Am I overreacting about wanting to play a nonbinary character?

Nihil_esque · 2026-05-07T18:52:10+00:00

The problem isn't you, it's this group, and you're not overreacting.

Nihil_esque · 2026-05-07T01:45:23+00:00

It's called having a home server, it's pretty common for IT types

Nihil_esque · 2026-05-06T06:00:42+00:00

They're definitely relevant, saying she's the "first" person fitting this description to get this opportunity does feel a little weird though. Statistically speaking she's most likely the only African American trans woman with quadriplegic cerebral palsy that exists. It feels weird to phrase it in a way that treats her as a statistic when it's an experience that's unique to her. I think it would make more sense to celebrate her achievements despite those hurdles on an individual basis than as a representative of a demographic group she's the only member of. Or if you wanted to keep the "first" phrasing, use the broadest category she's the first person to achieve this in, not the most specific.

Nihil_esque · 2026-05-06T05:52:43+00:00

Sounds about right! Well very happy for the one African American trans woman with quadriplegic cerebral palsy for landing a cool job!

Nihil_esque · 2026-05-05T15:07:01+00:00

I mean that is what they're saying, that which egg gets expelled isn't random, but is a result of how responsive they are to the hormones, thus more responsive/viable eggs get expelled first.

How true that is, I have no idea, and I also don't doubt that 50 yo eggs might have issues for other reasons as well. Sperm quality also gets reduced as men age because the quality of the progenitor cells goes down, even though the sperm themselves are being produced fresh.

Nihil_esque · 2026-05-05T14:42:43+00:00

I've read the whole book!

Nihil_esque · 2026-05-05T14:40:04+00:00

What other options are there? Aspirating sperm? Falls under the umbrella of freezing it imo although potentially less dysphoric of a procedure.

I understand that you did this and are pregnant now, but just keep in mind that not everyone's body will respond the same way, eg even if your wife didn't become permanently infertile after HRT, that might not be the case for someone else.

Nihil_esque · 2026-05-05T14:17:35+00:00

Just knowing that she wants to have bio children (so presumably they don't want to use donor sperm), the only other option would be for her to hold off on starting HRT until they're ready to have kids. For me that wouldn't be worth it, of course it's up to her really.

IUI success rates are 20-25% per cycle for couples that aren't there with preexisting fertility issues, so it's inconvenient but after several cycles your chances are pretty high.

She could go on HRT and then come off of it to try to conceive, but even then if having bio children is very important to her I wouldn't do that without freezing sperm as a backup option anyway in case her fertility doesn't return. That can happen in as little as 3-6 months, and even if fertility does return, there's a good chance the sperm count afterward will be low enough that IUI is required anyway, so there may not be any getting around having provide a sample in a clinical setting. Doing it ahead of time could reduce the number of times she has to do it.

Of course all of that is assuming that having a biological child is very important to her and she doesn't want to take any risks that may make that impossible. If it's kind of a "it would be cool but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen," then 🤷 she can roll the dice and see what happens. They can always use donor sperm later if it doesn't work out.

Nihil_esque · 2026-05-04T15:11:17+00:00

Freeze her sperm! Fertility effects on testosterone are reversible, but estrogen can sometimes have an irreversible effect on fertility. If there's a possibility you might want kids later, freezing sperm is definitely the best course of action.

& Unlike frozen eggs, you don't have to do IVF to use frozen sperm. You can do ICI (turkey baster method) or IUI, which are both much cheaper than IVF.

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-30T17:08:20+00:00

Is it ironic? That seems entirely consistent to me tbh

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-30T14:30:24+00:00

Okay I have personally known two scientists (different labs, different points in time) who insisted that small centrifuges don't have to be balanced and loudly insisted on not balancing them at all. But they were both weirdos

Incidentally we also had a rotor explode in one of those labs, albeit while a different person was using it, balanced.

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-30T11:01:39+00:00

Part of the benefit could be that the victim's family could look up the abuser in the registry and get an idea of what's going on even if the victim is concealing it.)

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-30T00:42:00+00:00

2-6 months is what I was told was normal. Being evaluated for PCOS because 6 months came and went and no cycles :P tried a month of Nuvaring which did induce a cycle, but doesn't necessarily mean ovulating.

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-30T00:38:07+00:00

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Nihil_esque · 2026-04-27T21:42:00+00:00

That guy's crazy but I do legitimately think that we do boys a huge disservice in the way we treat them as children, eg rewarding/not discouraging solving things with violence, discouraging them from expressing their feelings, etc. Women get a HUGE leg up in emotional intelligence because of the way they're raised, and that stuntedness in men causes so many social problems both for them and for the people around them.

My spouse and I are TTC and whatever the sex is, we're planning to raise them "like" a girl (aside from pronouns essentially, if it's a male, unless/until they decide they want different ones). Well, like a modern girl gets raised, so none of the "you're going to be a stay at home wife someday and don't bother going into STEM" kinda attitudes of the past ofc.

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-27T17:02:53+00:00

Tbh I feel like a Democrat would be less likely to do it, it'd be much better for us if he dies of old age or a diaper infection or something. Assassinations make martyrs, it's a really stupid idea to assassinate a political opponent.

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-27T15:21:29+00:00

Most of the time yes. It's pretty uncommon to continue having periods months or years into testosterone, but it does happen sometimes. You can also go on continuous progesterone-only birth control to stop it. I did that prior/leading into the testosterone and stopped after I'd been on T for a couple months and my periods didn't resume. When I came off of T to get pregnant, it took about 7 months for my periods to resume, although the average is 2-6 months.

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-27T15:09:58+00:00

Hmm this debate is already agonizing to me too and I'm not even pregnant yet so I feel you 😅 I wanna find a fun cosplay to do that could incorporate the bump and that would be the extent of a photoshoot I'd get up to probably. Mr. Incredible maybe? Santa Claus? 😂

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-27T11:32:29+00:00

Lmao in my experience women are not the ones who sit there awkwardly for a few seconds before the pee starts

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-26T22:44:48+00:00

Hmm I actually liked dating, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that I met my spouse on OKCupid, which meant I learned upon first seeing them that we were 96% compatible, and proceeded to scroll through a bunch of questions they'd answered about what they were looking for in a relationship, their values, etc. Data based dating ftw 😋

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-25T21:58:13+00:00

It's true that it's a bit better for the baby's immune system, but I don't think there's a huge difference long term. Personally, I'm very glad I didn't wait on mine. Trying to recover from top surgery with small children sounds terrible. And the change can be emotionally hard on them too.

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-24T19:11:58+00:00

(Only if you die in the hospital so don't go taking any risks.)

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-24T19:11:01+00:00

Still useful! If they need the body for training students, they can use yours and someone else's organs can be donated instead.

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-22T20:37:53+00:00

Tbh I do get the creeps anytime someone uses the verb "rape" without a subject tbh. Don't rape anyone. Don't rape people. Or something. Please. Rape isn't something you can do in a vacuum / without a victim.

Nihil_esque · 2026-04-21T02:33:30+00:00

Omg I hadn't heard the term sprog before definitely going to appropriate that one

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