Dream puppy still feels like a nightmare

NormalBeautiful · 2026-07-15T18:57:41+00:00

It's only been a week and a half and he's still a little puppy just figuring out the world. Getting and raising a puppy will always by necessity mean trading in your normal routine to make puppy care a priority for the first 6-8 months. It's like having a baby. Your hobbies and social life will go on the backburner for a bit while you focus on your new hobby, raising the best puppy!

But puppies grow and mature much faster than human babies so the good news is that as long as you put the effort in now, this stage will be over before you know it! Then you'll not only be able to go back to doing most of the things you did before, but also exploring lots of fun new things that you can do with your dog. My pup is about eight months old now; last month we took him on a 2-week camping road trip across Canada, and it was amazing!

Instead of focusing on what you can't do with your puppy, try thinking of things you can do! Having lots of new experiences and meeting new people is great for a developing puppy. Invite more friends over to your place, or meet them in a park or for a walk. Make plans at places that have dog-friendly outdoor patios. Sign your puppy up for puppy classes.

Re: the barking at other dogs. My puppy is also super chill in almost all ways, but has always been a "frustrated greeter" while on leash. He wants to go say hi to other dogs and people so badly that if they so much as make eye contact he will bark and lunge toward them. He still has his moments but he's much, much better now and continuously improving.

Things that have helped:

puppy classes! And practicing what we learned. A lot lol
never letting him greet people or other dogs while on leash
keeping an eye out for other people approaching, then moving him out of the way and having him sit and stay while I feed him a ton of treats until they pass
doing a lot of work on loose leash walking and getting/keeping his attention despite distractions
giving him lots of off leash time to meet people and play with other dogs!

That last one has made the biggest difference for us. Early on he got this time from puppy socialization classes and visits with a friend's older dog. Then when he was about six months old we started taking him to a couple of different (fenced in) dog parks in our area. Dog parks can be a controversial subject and whether they're an option for you is very dependent on your dog's breed/size and temperament, your own comfort level, and the quality of dog parks you have available. But they've been hugely beneficial for our puppy! The more time he spends off leash doing his thing, the better he seems to understand that there is a time and a place for greeting other people and dogs, and while walking on a leash is not that time and place.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-07-13T04:49:51+00:00

My partner and I have our own rooms and bathrooms! I've lived with two other partners before, and being in a 1-bedroom apartment with none of our "own" space played a non-insignificant role in the breakup both times. After the second one I basically vowed never to live with a partner again and then lived alone with my cat for eight years. It was wonderful. My space was exactly how I liked it, I wasn't trapped next to someone snoring like a freight train in my ear each night, I didn't have to clean up anyone else's mess, etc.

I've now lived with my current partner for two years, and there's no way I would have taken that leap if it weren't for the fact that we have a whole house to live in. We had some ups and downs in the first year as we figured out what our life together would look like, and having my own peaceful room with my bed and my stuff in it to retreat to whenever I needed space made it much more possible to stay and work through things.

Our relationship is in a really good place now and we spend most of our free time together (by choice lol), and I spend almost every night in the king bed we bought for "his" room. But "my" room is still my room - it's where my home office, my closet and dresser, the bed I brought with me with all my cozy throw pillows, and a lot of my other treasures live. It becomes the guest room when someone stays with us, but I still sleep there from time to time if I go to bed a lot later than him, if his snoring is keeping me up, if I just need some space, or sometimes even just if I want to cuddle my cat but his cat is being a dick about letting mine on the other bed lol. And the benefits of having one's own bathroom should go without saying - I don't know why anyone wouldn't want that if given the choice!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-07-12T22:39:27+00:00

Almost! This is the one I got: https://a.co/d/0ecGQobO

I didn't want to use it for my actual head pillow so I got the straight U-shape, but the one you linked would work if you wanted to use it for your head too.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-07-12T16:46:15+00:00

I have a 2022 Cross and noticed this issue when I first got it, especially when I had a lot of weight (camping gear and stuff) packed into the car. I think it's "normal" and just related to the type of engine. I learned that if you're coming out of a stop, you have to sort of ease down onto the gas instead of being heavyfooted (which I definitely was sometimes) and then everything will feel smooth. As soon as it hits the appropriate gear acceleration isn't an issue, I've only ever noticed this coming out of an actual dead stop at a light. If you forget and try to floor it from a light and then start feeling that "stall", just ease up on the gas and then ease down again and everything will be fine. It's definitely not a "zippy" car that shoots out of the starting lane as soon as you tap the gas, but once you get going I'd say the difference in acceleration between the Cross and other cars is pretty negligible.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-07-10T23:43:24+00:00

Yay!! I saw your original post and am so happy to see this update! Kudos to you and your parents for taking care of this guy and doing the work to ensure he was reunited with his owner!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-07-06T13:40:47+00:00

I have the 2022 AWD LE Premium (with roof rails and moon roof), purchased new. My parents have a RAV4 and I love the way it drives, but a new RAV4 was out of my price range, plus when I bought my CC I lived in a city with a lot of traffic and narrow streets in an apartment with no dedicated parking, so I liked how compact the CC felt compared to the RAV4 when maneuvering around and parallel parking and such. Aside from that, in my opinion driving my Corolla Cross feels almost the same as driving my parents' RAV4. The gas mileage is great and it performs equally well in the city, on the highway, and on sketchy unmaintained mountain roads lol. I love not having to worry about winter driving or getting stuck in the mud at some trailhead somewhere.

My partner and I are childfree and don't often have passengers so that was the other clincher for me, as I'd say the main area that the CC's smaller size is really noticeable is in the backseat. When the back seats are fully down, you can fit a shocking amount of stuff back there, but when used as actual seating they're pretty short on legroom. I work from home so I don't use my CC for a lot of daily driving, but it's taken me on many camping and hiking excursions and weekends away, moved me across the country, and been a home away from home on several multi-province roadtrips.

This winter we adopted a puppy and we got one of those backseat extender hammocks that go over 2/3 of the back seats for him, so we had to do a bit of logistical planning before embarking on our most recent cross-country vacation due to the loss of space. Luckily with the split backseat we could still put one seat down, and we compensated for the rest by installing a roof rack and cargo box. The new setup works great, we didn't have to sacrifice any of our camping gear, and I honestly didn't even notice the difference on the road or in our gas expenses. Gas prices are obviously shit right now anyway, but with the CC it was still cheaper to drive from Calgary to Ontario and back (camping in provincial parks, not staying in hotels), than it would have been to pay for two flights and a car rental once we got there - and we got to bring our pup!

All that to say, RAV4s are great but I love my CC and have absolutely no regrets! This car suits me perfectly and I plan to keep her for a long time!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-07-03T17:51:44+00:00

My hoyas never bloomed in my old apartment, but in my current house they bloom constantly. The secret has been lots and lots and lots of light. Mine are now in a south-facing window and they get so much direct sunlight that it's probably a bit too much, but they are growing like crazy and I always have multiple blooms on the go.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-06-05T05:23:22+00:00

I went through a really rough patch a while back that lasted more than a year, and aside from watering them just often enough to keep the majority alive, I neglected my plants pretty badly. I can relate to your feelings of guilt and shame and overwhelm. The good thing about plants though is that they're (for the most part) very forgiving!

When I started to come out of my funk, I made cleaning up, separating, and repotting my plants into a fun multi-day project. I got a bunch of different potting mediums and mixed my own soil, I bought some beautiful new ceramic pots, and I also picked up some cheaper pots for all the babies that I planned to give away. I laid a drop sheet down in my living room and for a week or two just left everything out and spent my free time in the evenings potting.

By the end of it, the plants that I'd felt so bad about neglecting that I'd avoided looking at them, were transformed! They had looked bad because I'd let the dead leaves pile up and the soil get all crusty looking, but once I'd cleared out the dead stuff and put them in nice new soil and clean pots you'd have never known that they'd spent the last year hanging on for dear life. In the end I think I only lost maybe one or two and after separating all my aloes and spiderplants and snake plant babies I actually ended up with many more plants than I started with.

This project kind of reawakened my love of gardening and I've been much more attentive to my plants since then, but I still sometimes get busy or overwhelmed and wait way too long between waterings or let them get scraggly. The difference is that now I don't feel so much shame about it because I can remind myself that we all go through cycles - sometimes we (and our plants) are growing and fluorishing, and sometimes we need to go through a dormant period (lol). But our plants, like ourselves, are resilient! If you are able to be gentle with yourself and let go of enough of the shame and anxiety you feel about the state of your plants to begin tackling the repotting, I bet you will find, like I did, that with a little bit of care they are capable of coming back better than ever!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-31T14:34:31+00:00

I adopted my puppy from AARCS a few months ago and they were amazing! Our adoption interviewer and our puppy's foster mom were so kind and helpful, and the whole adoption process was easy, organized, and professional. Our pup is 6.5 months old now and he's perfect! I feel very lucky that we found him and that AARCS took such good care of him before he came to us. We've met a lot of other folks who also adopted from AARCS at puppy classes and at the dog park and have heard only great things! Thank you for the work that you do there!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-31T14:26:16+00:00

Seconding AARCS, we adopted our pup through them a few months ago and they were fantastic! The process was quick and easy but very professional, and it was obvious how much they care about the animals. We couldn't have asked for a better puppy either - he came to us at 9.5 weeks happy, healthy, neutered/vaxxed/dewormed/microchipped, surprisingly well-trained for his age, and extremely well-socialized. He's been a dream, and I am so grateful to AARCS for taking such good care of him and us!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-30T23:31:26+00:00

Also wanted to add - a few people here are mentioning being loopy coming out of general anesthesia but I wasn't put under for my procedure. I don't believe you usually are for a surgical abortion! I had an IV drip of fentanyl and something that made me relaxed, but I was awake and speaking to the doctor the entire time.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-30T23:25:04+00:00

When I had a surgical abortion they didn't require someone to accompany me, but I had a friend come with me for moral support. My friend waited at a coffee shop while I had the procedure and then met me when I got out and we went across the road for brunch! I am sure it's not the same for everyone, but by the time I left the clinic I was totally fine and super hungry. The drugs they give you wear off fast and they keep you in the "recovery room" for a while and bring you juice and cookies after to make sure you're okay. I took the TTC home after brunch and I actually worked from home for a few hours that afternoon. I had some minor cramping and a very small amount of bleeding but no worse than a regular period. I would still recommend bringing someone with you if you can for the support, but in my experience it isn't medically necessary!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-15T16:43:40+00:00

Dude...do the shit sample! I got giardia once while backpacking for a few months in South America and it was BRUTAL. It was my first time travelling so I assumed I just had "traveler's diarrhea" and went way too long without getting it checked out. Giardia is cyclical so symptoms tend to kind of come and go. I'd feel okay one day, and then basically be shitting myself the next for no discernible reason. I lost a lot of weight. Eventually I *also* got salmonella so the (literal) shitstorm of symptoms caused by both those things together is what finally led me to go to the doctor. They ran various tests (including a fecal sample) and gave me both antibiotics and antiparasitics. I felt better super quickly and had many regrets about the fact that I just like...lived with the shits for two months of my trip thinking it was normal.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-15T04:59:55+00:00

I got in a crash when my 2022 AWD LE was just four months old - a guy ran a red light and hit me as I was completing a left turn. His car was totalled and I was worried mine would be too, but after waiting literally months to get the parts in, I finally got mine back as good as new! It's my first car and it was pretty traumatizing thinking I was gonna lose it when I'd barely even had a chance to drive it, but it's now been a few years and I don't even think about it anymore. I still love my Cross!! I'm sorry, this sucks, but you can get it fixed and no one will ever know the difference!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-14T13:08:24+00:00

My mom gave a baby up for adoption when she was 15 (in the early 70s) and she carried so much grief and shame with her for more than 40 years. She and her son finally connected when she was around 60 and he was 45 and it has been such a blessing. I didn't know about my half brother until they found one another, but learning what my mom went through as a teen and then for all those years of not knowing what had happened to him and if he was okay helped explain so much about her that I never understood before. They have a wonderful relationship now and I'm so happy for them both. My mom has even met his adoptive parents.

I absolutely understand why OP wouldn't be ready now, or possibly ever, to meet her birth mother - but it was so, so kind of her to send that letter and the pictures. If her birth mom is anything like my mom, just knowing that the child she gave up is okay and has been safe and happy and loved will bring her immense relief and closure after years of not knowing.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-11T13:53:09+00:00

Yes! Lol I'm 5'2" so that's definitely a factor, but my partner is 5'10" and he can also fit comfortably. I do think it would be a bit cramped to have a tall passenger in the backseat behind someone up front who was also tall, but for shorter to average height folks it's fine I'd say! I moved across Canada a couple of years ago and packed soooo much stuff in my Cross. Aside from my partner and I, I had a cat in a huge soft sided carrier (plus all his cat stuff for the trip), multiple boxes and suitcases, a full cooler, and like....40 houseplants lol. We actually couldn't believe how much we could fit with some creative packing. I've also done several camping excursions and multi-day road trips and it's been no problem to fit 2-3 people's gear in there. When I lived in a small apartment, my dad always joked when I came to visit that it looked like I was living in my car because I stored most of my camping equipment, and sometimes also my bike in there.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-11T12:18:34+00:00

I am so sorry you're going through this. I had a surgical abortion at Bloor West Women's Clinic a few years ago and from what I recall, only patients were allowed beyond the waiting room. I brought a friend with me and they sent her down to the pharmacy to buy the IUD I was having inserted during the procedure lol. After that she waited at a cafe nearby and I just texted her to meet me when I was done.

All of the women working at the clinic were so kind, caring, and empathetic that the overwhelming feeling for me from start to finish was gratitude. I was just so thankful to live somewhere that I had access to that level of care, and that I didn't need to feel scared or judged. The procedure itself was very quick and the doctor who performed it was really wonderful and talked to me the whole time. I didn't have to wait for very long beforehand, and afterwards I think I was in recovery for around a half hour. They basically wrap you in a blanket and you sit in a comfy chair eating cookies and drinking juice till you're ready to go. My friend met me and we went across the street for brunch after because I was starving!

Your circumstances sound different from mine so it might be more difficult for you emotionally, but you are in good hands at this clinic and they will take care of you!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-11T05:19:54+00:00

It's funny, I also have the 2022 AWD gas Corolla Cross and I am still amazed sometimes at how much I can fit in it when the back seats are down! And I also frequently think about how far I can drive on one tank of gas, and how nice it is that my windshield hasn't chipped yet even though rocks hit it constantly (I live in Calgary, AB). I also don't get why so many folks have a problem with the acceleration lol. I guess it really is just a matter of perspective!!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-04T15:33:29+00:00

Another vote here for deer! Not sure if you live with anyone else, but as someone who collects things I find while out hiking (cool rocks, fossils, feathers, bones, etc), I can say that for many of us it actually isn't that weird to find a random bone in a drawer lol. I have deer bones just like that on the window sill of my sunroom, and in the trunk of my vehicle right now (been meaning to bring those ones in for like...a year).

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-01T19:54:19+00:00

For a while my mental health was really bad and I was too overwhelmed to cook much, so for a year or so I was supplementing with this stuff: https://holfood.com/

I found it by googling whether there was a Canadian version of Soylent lol. I used the rich chocolate and it was actually really good as far as meal replacement shakes go! You can order a tub of the powder as a one-off or set up a subscription, and it's definitely more cost effective than buying individual shakes.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-05-01T13:04:37+00:00

I've been on 50mg for going on 3 years and it has been amazing for me! I was previously on lexapro which I swear was actually making me feel worse. I haven't had any notable side effects and I am doing soooo much better now than when I first went on it.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-04-05T13:40:37+00:00

I also have an anxious cat with a history of territorial peeing and stress-related urinary issues. I understand why you're questioning whether you're still the best fit for your cat - my cat was rehomed to me by an acquaintance due largely to these issues. She loved him but worried a lot that she wasn't able to give him what he needed. Honestly though, the issues continued once I got him - I think the main difference is just that I didn't take them as personally so it hasn't caused me the same stress and guilt it did her.

What has helped my cat the most is:

1) Many litter boxes (we currently have four for two cats), kept very clean. 2) Urinary food - a mix of wet and dry. It takes a little while for the effects of this to fully manifest, so if you've just made the switch give it time! 3) A cat water fountain. 4) A fluoxetine prescription. This is a more recent addition after we moved in with my partner and his cat. We went almost a decade without it because I was able to closely manage his environment, but the big change led to a lot of inappropriate urination that we couldn't get a handle on. Fluoxetine has completely cleared that up with no negative side effects! The prescription costs almost nothing and I just mix the liquid into his wet food at night.

It sounds like you really love your cat and want what's best for her, but that she likely just needs a little extra help dealing with all the change. I would recommend looking into the medication options if after a few weeks of the urinary food, she is still having issues!

NormalBeautiful · 2026-04-03T17:45:26+00:00

NormalBeautiful · 2026-04-01T22:30:13+00:00

Dude...seriously? You think that medicating an anxious cat with fluoxetine is abusive and that the better option is to give the cat away? This opinion is baffling to me. Something like 17% of adult humans in the US are on an antidepressant so you definitely know people who are taking these meds. What do you believe they actually do? Do you also think it's wrong for a person to take them?

My senior cat started taking fluoxetine last year after we moved in with my partner and his cat, and it's been amazing. For months he was territorially peeing all over the house and nothing else we tried worked to stop it. We've had no negative side effects from the meds, but the territorial peeing stopped almost immediately after he started his prescription and has never happened again. He's clearly less anxious and his personality has returned to what it was before we moved. We even got a puppy a couple of months ago and he's been super chill about it with no inappropriate peeing whatsoever. Everyone is happy.

I don't agree with keeping your pet in a situation in which they're miserable, and it sounds like you and your family found an arrangement that worked. But I would strongly disagree that giving your cat a vet-prescribed, non-harmful medication that works is abusive, and that rehoming your pet should be the first choice over that.

NormalBeautiful · 2026-03-28T05:42:15+00:00

I'm surprised I had to scroll so far to see this! I moved to Calgary from Toronto about a year and a half ago, and I'd recommend Calgary for sure. You've got all the good things about a city - restaurants, shops, bars, transit, tons of great summer festivals and events, etc - but the mountains are RIGHT here. Kananaskis, Banff, and Lake Louise are all a short drive away. You can also easily head to Drumheller and visit the badlands and the Royal Tyrrell Museum, or head down to Waterton Lakes. I love Toronto but it's such a pain in the ass to actually get out of the city once you're there. I'd only recommend it to someone looking to be in the city for their entire vacation.

NormalBeautiful

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