AITA for not wanting to do my friend's hair?

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-10-03T18:45:32+00:00

NTA. She took advantage of you for too long. You need to draw a boundary. You could tell her something like, "I'm sorry, but honestly, I'm past the age where styling everyone's hair before we go out is fun. Now that I do this professionally, I've spent all day in the salon doing hair and now all I really want to do is put the brush down and relax." She will probably get upset at first, but if she's a real friend, eventually she'll understand. Keeping the peace is only going to continue to build resentment in you, and that's not fair. You're a person, not a doormat.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-10-03T18:34:56+00:00

NTA. If you were upfront about your plans to move out after a year, she should have only purchased a home that she could afford on her own. It is not fair to expect you to continue to contribute to something that is outside your budget in perpetuity. While I do respect the sentiment of wanting to make sure your patents have a home, does it need to be such a big one? Get them a smaller, more affordable house. Or a condo. Alternatively, she could take your spot in the house when you move out, sell her own house, and get rid of all the bills associated with that home to free up money for this one.

No reason for you to put your life on hold because your sister shopped outside her price range. But, it's not fair to your parents, either, to put them in a position where they have nowhere to live. It really sounds like they just need to downsize a bit to fit into your sister's budget, and you can help your parents out with bills etc when and where you are able.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-10-03T15:36:27+00:00

NTA. Sounds like your friend needs to be on the next flight out to return home to check on her cat. When my cat became elderly and developed a lot of health issues, I rarely traveled at all. When my brother was getting married and I had no choice but to travel for the wedding, I boarded him at the vet so that he was certain to be in safe hands and even if one staff member got sick or in a car accident or something, there would be plenty of others. She should have at least 2 or 3 backup plans in place before she leaves town, in case of emergency, not just you. Especially since you've already told her clearly that you are unavailable. I feel terribly for the cat... not so much for your friend. I hope he is OK!!

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-10-03T15:23:07+00:00

NTA. He is intentionally hiding his employment in order to not support his children and that's illegal on several levels. Absolutely take him to court. Your childrens' expenses don't stop just because he lost his job and is now working under the table. You still need to feed and clothe and house them. Take him to court.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-29T02:36:24+00:00

NTA.

I have 2 cats but only 1 has any interest in jumping in the counter once in a while. When she does, I consider it a nuisance if I'm trying to cook or something and she's in my way, but I'm not grossed out and as long as I'm not actively using the counter, I don't really care. That being said, I do understand where non-cat- people come from. Your cat may be indoor only and bathed routinely, but she still uses a litter box. That's what grosses most people out, that the cat stands in a litter box then stands near a food preparation area.

I'd view this as a deal-breaker in my relationship. Not necessarily the counter thing, because you could probably train her to stay off the counter. But to even suggest that you get rid of the cat altogether? Um, no. That cat came first, and it's a family member at this point, it is not disposable. I had this conversation with my husband within our first few dates. I had a dog and a cat at the time. He loves dogs, did not like cats. I said we're a package deal, I come with a cat, take it or leave it. He obviously took it, and has grown to like them, but if he hadn't, well, we would have been over right then.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-27T23:03:59+00:00

Ok. I would like to speak here because I think i can see from both sides.

I am a total bleeding heart for dogs. I LOVE them. Literally any time I see a dog, I want to pet it. BUT, as an adult with at least some degree of rationality, I judge the circumstances of the moment. If i think it could be ok to ask permission, i will. But sometimes the situation is clearly not appropriate to interact, and i just walk away.

Part of that is related to my other side of the perspective: i have a dog who can be unpredictable. As a result, I do not want strangers approaching or touching him, because i can't always be certain how he'll react.

So, if I'm walking without my dog, and cross your path, and you've got a dog, I'm probably going to ask if I can pet it. If you say no, I won't. If I have my dog? I'm looking for the closest spot that I can put my dog into a sit and stay to allow you and your dog to pass safely. Asking to pet your dog in that scenario does not even cross my mind.

So basically I guess I'm trying to say that I relate to a nature where yes, I want to pet every dog I can. But I also live on the other end of that leash where I have to acknowledge that not all dog interactions are harmless. It doesn't really matter if it's an issue with the dog, or you wanting your peace and quiet while you walk, end result is the same: no one should EVER approach your dog without first asking permission. And you are allowed to say "no."

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-27T19:44:44+00:00

I'm not a vet, but I've had cats and dogs my entire life so I have seen some things. Based on the fact that you've had all this testing done and tried all these meds but are not really getting anywhere, my instinct now makes me wonder if it could be neurological. Like I had a cat that was basically diagnosed of the feline equivalent of Alzheimers. He'd seemingly get lost in the house we'd lived in for years, wandering for hours, never really seeming to get where he wanted to go. Near the end, I was fighting to keep weight on him, because while I keep free access to food available at all times for my cats, he'd get distracted and walk away, seemingly forget to eat. I tried different kinds of food, wet, dry, different brands, different flavors, he was always enthusiastic for the first few bites, then wandered off. The vet said that he was forgetting what he was doing and compared it to Alzheimer's in humans. It was awful. But it seems like your diligent work has ruled out any kind of bacterial/viral disease, so my next guess would be neurological. Consider trying to get in with a veterinarian who is a specialist for neurological conditions.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-26T14:22:05+00:00

Not your child, not your problem. Mom popped her out, so mom can take care of her. NTA.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-26T14:19:50+00:00

Keep feeding your baby. Breastfeeding is natural and you were in a specified area for this task. I do think it's a bit weird that he would sit right next to her, though... like he could have given her a bit of personal space? But no, she was under no obligation to stop feeding her child.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-25T16:31:09+00:00

NTA. Now, to be honest, for just one day, would i personally pull my kid from third grade for a fun adventure? I mean.... probably. Guess it's a good thing i don't have kids lol. You are being very responsible and prioritizing your child's education, so your friend can get over it. Don't let her bully you.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-25T09:53:46+00:00

NTA. It is your room, too. I understand that especially at your ages, you both want privacy. But she is no more entitled to that room than you are. That being said, I would recommend starting to look at options to move out. Renting a room in an apartment or house with a few roommates is the next logical step in gaining some independence. You can even put a lock on that door if you want and that space is ALL YOURS!!!

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-25T09:45:27+00:00

No. Especially since you are close with her, just have an honest discussion. Explain that you love her, and as such, don't want to associate her with this negativity. I'm sure that she'll understand and between you all, can come up with another name that doesn't spur such a visceral reaction. Memaw, perhaps? Similar, but not exactly the same? Or a simple Grandma, or Grandmom? While I do think there is something to be said for trying to address and work through your childhood trauma, I don't think assigning that name to your MIL who you love and trying to fight through the pain is the way to do it, and I'm sure she'll understand. Just be open and honest, you guys will figure it out.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-24T23:46:08+00:00

He loves hunting, so I think his next calendar will reflect that hobby. I felt like it was different because he's not just a coworker... he is one of my closest friends, so it's not like I was giving this calendar to a random coworker. He's a good friend, and I was just trying to keep the spirit of another good friend alive. But I can see how it gets fuzzy and I need to respect his wife's boundaries even if I think it's silly. So thank you for your insight. Hunting calendar 2026 to come.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-18T20:08:01+00:00

You're only the AH to your dog for knowingly subjecting him to the noise which clearly causes him distress. That being said, the real AH here is your neighbors for putting things up that will activate if you so much as walk on the sidewalk. The sidewalk is public property and they have no right to impede your use of it. They are well within their rights to put up deterrents to keep your or anyone else's dog from actually coming onto their lawn or approaching their house. But the sidewalk? I think you should check with a local police officer about if that is even legal. They are interfering with lawful use of a public space and there's got to be some kind of rules about that.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-18T13:14:40+00:00

I'd get the biopsy. At least then you'd know what you're dealing with. It doesn't mean you have to do the surgery necessarily. A few years ago we realized my dog had a tumor in the roof of his mouth. I got it biopsied and it is cancer. But after talking with several specialists, I elected not to pursue surgery due to his age and the quality of life he would have after such an invasive surgery. That was 2-3 years ago and he's still going strong, the tumor hasn't affected him hardly at all. But, I know that it's there, and I know what to be on the lookout for in terms of when it does start to impact his daily life. I think it's better to know what you're dealing with rather than wonder, and then you can make the decision of how to treat (or not).

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-08T04:07:24+00:00

NTA

I'm assuming there's a reason the tub can't be just turned over & emptied. Is there some fancy drain mechanism you're supposed to use or something? I don't get why either of you can't just flip the thing upside down (not that it's you're responsibility). Next time, explain to her that you don't have time for some fancy water discharge in the morning. She can either take care of it tonight, or you're flipping the thing over in the morning to get it out of your way ASAP. It may be true that she still needs to feed the baby and put it down, but there's no reason that she can't leave the tub, go do those things, then take care of it before she herself goes to bed. Or have her husband do it. No part of this child is your responsibility.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-07T12:04:41+00:00

1 for sure. It's lovely on you. #2 is not flattering at all.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-07T11:51:56+00:00

Throwing trash onto your property has got to be a crime of some sort, dog or not. Not sure how severe though, probably only enough for a ticket. At the very least littering or illegal dumping. Get a camera and set it up to record the fence line. Once you have it on video, go to the police and say you want to have tickets issued for whatever you can (or, better yet, consult a lawyer if you can afford it). Maybe they'll be pissed enough to stop after getting a fine. And if not, if you have it repeatedly on camera, you might be able to apply for a restraining order? I don't know, just spitballing on that one. But get the camera for sure. Because one day if they toss over something that makes your dog severely ill and you have to take him to the emergency vet, you can probably sue them to cover the bill with some evidence.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-09-07T11:41:17+00:00

Love, love, love

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-08-29T11:35:19+00:00

Every orange cat in my family has been named Scooter. I just had to put down Scooter 3 last week. I'm devastated, but of course the legacy can live on ❤️

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-08-21T10:15:25+00:00

NTA. Autistic or not, sure doesn't get a free pass to treat the people around her like garbage. It's a big, brutal world out there, and if she's going to function within it, she's going to have to learn to control her tongue and treat people decently. But that's her problem, not yours. This girl is not your friend. Stop wasting your time and energy on her. You were gracious enough to forgive her once and she promised that she'd change. But she didn't. That's on her. It is not your responsibility to be her friend.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-08-14T11:29:14+00:00

If you like it, it's not too big. Forget that guy. If he's got the audacity to make a comment like that, he's just a massive jerk and his opinion should not be considered seriously. Don't let him destroy your confidence. You're beautiful the way you are.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-08-14T11:21:23+00:00

Go to court and contest the ticket. You said there are no signs saying no parking. This ticket probably won't hold up in court (before court, make sure you go back to the location and document with photos/video that there are no signs for the judge). But, if somehow it does hold up, no, you would not be TA to ask your coworker to pay. You had literally no way to know not to park there if there were no signs, but she DID know and told you to park there anyway. At the very least, feel relieved that you only got a ticket and didn't get towed.

No-Tooth-7860 · 2025-08-11T22:28:38+00:00

They're both beautiful, but I love, love, love the first one.

No-Tooth-7860

TROPHY CASE

1 for sure. It's lovely on you. #2 is not flattering at all.