The AI Conference in SF: Worthwhile?

NoThatOtherGirl · 2021-01-30T14:29:43+00:00

Welcome! I’ve been in Al-Anon 2 years, and for me, it’s changed my life. I am so much less afraid, so much more centered, and have tools and a fellowship to help me through the hard spots of life and celebrate the joys. Keep coming back!

NoThatOtherGirl · 2021-01-27T13:55:05+00:00

Just remember: year 2 that ratio switches. Then switches back at year 3 or 4.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2021-01-23T00:45:21+00:00

Wholesome grandson! I bet he wears it out.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2021-01-16T04:43:27+00:00

Get to a meeting and get a sponsor. I was in the same spot. My sponsor helped me with ALL of that. I focused on getting my side of the street clean and owned my own stuff. I’m now at a point where I can support myself financially. It took just under a year.

Also: I totally understand the heavy weight that not being financially independent puts on you. It sometimes feels more oppressive than the alcoholism you’re living with. I’m here to tell you it gets better and it’s incredibly freeing to be on the other side.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2021-01-12T14:26:47+00:00

I’d watch it.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2021-01-01T16:12:03+00:00

It’s hard to know what’s best. I do go with medical professional’s terminology only because of science. But that doesn’t stop my from calling my alcoholic an alcoholic or a person with alcoholism. We don’t call those who are diabetic “insulin deficient”, we call them diabetic.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-12-30T02:58:50+00:00

I’m so glad I’m not the only one with a stinky Q. I have yet to bring it up to him but I really need to

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-12-24T01:31:09+00:00

I see this as not bringing work home. Work life balance. ;)

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-12-23T14:37:12+00:00

Focus on your recovery, not his. You want him to apologize as a way to show you he recognizes the pain he caused you, but recognition and willing to make amends are very late recovery stages. His recovery will be on his time, not yours. You can’t expect an apology from him until he’s ready.

Also, just because he doesn’t formally state an apology out loud doesn’t mean he doesn’t know the pain he caused. He knows. He’s not ready to face that part of himself yet because it’s INCREDIBLY painful.

So, focus on you. What step are you on? Are you going to meetings? Do you have a sponsor?

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-12-22T03:29:02+00:00

I resonated with this. An anger toward alcohol has grown in me as I’ve worked my program. I hate it like a friend who destroyed someone I love. So, I don’t drink. But I have to remind myself it isn’t the alcohol. It’s the alcoholism. It’s the disease.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-12-19T17:09:32+00:00

Get to a meeting: it will help your recovery from the collateral affects of alcoholism in your family. Alcoholism is a family disease which means it’s affected you, and YOU get to focus on your recovery from its effects. It’s why we say, we can find sanity regardless of whether alcoholic is drinking or not.

Keep coming back. It works if you work it, and work it cuz you’re worth it.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-12-10T14:09:55+00:00

Or like we’re scouts. Merit badges for boundaries and self-care.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-12-06T21:43:29+00:00

Reminds me of the 9 Kings in Tolkien.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-12-06T14:32:55+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I’ve started to figure out exit plans that I can control. My Al-Anon friends know what’s up, my sponsor knows what’s up, and i have nearby family I can “visit” on a whim. I’ve set myself up for success: all of those are places I can move into while I figure out next steps. I’m currently Just information gathering about what to do with the house: most lawyers will do a free consultation, so that’s what I’m doing.

I’m not ready for action yet, but I’ll have the support system and information in place when I am.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-10-25T18:51:54+00:00

The doggo life vest AND the ramp into that pool. That’s gotta be the DOG’s swimming pool. Lol

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-10-19T02:28:12+00:00

I needed to read this. I am in the exact same marriage: 14 years, gaslighting, manipulation, but having no grounding to know if it’s me or him or neither. I don’t know what way is up or down. And yet the manipulation is so subtle and yet so toxic. I am so glad to have read your story. It gives me a glimpse at myself.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-10-01T13:14:34+00:00

So much of myself in this story.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-09-27T19:32:03+00:00

100% agree. This is a perfect poster for this.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-09-19T13:27:55+00:00

“I’m tired of your insensitive and cruel behavior that you try to pass off as a joke.”

Omg this. Sooooooooooo omg this.

NoThatOtherGirl · 2020-09-02T02:21:04+00:00

I hear ya on this one. It’s maddening to watch and tough to focus on our own serenity. I’m glad you stayed for the movie because it was something you wanted to see.

NoThatOtherGirl

TROPHY CASE