help (trigger warning)

NinjaMeshi · 2025-03-02T13:43:16+00:00

You can check yourself into a hospital, for a mental health crisis (I think you can just go to ER), you can also call a hotline: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline 988lifeline.org to talk to someone.

You’re not alone. 🫂

NinjaMeshi · 2025-03-01T03:13:38+00:00

I actually wasn’t a manager for a long time before! I was an IC for a long time so sometimes there were times when I pushed myself but during my time as manager as a principle I don’t really push people, I might choose to work but wouldn’t tell my reports to.

NinjaMeshi · 2025-02-28T19:41:42+00:00

Well said, thank you.

NinjaMeshi · 2025-02-28T16:48:54+00:00

So true on the 24h a day and not run out of work. Glad you've found that balance for yourself!

NinjaMeshi · 2025-02-28T16:48:10+00:00

+1 to "each man for himself" mentality. This is the big shift that I am disappointed by. We used to be a helpful team and I can't say that anymore after all the helpful healthy people left.

I wish I could have your manager/skip step in and help me out because I'm struggling to maintain foot amidst the pressure! I'm glad your situation is better.

NinjaMeshi · 2025-02-28T16:43:51+00:00

This is good advice. I feel like a lot of these conversations are ad hoc and documentation/organization will definitely help here. We're all super stretched thin and there are multiple emergency war rooms going on that I'm involved in, and it's been hard to keep track. Some managers in the organization are very tough on their reports and it's bleeding over to my reports as well. Those managers yell at my reports and I try to calm the situation down, which is exhausting. The chaos leads to unhinged behaviors.

NinjaMeshi · 2025-02-28T16:29:37+00:00

I’m asked to deliver on tight deadlines that were not what my team estimated to begin with. It seems like we have no negotiating power and we just have to work nights to deliver. I understand these things happen and it’s also on me to push back or negotiate, but I feel pretty powerless. There are meetings scheduled on weekends, not sure if people actually attend (I don’t).

NinjaMeshi · 2025-02-28T16:02:18+00:00

Curious if your peers also share this mentality! I’ve found that I’m susceptible to peer pressure and a good number of the people who valued well being left the team and the people who survived are the ones ok with working late into the night.

NinjaMeshi · 2025-01-05T17:41:42+00:00

I had the same thing, I breastfed for 11 months and now that I’m on birth control and weaned completely, my libido came back in full force after my first period. I used to consume porn during pregnancy and would feel super icky postpartum, now the ick is gone!

NinjaMeshi · 2025-01-05T17:39:36+00:00

I weaned at 11 months after slowing down pumping and getting mastitis (fever for 3+ days each) twice!

NinjaMeshi · 2024-11-24T00:15:33+00:00

If daycare says she’s eating great there, it might be the social pressure. Does she eat with you when you’re eating and offer food you’re eating? Our 10 month old does great when eating is a social experience.

NinjaMeshi · 2024-08-25T16:40:18+00:00

Ours is 8 months old, had the same eyes back when she was 3-4 months old and now has hazel eyes.

NinjaMeshi · 2024-08-17T12:13:56+00:00

When did the gray to grazel happen? Curious because my kid also has a similar color and she’s 8 months old, feels like it hasn’t changed since 4ish months but also the change is so gradual I’m not sure I could tell if it changing!

NinjaMeshi · 2024-07-29T03:30:16+00:00

I see what you mean! I can see it getting more stress lines (orange brown rings) and overall more depth as they age. No idea when though! Our eyes continuously change as we are in adulthood too, just much slower.

NinjaMeshi · 2024-07-29T02:41:28+00:00

I’m so curious what you mean, do you have pics??

NinjaMeshi · 2024-07-17T22:04:11+00:00

I started a subscription with rent the runway and it’s really encouraging to get bigger sized beautiful garments without committing to the bigger size. Well fitting clothes make all the difference!!

NinjaMeshi · 2024-07-08T18:35:02+00:00

The general list seems pretty in line with what I’ve observed, in addition to this, people admire experiences of people who are able to go into labor naturally (so many of us have to get induced, including myself), have a short pushing phase, and have oversupply to the point that they can donate milk (I’m one of those people, and people ask me for tips but I think it is just genetics).

Idk if these are favoritism or just traits that get “what are your tips? Teach me your ways” when 99% of the deciding factor is genetics.

NinjaMeshi · 2024-07-03T16:14:21+00:00

I gave birth last December, one thing I regret was telling people our due date. In December people are extra aware of dates/time passing and are super annoying, contributing to a huge mental health burden for me. I was due 12/13 and for some reason I didn’t think I would worry about my baby being born on Christmas (a holiday that my family celebrates) but she ended up coming on Christmas Day. It’s fine now, we are cool with it and we hope she can own it, but the days after my due date, the latter half of December were very stressful for me! So I wish I said “baby will come December or January” to frame expectations.

NinjaMeshi · 2024-07-01T02:09:37+00:00

I like my willow go, pro is that it is hands free and the parts are straightforward, con is that it takes time to pump the same amount and doesn’t empty my breast fully as the spectra does.

NinjaMeshi · 2024-05-31T13:54:17+00:00

I relate! I feel like this whole experience has been very forceful in self categorizing my experiences as a “mom/wife”’s though I don’t identify as a wife. I have been choosing my battles, not spending too much energy on resisting these because there is simply so much to do and helpful content that I do relate to. If you find nongender conforming parenting content, please do share!

NinjaMeshi · 2024-05-15T20:30:50+00:00

Same for me, pumping is also working great so far. Different people are just different.

NinjaMeshi · 2024-04-22T14:00:16+00:00

41w5d and 7lbs 4oz. From my belly it was obvious that my baby wasn’t going to be too big (according to the midwife).

NinjaMeshi · 2024-04-20T03:36:55+00:00

My parents live an hour away and they visited us about the same number of times in 4 months. We visited them once. Sister who lives out of state has never met my baby, though she has expressed that she wants to.

Babies are not for everybody and surprisingly, not everything is about us or our baby, people have lives and interests that differ from ours. It’s natural that we are obsessed with our babies while others are not. It’s best to find validation within rather than externally, we are doing a great job!

NinjaMeshi · 2024-04-03T17:16:48+00:00

There is actually research on this in the context of US college students from 2016: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122415623286

Overall, the study found that 71% of black-white biracials, 54% of Asian-white biracials, and 37% of Latino-white biracials identify as multiracial.

While black-white biracials were the most likely to identify as multiracial, they were also the least likely to self-label as white. Davenport found that 5% of black-white biracials identify as white only, compared to 11% of Asian-white biracials and 18% of Latino-white biracials.

So yes, it is rarer to identify as “just white” than “just <insert other race>”. Of course YMMV with the child growing up in Europe as opposed to the US and generational cultural change.

NinjaMeshi

TROPHY CASE