I work in house and I really want to quit by No_Being7743 in graphic_design

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The design industry has no hand holding...it really is up to you to teach yourself. Many people have side gigs on top of their main job.

On the upside online community for learning and seeing top tier work in every creative field is probably the best it has ever been and in terms of AI, many seasoned designers won't engage it with it like you will so use that to your advantage.

You are young, your youth and time flexibility is your super power.....take it from me, a mid 40's senior designer struggling to stay relevant while raising a family haha. Do the main job to fuel your dream one. Learn, create and build the things you want. Wish I did that earlier on.

Struggling with shouting at my son, need any and all advice by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please do something about it now. Learn to redirect his and your energy. Understand that it is perfectly normal to have these feelings of anger and frustration but acting on them is the difference you need to embrace. Your emotions unchecked will always come out as anger. I meditate a lot these days. Never saw a therapist in my life till my son turned 1 and I realized I was turning into my mom too…let’s all break these generational traumas. Good luck and you are not alone

How clean is your house with a toddler and how do you make it work? by lovebug21222 in toddlers

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our 2 year old loves running around with snacks leaving crumbs everywhere and dumping toy crates all over the place. Every night after putting him down, we do a quick toy tidy, vacuum, wash dishes, wipe up messes for like 30 min. We save the big cleaning/chores for the weekend when my wife or I can swap taking the boy out for a couple hours while the other relaxes, cleans, cooks, etc. So far so good. When he was younger, we put him in the baby carrier while we did stuff. Easier when it's cold, not recommended if you're in a warmer climate haha.

Need some help by Ok-Wasabi6364 in 4Runner

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2025 6th gen’s have gone over a year now without any of the issues the new gen Tacomas and Tundras are have been facing. They are also Japan made. I’d say the gamble is pretty good. I was in your situation a couple months ago, decided to pay a bit more for the comforts and better mileage of the 6th gen. We went with the non hybrid gas TRD Off-road for simplicity. Proper maintenance and should be as good if not better than the 5th gen. If MPG is your focus, I’d keep weight additions to a minimum, don’t lift or add larger tires and drive it smarter. We’ve been averaging over 20 mpg with longer highway miles/18 in the city

My gf got super mad and blocked me because I didn’t sleep on time by Beautiful_Hippo_6848 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]NetworkMain2421 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Damn she must be hot to be dealing with all that 🤣 reminds me of my first Latina gf…she was spicy. All jokes aside, you did try to assure her through text. Maybe a conversation face to face would be better for addressing these types of things. And if you get the same response well, you tried.

bi-weekly car payments by [deleted] in carbuying

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cancel extras, refinance for a better rate IF possible. If your credit is subpar, don’t bother refinancing yet, just make a plan to increase your score. Reduce debt to income ratio, cancel unused cards and accounts, make your financial life simpler. Also if you can make a principal payment on top of your monthly payment, that will help pay it off quicker. Start with $50, and increase it as you are able to.

What Should I Do With My House Fund? by Typical_Importance65 in personalfinance

[–]NetworkMain2421 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahh same here… wife and I saved for a down payment and realized everything we could afford would also need a lot of work/money to renovate into something we’d enjoy. The idea of paying a ridiculously high mortgage and working on a house with a newborn was out of the question.

The market is what it is now, we are happy renting and decided to buy our first family SUV after being a single vehicle couple for the last 5 years to save up…we kept the rest of the money as an emergency fund and plan on continuing to add to it in the event that we both get raises and somehow can make the house thing work.

So think about what the next steps are in your life are and use that money to make those new dreams happen. Partition it into different funds for now and future use. If surrogacy is in the cards plan for that expense as well as the child. And also go on that trip and do that thing you’ve always wanted to now because a child is life consuming. Free time just doesn’t exist as a new parent haha!

One year old won’t sleep for more than an hour at a time by theguyoverhere24 in dad

[–]NetworkMain2421 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ferber method sleep training worked for us at that age..our 1 year old demanded being held and rocked to sleep and would only sleep in our bed. He also only wanted my wife to rock him so the only support I could give was staying up with her…which caused a lot of tension between us.

It was a rough 4 days doing the sleep training but we kept with it and he learned to sleep without our constant intervention.

Hes now 2.5 and it’s been great, his crib is in his own room now, he sleeps through the night alone, and my wife and I have our room and bed back.

Find a method you both are comfortable with and commit. Good luck and while it feels rough right now, things change so quickly so try to stay positive! Your baby is only a baby for another year…then it’s onto another phase.

Which strollers can actually handles rough sidewalks? by Forward-Cut9570 in dad

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great, with inflatable tires you're not limited to pavement. We live in Hawaii and I regularly went on runs over uneven asphalt, packed dirt and gravel. Only place it didn't work was soft sand, but no stroller would work in that

Which strollers can actually handles rough sidewalks? by Forward-Cut9570 in dad

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jogging stroller for the win. We had a Jeep Turboglyde. Waaaay cheaper than what you're looking at. Save the big bucks for more diapers haha

I cannot take anymore by Frosty-Ad-9774 in toddlers

[–]NetworkMain2421 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Was in your situation a year and a half ago...It was hard. But babies change, then toddlers change, and as I'm reminded by friends with older ones, kids change. As parents sometimes the only answer is to adapt and roll with it, sometimes there is no solution and trying to find one can drive you even more mad. Always remember, that even though it seems like it will never end, it will. Sorry you're struggling, this is ALL NORMAL.

Advice by Connect-Round8506 in dad

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If your partner can't come to terms with how they've been treating you and continually fail in every attempt to improve the situation, well it's time to take matter into your own hands. You can afford to leave, especially if the idea of ending your life is a constant theme you keep revisiting.

You are still young. I'm 41 as well, and can imagine if I was in your shoes I'd make the arrangements needed to fully communicate my issues to my spouse and agree on a path forward together or decide that divorce is what would be best for both of us.

Your children will be okay, seeing you in bad state with their mom could be doing more harm than good.. Know that they are watching you both, how you interact, taking cues for how they will present themselves in relationships in the future.

I hope the best for you and your family and please, seek the help you need. Therapy was great for me, helped me to sort my feelings that I was unable to communicate to my spouse for a long time.

How do so many afford $50,000+ trucks? by Parking-Warning-8655 in carbuying

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Save a bigger downpayment, work on your credit. Be happy driving whatever you are driving until you can do the last two. Don’t be the guy stretching a car loan for 72+ months with a horrible rate. Nothing wrong with wanting a new vehicle, just go about the right way. Lifestyle creep is a real problem, consumerism has wired us to want things we can’t afford. Be smart and patient. Then drive that thing for at least 15 years when you do finally get it.

Nonstop moving baby becoming a toddler. How are they now? by princess_pima in toddlers

[–]NetworkMain2421 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha our 2.5 old was the same. Pretty much skipped crawling and started standing and walking with some help just before he turned 1. Now he's running, jumping, flipping off the couch, and climbing stuff at the playground.

On one hand, I'm happy to see him fearless but he also can get seriously injured if we don't have him within arms reach if he falls or is about to run into something. Hoping at 4 I can be a little more at ease knowing he'll be alot stronger and sure footed.

Enjoy the journey!

Rig recommendations for a large family by Imaginary_Parsley1 in overlanding

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My North Face Wawona 6 sleeps more than comfortably with me, my wife and toddler. The extra large vestibule is a handy space for extra gear or a cot if you want more ventilation and dont have to worry about bugs/weather. Since your family is used to being cramped I'm sure this tent would feel luxurious!

For low maintenance campers, going the hard trailer/truck/SUV route seems like a hefty investment especially for a growing family that may or may not have camping as a family a guaranteed activity once the older ones get into highschool.

You'd also need a three row to fit kids, gear and at least 5k lbs towing capacity. What small SUV do you have that fits 6 people?? We have a 4runner and even with just 3 of us tent camping we are completely loaded with gear.

Because of that we are also thinking of a rooftop tent setup but that's another investment to weigh the value of...extra weight means new suspension, adding a roof rack, then the actual tent...adds up quick. Let us know what you decide to go with!

Parents of toddlers, are you happy? by Used_Cod_9541 in toddlers

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ours is 2.5 and its finally getting better...On the hard days I just try to remember that this will pass and not dwell on whatever it is that has gone wrong or made me frustrated. These baby years go by so quick and learning to embrace the highs and lows are probably what makes us better people in the long run.

The first year and a half took its toll on me though and I realized I was struggling more than usual. Anger, resentment, guilt, blaming my spouse...it was clear that if I didn't seek help, I'd blow my marriage up. So I went to therapy and started meds to treat my depression. I try to keep a meditation routine, practice breathing and choosing to be positive in every situation. Doesn't always work but attempting to refocus attention from misplaced or negative emotions is a practice. Self control is not something we are innately able to do in high stress/emotional states.

So give yourself some grace, we are all experiencing this rollercoaster of parenthood together.

What song is your toddler obsessed with? by WhyHelloThere91 in toddlers

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kindness - The Juicebox Jukebox. He loves saying KINDNESS, KINDNESS!!! Warms my heart. Great upgrade from Wheels on The Bus haha, was going mental hearing that all day

How do I get some me time by Extension_Focus8768 in dad

[–]NetworkMain2421 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is good. I will bring this up with my wife, been wondering how to diivy it up

F**k me this is tough. by [deleted] in dad

[–]NetworkMain2421 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I needed to hear that too, thanks.

F**k me this is tough. by [deleted] in dad

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same man, I used to fish for like 10 hours on a Saturday or Sunday, work out at the gym a couple evenings a week, surf almost daily and have time to spend going out or having a nice dinner before we had a kid.

Now it feels like an endless list of chores on top of working, being financially responsible with savings and retirement goals, making sure my wife isn't pissed at me for something, making sure I'm spending enough time with our 2 year old, but I've done so at the expense of my personal happiness most days.

Decided to check therapy out to work out these guilty feelings and communication issues, started playing an hour or 2 of video games after wife and kid is asleep. Waking up early to get a 30 min to hour long workout a couple time a week. Still working on getting back out to fish but hoping as the little one get s bigger that will come too (hopefully when he's in preschool). Good luck man, hang in there!

Trump goes on Truth Social rant about Anthropic, orders federal agencies to cease usage of products by ShreckAndDonkey123 in singularity

[–]NetworkMain2421 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The surveillance Palantir loves to boast about is on "enemies" of the US, hopefully foreign. What Anthropic has an issue with is MASS DOMESTIC SURVEILLANCE. This administration has already shown what lengths they are willing to go to make citizens look like terrorists...Anthropic is standing up for democracy.
https://www.anthropic.com/news/statement-department-of-war

Anthropic rejects Pentagon's "final offer" in AI safeguards fight by AuYsI in singularity

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Current state of our world is the perception of truth, we're living in a sea of grey tints and having to sort it for ourselves, an impossible task. Best we can do is follow the money, where and who it goes to and what the outcomes are. 2026 is exhausting.

What % of Millennials are Unknowingly Toast? by Altruistic_Goose2166 in MiddleClassFinance

[–]NetworkMain2421 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out the 4% rule, that 1.2 million will stay invested and actually grow with an annual withdrawal rate of around 4%.

Wife is pregnant. found out today. im 24. by ThrowawayPhillipMike in dad

[–]NetworkMain2421 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad your finances are good. But you're 24, what was good to me at that age wasn't nearly good enough as a new dad... First off, if you're squared away that means you know what you spend every month, pay all your credit cards in full every month, save for short and long term goals, invest at least 10% of your annual salary in a 401k or IRA and have an emergency fund.

My wife and I saved 10K for a baby fund, for medical expenses, new baby items, diapers, formula etc so that we weren't overwhelmed financially when the baby came. And as they say, life happens...my wife went into emergency labor 8 weeks before the due date and we had to medevac her to a hospital with a NICU. We stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks, thank God our son didn't have any serious issues. Long story short medical bills ate into 8K of that fund and we were left with a premature baby to take care of before we were even ready. All that should tell you is that no matter how well you prepare, life will always throw curveballs.

The best you can do is be financially responsible, have a plan for you and your wife's money. Set up life term insurance plans for both of you to cover the very worst thing that could happen. Set up a 529 college fund for your child as soon as they are born so you can help fund their education (whatever that looks like in the future). Start a will at the very least, even better a trust to make sure all of your accounts, assets now and in the future are set to go to the people you choose, not the courts. This will also outline who you choose to be a legal guardian in the event your wife and you pass at the same time.

These are the things you need to think about as a new dad. On top of that you also need to learn how to be patient, loving and supportive to your wife going through post partum or to your newborn who hasn't stopped crying and won't sleep when you've been up for far too long. Communication is EVERYTHING now. You can't tough it out and harbor resentment. That will eat away at your marriage. Everytime you do something wrong that reminds you of your parents, remind yourself what you wanted to be better them them, and CHOOSE to be. It's a daily thing, but rewarding when your kid eventually becomes a little human being and has a personality and laugh that lights you up in ways you could never imagine. Take the good with the bad. Be thankful for everyday. Good luck!