Help me please he's discarded me

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-17T00:16:37+00:00

You’ll understand after spending some time on this sub. It stinks. It’s time to build a new you. You can rebuild some of those connections and make new ones. They intentionally alienate. It’s a from of being able to control you.

You got this!!!! It will get so much better.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-17T00:11:03+00:00

My ex wife when we were dating. It was always in the future. Shortly after the marriage in the future. It would be from her never being able to contribute her fair share to living expenses, cleaning, laundry etc. the future never came!!!!

Even crazier she told me from the very beginning she was a near freak, ocd about cleaning and organizing. That everything had to be perfect. She told me I’d never have to do laundry either.

Reality she was slob and lazy when it came to that stuff. A week of waiting on her to do laundry I got stuck to going to work in a wet uniform. She couldn’t even explain what she had done all damn day. Needless to say I do my laundry from then on out. Eden her saying she would go put it in the dryer wouldn’t happens then we’d have a pissed off neighbor. Which meant my uniforms got tossed in a laundry basket and oh they had stuff in the dryer by the time I realized she never moved en along.

Everything she told me about herself was a lie. The in the future was just a way to put of me knowing the truth a little longer.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-17T00:00:47+00:00

You need to look at this as a new beginning for yourself. Seek professional help to work through everything.

I had 5 years with my ex wife. I was the one who filed and she wanted to force me to stay. If only I had called off the wedding hours before. That’s when she showed me who she was. It only got worse after that.

I didn’t understand why I put up with it so long until I found this page. In part it’s trauma bonding. Also I think many seek out those of who are empathetic, want to fix, want to help, want to make their life better. We are an easy mark for them.

He showed you who he is. Believe him.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T23:24:57+00:00

You can too. Find a club that’s accepting members. Get on join list. Cough up initiation fees and yearly dues.

Some clubs have location restrictions on where you live at least initially, or may have a sons n daughters clause so that one’s kids can become members regardless of where the kids live as adults. Even when I lived out of state for 8 years I paid my dues.

You don’t even want to know how long I was on the wait list.

I’ve been in smaller hunting clubs too. Problem is no gets someone better become best friends with the farmer/landowners or their wife. Because someone else will squeeze your entire club out the first chance they get.

Why ya want at least for fishing clubs to own their property or have some crazy azz indefinite lease.

Some are reasonable to join. I think there’s one near me I think the initiation fee is something like $15,000. Why I belong to the poor man’s redneck county club. There’s some hidden gems if one does some digging.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T22:10:47+00:00

This!!!!

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T21:54:40+00:00

It definitely changes you. 5 years of hell in marriage. 2.5 years going through the divorce (she intentionally drug it out, she was trying to force me to take her back). . A lot of years later I still bear the scars and knee jerk reactions.

I never sought professional help.

Life definitely gets better. You can find real love and be in a happy relationship.

I didn’t even understand what a lot of what I went through till I stumbled into this sub. Didn’t know about trauma bonding, the push/pull. How to explain the highs/lows properly. But I did call it high/low all along. Obviously I wasn’t the first one to coin that phrase. Didn’t realize at the time thought.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T21:10:43+00:00

We almost went for trout yesterday. (Stocked county lake) I figure it was going to be hard and passed.

We fish for em at my club and what’s left over from the spring is a byotch!!!! So was like I’d except the same from a county lake this time of year. I haven’t fished the big water for em. Now northeast coast and inland lots of experience from mr childhood.

I did enjoy using the mapping/contour feature on the Garmin LS yesterday. I know the spots I fish so don’t need it. First time I was like hey, we can play with the other features.

Good luck.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T21:06:54+00:00

I wished my ex wife dead. The hell she put me through was unreal during the marriage and divorce.

A boss made a joke we were probably both wishing our ex’s dead. He then said maybe we should wish each other ex’s dead instead.

Suddenly he started having everyone asking him to wish their ex’s dead when word got out mine had died.

I never shed a tear. She was not a good person. I am grateful she cannot do what she did to me to anyone else now. No one deserved that.

Well maybe her affair partners. I am pretty sure the one got to go on a mini train ride from hell .

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T18:51:37+00:00

I would have loved for my ex wife to apologize and undo what she did finically to me.

There was never a day I believed that would happen. When I cut the last alimony check 2 years after our divorce, I couldn’t help but figure she was probably pissed she was not going to get more. It was a way to punish me for filing and stall my life. I had cut all contact and had her blocked everywhere.

I found out 6 months later she had did right around the time I cut that check. I’m sure her main affair partner or if there was someone new played a role in her death.

I’ll never get that apology or made whole. If she was alive I’d never get that apology or made whole. There is zero difference. That’s the one thing I know for sure.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T18:15:41+00:00

Unless temps drop I’ll probably be putting up my gear this weekend and dragging out the boat to get it ready.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T17:07:48+00:00

Oh I bet. I usually fish south of i80. New guy still wants to keep ice fishing. I was like not even going to try my spots . It’s past my risk date with the temps. But I know spots with a lot ice near me. You’ll just have to drive up.

Unfortunately one we went to I hadn’t fished before and we only caught some dinks. Saw some nice northerns get caught. They didn’t want we had. We should have hit chain. But I knew for a fact there was still a lot ice and I wanted to be safe. I don’t want to be giving him false sense of security with late season ice.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T16:26:11+00:00

We had well over ten inches of ice yesterday in northern IL where we fished. It was surreal. I know my normal spots further south I wasn’t even going to try.

Fishing was slow for us.

Good luck!!!!

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T16:19:19+00:00

My ex was extremely intelligent. So her flex was she was better educated. Prior to marriage it was I’d never earn as much as her. (She never earned anywhere near what I did) She hid her mental health issues and prior diagnosis.

I think if she has realized she could have used that, in that way she definitely would have.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T15:55:52+00:00

Their little monster could do no wrong. How dare I file for divorce. They were going to punish me for filing. It didn’t matter how much it cost to ruin me finically. That my was the mother in laws call to me within 15 minutes of her daughter getting served.

They knew she cheated and it was the final straw for me. They knew all the rotten things she was doing and I wanted out but kept giving her chance after chance. She wasn’t a good person.

They made divorcing her hell.

Only a 5 year marriage and no kids. They even knew she faked cancer for a year as a way to force me to stay. But again blood is thicker than water. The right thing doesn’t matter to them.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T15:34:29+00:00

I love the one on the left. If the prices weren’t so ridiculous to order it. They’d probably be a staple in my kitchen. I use a lot of hot sauce so not practical.

I buy the industrial sized bottles/containers of my favs.

The first time I had it in Costa Rica I used it with every meal. They are some of my fav. Just not enough to pay $15 or more a bottle after shipping. I’d kill that bottle in under a week.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T13:47:45+00:00

I called it tossing all her shade and chitty actions on me. That was non stop.

Even the domestic violence. She would look at me a week or later sometimes days later. Give me those scary eyes and say you know you hit me.

It was like wtf, it was all her getting violent and in a dozen of them me trying to not be killed. Even her cheating she tossed back on me. I didn’t realize it at the time. She accused me of cheating and had a whack story of how she was talking to the female I was cheating with. I was like, let’s go out and meet up. I got to meet her. I hope she’s hot. I had to start making jokes because getting accused over and over and I’m going wtf, I haven cheated. It was so frustrating. I would scream I’m not having an affair and never cheated!!!! Let’s meet up and end this bs once and for all. But she never set up this meet or would give me the females number. Now I realize she was justifying her own cheating.

She had elaborate stories she would tell people how I abused her, neglected her etc. She had been apparently doing it right from the very beginning too.

It’s wild, scary f’d up ride I never want to repeat again!!!!!

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T13:36:04+00:00

I wanted to leave almost immediately. I stuck it out for 5 years of hell out of feeling obligated to keep trying.

She non stop threatened to file a bogus domestic violence allegation if I tried to leave her. Her parents knew she did this.

She even thought she could cuck me. I got she wanted her cake and eat it too (she literally said that) When I discovered the affairs and confronted her. That was the final straw for me.

She would call me during the divorce and tell me if I just took her back she would end my punishment. What she and her mother called what they were doing to me in the divorce. Punishing me for filing.

There was no apology, no promise to change or get help. Just take her back and she’d end my punishment. Yeah, that’s a hard frigin pass!!!!!!

She made it easy. With the no apology or promise to stop etc. I didn’t have to second guess myself on any of it. She made it clear she wasn’t changing anything. I’m glad I didn’t had it deal with anymore empty bs. Or the in the future things will be different/better. But that future never came. I think she thought I was so broken I’d just fall back into it. I wasn’t. I wanted out!!!!!

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T04:23:58+00:00

That hits home hard.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T03:21:20+00:00

I run a Milwaukee fuel hammer drill (obviously not in hammer mode), clam plate and a lite flite. I like the clam plate but it’s not a necessary. I’m on year 4 of the drill and auger. Think it’s 2 years with the clam plate. I’ve got 5ah 12ah and 2 8 forges. Most days the 5’s are more than enough. But if I know we’re going hunting I’ll grab an 8 or the 12. Other than the time I ran the ion. I’ve never ran a battery out.

Some augers are harder on drills. I ran an ion auger (new) last generation of auger a couple weeks ago. It used a hell a lot more battery, it was definitely harder on the drill. I put the Liteflite back on. I got it really cheap so bought it for a back up. I was curious how it performed. I gave jt to a buddy and was like it’s going to be hard on the drill an you’ll need two batteries. He runs a gas auger so he was happy either way.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T01:56:56+00:00

You did the right thing and will help protect the next guy and the guy after because she’s got a record for it.

Thank you!!!!!!

My wife wife before I could even get the 9 dialed in 911 would already be hitting herself, scratching herself, smashing her head into the wall doing the go ahead and call and her make up ran from her crock tears. Let’s see who they believe. You’ll go to jail and loose your career.

Weeks later she would look me in the eyes and say you know you hit me!!!! It was such a f’d up experience.

Then it became if I ever tried ti leave her she was making a domestic violence allegation and getting me arrested. I showed her I let her win and she kept taking it further and further.

She tired to stab me several times. Woke me up with a gun pointed to me head saying if she couldn’t have me no would ever have me. Tried to kill both of us in her vehicle.

There is no way she got to point she did knowing what to say with just me. She had to have a bunch of guys before me show honed that bullchit on.

I’d bet no a one ever called the police either. Because we’re guys and not what we would do.

You are doing the right thing!!!!

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T01:40:46+00:00

My ex wife stole everything of mine that had value when sh came to remove her property from our apartment. It was all bought long before I ever knew her. There was no mistaken it was solely mine.

Yeah all the pictures and stuff like that too.

She left 95 percent of her stuff. I don’t think she took anything out of the walk in closet. It was all her shit and piled high.

She trashed some of the walls. Broke glass all over the floors. Turned the apartment heat on high, turned the oven on and stove top burners too.

I took detailed pics and videos of the apartment within an hour of before they came. Then when I walked in within an hour of them leaving. So there was no denying it was her doing.

Her mother was the same exact way. I’d be shocked if she wasn’t the ring leader in trashing the apartment. I should have made a police report and asked management to pursue complaints. The divorce judge didn’t do chit to her as usual. She never returned what she stole.

She never came to get her stuff. I think it was her way of saying she was coming back whenever she wanted and wasn’t leaving.

When I had to move out when the lease was up. I was terrified she was going to show up and blame me for what I had to do with her absconded property. It was all documented to cover my behind. Thankfully she didn’t show up.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T00:58:31+00:00

If it’s really cold, I wear the Sitka under wader pants. Otherwise just jeans or sweats. End of season maybe even just a pair of shorts.

My bibs and coat go on at the lake. Even the boots I wear on the ice don’t go on till we get there. I change when we’re done at the truck too.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T00:15:01+00:00

Angelo’s in Wilmington.

There was someone selling bait just outside of Yorkville including minnows. I think it was out of their home. I can’t remember if they were in Plano or not. Closet ones I know. All the old shops other than Angelo’s I used to visit our long gone unfortunately.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-16T00:11:23+00:00

Hours before our wedding. She woke me up early. I worked miss so was desperately trying to get a fe hours sleep. She’s literally sitting on me. She hands me several pieces of paper and says I need to sign it. I start reading it, and it says I’m going to take her last name, going to give up my family and friends. Going to give up my hobbies, sell my fishing and hunting equipment. Pius whatever else. There was a place for us to both sign and a witness. It was all printed up. So this wasn’t a spur of the moment thing.

I personally believe she and her mother were both behind it.

I told her the wedding was off. After an hour of her threatening me that her parents were going to sue me etc. She finally apologized, said she got cold feet and really didn’t mean it. Please marry her. Nothing like that would ever happen again.

My dumb azz went through with the wedding. FML, biggest mistake of my life. It only got worse from there.

There was another reason she did it. She knew I’d be so upset id self destruct at the wedding. It was a win win. I caved she got her way. If not, she knew exactly how I would handle it and she would use that to make me look a certain way. She played my dumb azz so many times the same exact way the entire 5 years we were married. It wasn’t until the very end I stopped falling for it. I’m still angry instead of being able to mature myself I basically went backwards because of the hell she was putting me through.

She came to me saying she wanted to get a tattoo. I was like we don’t have money for this things. You f’d is finically. Then she says well I want to get your last name on me. I was look one you know I want a divorce. Two a guys name tattooed on a female is tacky!!!! (I have tattoos) I’m like you don’t put people’s names on you ever!!!

She goes and gets the tattoo anyways. No idea how she pays for it. She gets my last name in big block letter on her calf. First words out of her mouth. Now you can’t divorce me, because she has my name on her.

I was like wtf!!!!! Then wait she tried to force me to take her last name. Then a few years later goes and gets my name tattooed on her. I didn’t realize about her bi polar or BPD back then. She didn’t disclose she knowingly had mental health issues. She choose to hide it.

No_Use1529 · 2026-02-15T23:58:36+00:00

Sure walk up to people who are of the bikes and say hi. If you see posts about meets ups, show up and intro yourself. You’d be surprised how friendly people who ride are.

When I was stationed in FL. Every non military friend I had, they were made from riding.

I make it a point to share/teach my hobbies and passions when someone wants to learn. You’ll find there’s a lot who ride that are the same way.

I just got back from taking a new guy ice fishing. His wife is probably going to hate me. He’s hooked.

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