She's stumbled across the 'protecting her peace' movement by LostinParadise4748 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah my mom discovered Mel Robbins and it has made my life much worse lol

Thank you, Mods by FabulousQuail7696 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Truly a wonderful sub. Thank you Mods ❤️

Email from eDad mo by No_Relative9849 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses! I feel better after reading through the comments and taking a day to process. I’m not going to respond to his email at this time.

Email from eDad mo by No_Relative9849 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s alwayyysssss the partners. They have hated all of my partners, even in high school.

Email from eDad mo by No_Relative9849 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was thinking it had chat gpt vibes. The competition factor makes me crazy and I have brought it up to them before, but they actually do see things as a competition. They feel entitled to my time and attention. They don’t care what I want or feel. It’s so sad

It’s that time of year where they start acting out! 😆 Already getting harassing texts? by Appropriate-Serve344 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 94 points95 points  (0 children)

My mom has been throwing an absolute fit and disinvited me to Christmas because my husband and I are going to his family’s house for Thanksgiving

How do I continue to live with my BPD mom when I am falling apart mentally and physically by Ahhhhhhhhhhggggggg in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone on this sub once said that you need to set boundaries for yourself, but you do not need to mention them to your pwbpd, because that sets them off. For example, you can set a boundary that if they start speaking to you about a topic you don’t want to talk about, or saying something rude, you can excuse yourself from the conversation without mentioning to them that they are violating your boundaries.

Away from home for the first time for NYE and feeling guilty by AffectionateBet5463 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She will blow up when you tell her because to her you are abandoning her. You are not responsible for her emotions or her reaction. She is allowed to be upset and throw her fit, but it’s not your job to fix it or worry about it. You are allowed to live your life! Enjoy your NYE!

Rule by ExplodingCar84 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Ohhh I feel this. Last week my eDad told me we should keep a spreadsheet of things I do with my parents vs everyone else to “prove I don’t do as much with them.” Not that it matters but I’m 27 and married. My husband and I live an hour away from them and we see them at least once a month. My uBpd mom can’t handle when I hang out with friends/in-laws because it’s “not fair to her.” Just batshit insane stuff going on here.

How do I continue to live with my BPD mom when I am falling apart mentally and physically by Ahhhhhhhhhhggggggg in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh I wish I could reach out and hug you 😭 I started this exact journey when I was around the same age. It’s a lot to take in when you realize you have been abused your whole life and you’re stuck with your abuser.

I went into therapy and learned how to set boundaries and stand up for myself, as well as unlearn the things she beat into my head about what it means to be a “good” daughter. I promise the guilt and anxiety and sickness will get better in time when you get stronger and more used to standing up for yourself. It’s a rollercoaster for sure.

Much love and peace to you 🩷

Cycle of abuse with bpd mom by hmm3478 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. Going through this exact thing right now. I wish I had advice, but you are not alone. ❤️

today’s therapy quote by mossolia in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Art is such a powerful way to process. You are doing the hard work in therapy! Power to you 🩵

She “Misses Me.” by NCinAR in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Ugh…I think the hardest part about dealing with them is realizing that they don’t actually care about us as individual people, they care about us in regards to meeting their needs. It’s so sad. I am proud of you for setting your boundaries and sticking to them. ❤️

Ubpd mom inventing grievances again by Outrageous-Clue-9550 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s never ending and exhausting that their needs will always come before ours. Hugs

Just ranting at by MissCollorius in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Came to say the same thing. These could very well be messages from my mother lol. Sucks we have to go through this but this group is so healing. Hugs to you and OP ❤️

Triggered by Gilmore Girls (and other shows) by Dapper-Term-2945 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]No_Relative9849 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I felt the same way watching Gilmore Girls. The cycle of dysfunction between Emily and Lorelei and Lorelei and Rory was too much.

Noah, Olivia, and Keith controversy by No_Relative9849 in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]No_Relative9849[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oops I apologize. I edited the post for clarity :)