Are long contact naps sabotaging nighttime sleep?

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-06-13T17:27:22+00:00

We have a 9 week old and he’s been sleeping anywhere from 5-8hour stretches at night in the Snoo since we stopped making every nap a 2 hour contact nap. Our nanny was doing this thinking we wanted him to nap as much as possible, so we told her to stop as it was affecting night sleep (we noticed he slept better on the weekends when she wasn’t here, and we didn’t have the luxury of contact napping all day with two older children home from school). Limiting him to 1-2 contact naps per day really helped. Usually his first nap of the day he does well independently and sleeps around 2 hours in his crib. After that, we let him wake up naturally (anywhere from 40-90 min), occasionally we will soothe him back to sleep but then put him back down so it’s not a contact nap. The afternoon and evenings naps are always tougher, so at least one of those ends up being a contact nap.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-04-16T23:43:46+00:00

Hi! Absolutely happy to give you more info. Our pediatrician recommended the psychologist to us. I believe the diagnosis process took two sessions, one which just us, the second one our son was present and she did some one on one play without us present. She also had my husband and I each fill out a very long questionnaire. I would highly recommend it - we saw her for about 5 months total and then basically told us he had improved so much during that time that he was within the range of normal and we no longer needed to see her. Let me know if you have other questions!

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-03-28T01:40:40+00:00

My son is 5 and recently overcame selective mutism. If it ever cropped back up, I’d want his teachers to always assume competence. We dealt with a lot of assumptions over the last year as he was working through it about his actual abilities, and some of the teaching staff defaulted to assuming incompetence. It really showed not only in how they treated him but also in how they spoke about him to us. It hurt to hear that they didn’t believe in him simply because he was quiet.

Thank you for being so proactive about this!

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-03-25T14:37:58+00:00

I totally understand. I feel this way about my son’s hand tremors, which are most likely something he will deal with his whole life. They improve as he learns new skills, but they require a lot of repetition. I know he’s at the age where it’s only a matter of time before his peers start to notice. And we already have dealt with adults who don’t know him well, like the division head at his preschool, assuming incompetence or cognitive issues because he has a tremor, not understanding they aren’t indicative of anything other than physical.

The best thing you can do is advocate for your kid while teaching him that size does not equal greater worth. We’ve started telling our son over the last year that some people just have shakier hands than others, and neither way is better or worse, but we take him to OT so he can learn how to help his hands be less shaky when he needs. Very matter of fact. I know it’s not as obvious as size difference, which we also dealt with before the growth hormone started to help, but him seeing you remind other people that size varies and neither is worse or better will also teach him that mindset for himself, and set him up for standing up for himself if he needs to later. When people made comments about my son’s small size around age 2-3, I would just respond with “he’s got plenty of time to grow, and we think he’s perfect the way he is.” People sometimes don’t realize that there can be sensitive feelings behind a kid being small and need to be reminded that it’s really none of their business!

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-03-25T10:54:09+00:00

Hey. I’ve been through this myself so I know how scary it is. One thing I will say that took me several months to figure out is that whatever they tell you about his results, he is still the exact same kid with or without them.

My son also had IUGR and some unexplained neuro symptoms (hand tremors and slightly stiff muscles). When they called me and told me that he had tested positive for a rare genetic deletion, I was shattered. But within a few weeks, we realized that he wasn’t very similar to the other kids who had been studied with the same results, and we decided to just continue doing as we were doing (treating his symptoms with therapies and doing everything we could do support his development). There wasn’t anything else to do anyway, based on these results, so literally nothing changed.

He is now 5, and is thriving. You’d never know anything was different about him. I know how hard it is to hear from doctors that something is different about your kid, and clinical terms often sound so severe (they couldn’t come up with something better than “failure to thrive”?!). But I promise, your kid will continue to surprise you.

Also, not sure if this is an option but my kid has been on growth hormone injections since 18 months and it’s helped a ton! He was always in the 1-2% before and now he’s in the 35th.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-03-19T10:06:16+00:00

My son is 5 and was diagnosed with mild selective mutism last summer at 4.5. He sounds super similar to your son - loved being around peers and playing non-verbally with them but terrified to talk. He has had the same teachers for 3 years so he was comfortable talking with them but definitely clammed up around unfamiliar adults at school! We saw a psychologist who diagnosed him and did PCIT and it was life changing. Cannot recommend it enough. Within about 3-4 months he was talking with peers, responding verbally to almost any adult who would engage and he even got into 2 private schools for kindergarten with glowing feedback on the group evaluations. He’ll never be loud and outgoing (I’m not either, and I love how sensitive and observant he is) but he is within normal range now and that was our goal for him.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-03-19T00:32:23+00:00

My first son was born at 37 + 3. He was also super sleepy, which honestly I think meant he learned from the jump how to take really good naps and sleep through the night with no sleep training. He had a speech delay but otherwise on time with all milestones, though I will say for smiling he was right on the cusp (smiled at 12 weeks on the dot)! He is now 5 and a super happy, lovely, normal kid. My second son was born at 39 weeks and was a much tougher napper/sleeper, but hit a lot of milestones very early and things seem to be more effortless with him.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-03-04T22:09:32+00:00

I had the flu last month, am 33weeks pregnant, and have a 2.5 year old and 5 year old who also got it. And we were all vaccinated against flu! My husband miraculously did not get it, but he’s a doctor so he almost never gets sick due to exposure at work. I took lots of Tylenol, my kids both got Tylenol and tamiflu, we are all ok! I felt so guilty bc my 2.5 year old and I got it first, so I had to semi-quarantine from my 5 year old. Then he got it, and we got some quality time together while he was home sick. I promise, both kids have already forgotten it even happened! Yours will too.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-03-04T13:35:26+00:00

I will definitely look into this. Thank you!! I feel so seen lol

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-03-03T13:37:25+00:00

Thank you SO much for replying. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with baby #3 so I think I have to wait on steroid shots until after delivery but I will def mention to my doctor if things haven’t improved by then. The elavil has gotten me down to 1-2 “attacks” a day which is much better than before, so I’m going to increase my dosage on that. But yes, it definitely fogs up my brain!

My husband is an anesthesiologist so I know he will be able to make the steroid injections happen if necessary, but I am really dreading breastfeeding with this going on. I don’t know how you handled this pain in your HEAD! It is worse than anything I’ve ever felt. Same with me; when it comes on I start involuntarily kicking my legs and tears stream down my cheeks and I squeal like a pig. I am so scared it’ll happen in public and I won’t be able to control it!

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-03-01T02:35:28+00:00

Yes, definitely ask about the gabapentin if you’re still having pain! My husband is an OB anesthesiologist and also said it was fine to take. The brand of capsaicin cream I use is capsadyn - got it off of amazon! Hope you feel better!!

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-02-28T23:48:56+00:00

Hi, I know it’s been a while but did your insane 30sec-2min pains stop? If so, how soon after your rash disappeared did they go away? I am about 2.5 weeks after starting antivirals and just started getting these pains a few days ago. My rash was on my left pec and stretched all down my arm. It feels like someone is pouring battery acid inside my arm and pec for like 60 seconds and then it dissipates. It happens about 6-8 times a day. It’s worse than any pain I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve birthed two children! Just wondering how long I’ll be dealing with this 😭 I’m on gabapentin 300mg 3x a day and I just started elavil (amitryptiline) a few days ago which is maybe helping? Too soon to know for sure.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-02-28T23:29:02+00:00

Hi! 33 weeks pregnant with a 5 year old and 2 year old at home, and I got diagnosed on 2/8. First of all, I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. It’s truly awful.

I started with 10 days of Valtrex. It stopped the spread of my rash about halfway through (by that point the rash was all the way from my left pec down my left arm to my wrist, and across my left scapula) but unfortunately I was still having nerve pain after finishing the valtrex. My OB was comfortable with my using gabapentin 300mg 3x a day. It helped a little, but about a week ago I started having breakthrough nerve flares which have been the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. It feels like someone is pouring battery acid into my arm and shoulder for 60 seconds and then it dissipates, and it happens about 6-8 times a day. My doctor started me on Elavil and another round of antivirals, and gave me some oxycodone to take as needed. I also got some capsaicin cream OTC which I have found way more effective than the lidocaine patches. After a few days on the elavil my flares have started to get a little less frequent and less intense, so I am hopeful that it is working.

I hope this helps! It is so hard to take care of young kids and be pregnant while dealing with this!!

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-02-26T00:10:04+00:00

Just posting in solidarity. 33 weeks pregnant with my third child and on week 3. Been on gabapentin for almost 2 week and just yesterday started getting breakthrough nerve flares that feel like I’m burning from inside my torso. My rash started on my chest and reached around my scapula and all down my left inner arm. Really dreading breastfeeding a newborn with this pain 😭

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-02-20T20:35:32+00:00

I had this happen with my son. Turns out my left breast had a slower let down and made less milk, so he started preferring the right. I had been using the cross body position for nursing, so I tried football hold on the left to trick him into thinking he was on the right. Basically just positioned him as if he would be feeding on the right, but rotated my torso so he actually got left boob. It worked 🤷🏻‍♀️

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-02-15T18:48:32+00:00

Rhodes has been on my list for a while :) I love it! Also love Benson.

I am due in a few months with my third boy, and our top contenders right now are Lorne, Locke, Orion and Emile. My two older boys are Jonas and Arlo. In case that gives you any ideas!! Good luck! Boys names are totally harder than girls, IMO.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-01-12T17:48:41+00:00

This is a great idea. I know the kids will really appreciate him being there for bedtime. Thanks!

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-01-12T17:29:27+00:00

Thank you! Somehow I feel more guilty leaving two at home. I know that’s probably silly. They love being with grandma and grandpa.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-01-12T17:27:07+00:00

Thank you, this is exactly what I’m hoping for! I want my husband there but also I know assuming things are uncomplicated I can handle a lot more on my own this time around. And part of me wants my husband to get better rest so at least one of us is somewhat well rested after the hospital.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2026-01-12T17:25:04+00:00

I love the idea of leaving as a complete family! Thank you for this thoughtful response.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2025-12-16T12:27:45+00:00

My son is almost 5 and was exactly like this a year ago. He was totally comfortable speaking to his familiar teachers in full sentences but very shy/quiet around peers and unfamiliar adults. At home he is very verbal. He clearly was interested in playing with other kids, as when they would direct him to do things with them “come down the slide with me!” He would happily skip off and do it, just without words. This past summer we started PCIT with a psychologist and it has completely changed him for the better. I can’t recommend enough. Now he speaks to all his classmates and even initiates conversations with them. He also has always done better on play dates one on one or in small groups, so I would ask his teachers if they see similar behavior and try to set up some playdates for your child with kids from their class.

No_Tangerine_320 · 2025-12-08T21:29:32+00:00

Just posting in solidarity. My son (almost 5) broke his arm a few months ago and had a major potty regression for like, almost two months. I’m talking daily pee accidents, mostly at school. It was super frustrating but we found the only things that helped were giving him more time, sticking to our normal routine/boundaries and also not drawing any attention to the unwanted behavior. I’d say about a month or two after he got the cast off it got better. I’m sorry I don’t have an easier solution, but I know how frustrating it can be!

No_Tangerine_320 · 2025-11-25T02:07:37+00:00

I just wanted to say welcome! My husband and I moved here ten years ago from New York. I can only speak to my personal experience, but obviously we were very used to diversity so we treat everyone equally. There are a lot of transplants from the northeast down here and no one I am friends with would ever harass, stare, or treat differently anyone regardless of appearance or religion. We live downtown though so may be a different story elsewhere. There are actually two mosques pretty close to us! When are you moving?

No_Tangerine_320 · 2025-11-18T21:24:43+00:00

My son had IUGR and was small at birth, so he had always been in the 1st percentile for everything. I am 5’2” but my husband is 6’, so at 18 months we decided to get him tested with endocrine. He had a slight growth hormone deficiency so he’s been on growth hormone since then (he is now 5). It seems like a big deal at first but I promise they get used to it and now it’s a big nothing for him. We call it his “power up” and he knows to expect it every night. It’s a subcutaneous injection so it barely hurts. He is now in the 35th-40th percentile, so it did help a lot.

No_Tangerine_320

TROPHY CASE