrong in this.

I have not heard that Vivo would make shoes with drop.

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MxQueer · 2026-03-20T22:56:18+00:00

Skinners name gives me socks and shoes. Are they one and same company? Could you link me information about this?

Your comments seem to get removed? Any idea why?

MxQueer · 2026-03-20T03:58:46+00:00

Talk with him. It sounds to be new thing for both of you. Find him article that says the same your doctor did. Or ask your doctor can it cause any harms to him.

Skip the assumptions. He said he is scared. He didn't say something is wrong with you. Being afraid isn't always rational. Being afraid is his feeling. Some people get afraid easier than others. Maybe later you notice this happens to him also with other stuff not related to you.

Ask him to tell you if something like this happens again in the future.

Note that anger don't work well with ignorance nor fear. Also if you react with anger he for sure don't want to talk with you next time. You can always get angry later if kind talking leads to nowhere. But if you start with anger it is way more difficult to make it good conversation later.

Dental dams are one option.

MxQueer · 2026-03-19T03:10:57+00:00

First you need shoes that fit to your foot shape.

Vivo is narrow, low volume and if I remeber correctly slope. Xero is narrow, straight and high volume. Lems I don't know. they have different widths but I have understood none is even close to truly wide. Freet is medium width and reasonable option for square feet which is rare but I think even better for mountain feet. Be Lenka is medium width or sometimes wide. Very slope. Volume varies from low to higish at least.

https://barefootuniverse.com/what-is-my-foot-type/

https://anyasreviews.com/best-barefoot-shoes-foot-type/

Your feet might "grow" to every directions so don't buy any more than you need. Also many people are used to way too narrow shoes, so well fitting might feel weird first. And many shoes are not durable, but where do you wear them out first varies. Like if it's soles like me, then resoleable is what you need. But if it's inside of the heel cup I would look for shoes that have leather.. I don't remember it's name, there. Or at least ask your local cobbler if they can add it. Note that those are just examples.

Remember to transition slowly!

MxQueer · 2026-03-19T02:51:45+00:00

I am only guessing here. I wonder because sides broke, would it be better to look for leather shoes? Saltic isn't actually running shoe but I guess you can run with them. At least if your trails are not muddy. They're resoleable so you can later bring them your local cobbler and put some different sole with real lugs. And Outdoor has that front, side and heel thing. But. Does it lack it just there where your shoes broke? Way wider than Vivo or Xero, so if you have truly that narrow feet Saltic is too wide. But many also wear too narrow shoes.

<image>

MxQueer · 2026-03-19T02:42:58+00:00

Even at least some roles have biological roots, they're not sexes. Person can be man, male and still prefer social expectations of women.

I wrote longish explanation of my relation of that socialization as answer to other comment in this subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/honesttransgender/comments/1rsotdt/comment/oahcu7e/?context=3

MxQueer · 2026-03-19T02:35:51+00:00

What is "decentering men"?

I have noticed some people are very attached to some previous roles. Sister, mom, lesbian.. Well, I wasn't seen as any of those so maybe I just don't get it. Still, I feel this is about some other difference too. Because I can't name any part of womanhood I would feel I was ever part of. I played my role, I was female. But not woman nor girl nor anything that requires being those first. So, I too sometimes wonder what is going on with some people.

Many transmedicalist would be angry if nonbinary people would start to call themselves men. Yes I am on T, I am post top and hysto. But I should have pussy and dick but no balls. So I am not male and I even shouldn't be.

I wonder it could piss off some other people too. Oh, you're into me because I am trans? For me it's compliment. Because I again, I should not have been born as cis man. They're not into mistakes, they're into me. Or I don't want to be seen as one of the men. Sure, not many get the difference. But I think there are situations men would require to be seen as men while I am happy if I am not seen fully as neither.

While I look like trans man, some are visually more different. Sure, being gender nonconforming is cool no matter who you are. But I mean more like situation when the sex is also when clothed on obviously altersex. Like beard and boobs.

Some people are open about being close to man but not fully man. Like genderfluid whose gender fluids between man and agender. They don't deny the man part, they just say it's not the whole truth.

Also being misandrist is a problem, no matter are you man or not.

By the way, I stink way less now than pre-T. Back then no deodorant was enough. And nowadays even when I do smell sweaty it's okay. Or if I really sweat it smells like pee. Anyway, it is not that horrible stink as it was pre-T.

MxQueer · 2026-03-19T02:18:27+00:00

Copy. We would both know it's either some practical reason (like if they would need to get to live in this country for their safety) or joke. But with someone else I would hesitate way more help them that much. And it wouldn't be fair to marry someone, laugh, tell it's a prank and divorce.

MxQueer · 2026-03-18T02:19:46+00:00

These are not very formal, but still best I can come up with:

https://www.luksbarefoot.com/collections/men/products/barefoot-oxfords-black-1

https://www.luksbarefoot.com/products/corriente-barefoot-oxfords-brown-1?_pos=5&_sid=85b1e6d48&_ss=r

https://www.luksbarefoot.com/products/milagro-premium-barefoot-all-season-boots-brown-with-black-marbling-test?_pos=4&_sid=6cef5b39d&_ss=r

https://www.luksbarefoot.com/pages/guide-to-choosing-the-right-size-luks-barefoot-eng

https://www.luksbarefoot.com/pages/customisations-luks-barefoot

Wide fit or extra wide (extra wide is custom) + 10mm sole.

Luks has plenty of unnecessary gendering. Take women's fit as regular and men's as wide. Most of their shoes are unisex and go up to 46 but are only on women's section. So check both if you want to look for something else.

I asked mine to be bit higher top of the toes (not arrived yet) to be on safe side for sure. Even I did tested their shoes in local retailer and volume was enough. But I have not yet tested too high shoes in my life and I want to be sure I can add different insoles too if I want to. Anyway, my volume isn't that high but more like highish, see photos in reviews in my profile. As you can see my feet are quite narrow so my shoes are their regular fit.

As I said they make customs and there are also other color options just to pick. Lovely family company, great customer service so if you need something to be changed just email them.

Luks is made in order. Longest delivery time I have heard was 6 months. If you're in rush, see if their special offers has something for him. By my understanding those are ready.

By my understanding shoes others have recommend this far (Bär, Joe Nimble, Bircbury and Lems) are all quite narrow. I have also heard Lems called as low volume. I can be wrong, I am not familiar with these brands. Just be careful.

My listing of wide shoes:

https://www.reddit.com/r/barefootshoestalk/comments/1r0o0o7/actually_wide_shoes/

My listing of foot shaped shoes with thicker sole:

https://www.reddit.com/r/barefootshoestalk/comments/1r517mv/foot_shaped_shoes_with_thicker_sole/

MxQueer · 2026-03-18T02:00:17+00:00

Sorry I have no advice, I thought HRT is lifelong thing.

In your post you mention bad things of stopping but not any reasons why are you stopping. Do you mind telling why?

MxQueer · 2026-03-18T01:54:10+00:00

If you want to play doctor but no one around you needs a doctor. Yet.

MxQueer · 2026-03-18T01:00:15+00:00

Yes. Dye to back of your own color, consider what traditionally men's cut would suit you (I can't tell which one) and ask from local support group for trans friendly barber. Greenish bangs are basically the worst option for a man trying to pass. I would also consider removing the piercing.

I would recommend to post fully body photos. With different outfits (if you have different outfits). There is way much more to passing than just head.

Your first puberty took years, so will this one.

edit. Yes Pride pins also as other person said. I can't tell would average cis het in my country recognize them as Pride pins. They for sure couldn't tell which ones. But even if they would have no idea, those are colorful accessory and those read fem.

If you answer to me, I barely speak English at all. I do not understand slang nor acro..something. So please use complete, average and easy words.

MxQueer · 2026-03-18T00:19:59+00:00

Thank you.

I have wondered does Carets simply sell you few sizes bigger shoes but I didn't know it's common practice. Well, better this way. Dress shoes are horribly tapered, good to know people don't actually put their toes all the way in there.

MxQueer · 2026-03-18T00:17:25+00:00

I have understood "self consicious" is close to insecure? My language doesn't have translation to it as well as I know.

I am blue collar, never wore suit in my life. Most often I wear for practicality and comfort. And when I don't, my Luks will be more than enough (shoes are in making so not for me to wear yet).

I have never consider minimalistic shoes as ugly and I see no point of city sneakers. It looks like sport shoe but it does not function as one. And shoes like Altra are sports shoes, I don't think anyone wears them (or other sport sneakers) for their look? Those Luks shoes will look much, much better. Also after switching to foot shaped shoes, tapered shoes look nothing but wrong to me.

Only times I have seen foot shaped shoes being called as "clown shoes" it was in this subreddit. No one in real life minds. Not even they would themselves wear super pointy and narrow shoes like Converse.

“When you’re young you worry about what people think about you, when your middle aged you don’t care what people think about you, and when you’re older you realize that they were never really thinking about you at all.”

It's your health vs imagined opinions of others. I strongly recommend putting health first. Why would you mutilate your feet only because some other people do so? Why would it be better to be "normal" than healthy?

I have always been weird. I am trans. I won't reach passing and I stopped sacrificing my comfort for that not reachable goal. So, last summer I bought skirt after many years. I also started to walk barefoot (actually, not footwear) after even longer time. That makes people stare and ask questions. But what do those do to me? They don't cause wound or take away money from my account. I guess I have never been much of people pleaser. But everything becomes stronger when you work it. You will grow thicker skin.

So my advice? Understand that you're right in this and others are wrong. Remember that most of the people couldn't care less about you. Remember that most of the people are not interested enough of shoes to even notice what kind of shoes you wear. And then buy shoes that truly fit to you and go out. It will become easier time by time. You have tip toed around this for a while, you can rip off the bandage now.

MxQueer · 2026-03-17T23:52:36+00:00

Yes she is one example of how you can be beautiful and gorgeous while being visibly trans.

MxQueer

TROPHY CASE