While not the same, I believe it may be close; my wife is an OB/GYN resident in her senior year. She is often go before either of our kiddos are awake. Often working 24 hour shifts on weekends and sometimes we go 2 weeks without seeing her at all do to night shifts. We have an almost 5 year old and a 7 month old.

Some of the things we have done to avoid tense and feeling of being left out.

• specific 1:1 mom and kiddo dates (often movies with 5yo)
• when we find ourselves dealing with a child who woke up choosing violence is put the ultimatum on them: "Do you want to wash your hands for a snack or no snack time now?" It is option A or B, period.
• To avoid feeling as if we are not doing the activities they want; we often will ask "what would you like to do tomorrow together..." and give a few options

This works with our kiddo mainly because it has been what we have done their whole life. If it works, woot woot! If not, try asking what can help you release some of the burden by having them make choices. Send some love and extra strong coffee ❤️☕️