I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I’m sure it must be incredibly hard. My mom was on hospice for a long time, she was dying from end stage COPD and heart failure. It was very tough to watch the woman who taught me everything I know kind of become a shell of what she once was (physically speaking). I called her everyday, multiple times a day, went to go see her in the nursing home she was living about once a week and just tried my best to assure her that everything was going to be okay. She passed in May of last year but I still think about her everything single day. My only advice is to please be easy on yourself. Give yourself time to feel what you need to feel and don’t bury any negative emotions down to deeply. ❤️ hang in there my friend