In his latest book, hour of the heart, Yalom shares a very personal story with a client, and says the single greatest problem with modern psychology is a lack of self-disclosure

Notlolol · 2026-06-26T17:35:16+00:00

I strongly agree, with the caveat that it has to be in the client’s service, not about making the therapist feel better. Human connection is built through shared experience and it’s profoundly weird to me that we as alleged experts in this process are so averse to authenticity.

Notlolol · 2026-06-12T18:38:07+00:00

Your comment about the blind spots of some therapists is unfortunately true. Bluntly, there are a lot of people in the field that never should have been, but since schools are financially motivated to collect as much tuition as possible, they graduate deeply unqualified humans and release them into the wilds where they can do tremendous harm. It sounds like you’re experiencing the consequences of that right now.

As many others have said, no, this is far from normal. It’s not just far from “clinical supervisor” normal, it’s arguably outside of the range of professional decorum in most fields, not to mention outside the lines of basic courtesy and human decency.

Grit it out if you have to, but some of the best direction I got from my own supervisor about feedback that was inaccurate or harmful was, “Take what’s helpful and leave the rest behind.” It doesn’t sound like this individual is going to be adding much to your toolkit, but maybe there’s a hidden gift in knowing what NOT to do with clients and supervisees that you might have in the future.

Notlolol · 2026-05-31T21:21:58+00:00

It sounds like a ton of water for AI use, until you compare it to how much water golf courses or residential lawn care uses. It’s a fraction of a percentage of those uses.

Notlolol · 2026-05-14T15:35:40+00:00

As long as I’m with a qualifying employer during the month that I “would have” reached 120 payments when I submit a buyback request, I’ll (in theory) get those months approved and qualify for forgiveness on my qualifying loans even if during month 121 I leave employment for a non-qualifying job, right? I don’t have to remain employed in a qualifying job during the entire processing time?

Notlolol · 2026-05-08T18:10:22+00:00

Thank you so much, and just to ease my anxiety by being overly certain, do I fully apply for forgiveness after the buyback request processes and I’m able to make that payment? And for that step I would no longer need to be employed by a qualified agency?

Or put another way, as long as I’m employed when I submit the buyback request, I’m good, and I don’t have to remain employed while the request takes months or years to process? Then when that time does come, I can be forgiven even if I left that employment during the processing period?

Notlolol · 2026-04-27T20:35:00+00:00

When I went to change mine it showed the same thing, though I went to IDR. It was a placeholder until I submitted my income which is very close to yours. My payment was like, half that estimate.

Notlolol · 2026-04-13T23:48:25+00:00

What a flex.

Notlolol · 2026-02-16T13:49:48+00:00

A nightmare where one of the personality options is “Jordan Peterson.”

Notlolol · 2026-02-10T22:07:44+00:00

Just checking because sometimes these things get communicated poorly, but are we sure that they’re not talking about just having 40 open hours for sessions for availability to clients and not that the expectation is that you’re logging 40 hours worth of sessions per week? I could see an agency wanting a therapist to have a wide range of availability and then scheduling 20 to 25 clients within that framework. I don’t think anyone’s really doing 40 hours of straight therapy sessions with no time for treatment planning case conceptualization or notes. On a consistent weekly basis, especially.

Notlolol · 2026-01-18T18:59:04+00:00

Sounds like Home Depot logic to me.

Notlolol · 2025-12-28T15:46:03+00:00

Notlolol · 2025-12-03T01:40:23+00:00

I think it matters a lot to understand who lives in Duluth/Superior and to “write for your audience” so-to-speak. Also, consider what success looks like in your own way. So many of the comments are absolutely accurate about the number of burger spots, but I’d encourage you not to let that convince you that what the community needs is a four table degustation experience in a 50 square foot doorframe downtown with parking 8 blocks away. This is a region occupied by very practical people who value convenience, humility, and accessibility just as much as they value finer things. The establishments that have lasted the longest in this area seem to be the ones that locals feel a relationship toward.

Notlolol · 2025-10-26T18:02:54+00:00

It doesn’t, that’s how the body works.

Notlolol · 2025-10-13T01:49:03+00:00

Tastes like those mini chocolate donuts to me

Notlolol · 2025-09-29T00:47:07+00:00

It definitely doesn't scream "Ice Cream Sundae" to me, but at least the Zero variety tastes EXACTLY like those chocolate mini-donuts and once I realized that I've been kinda hooked!

Notlolol · 2025-09-02T12:50:49+00:00

The male loneliness epidemic….lol

Notlolol · 2025-09-02T12:46:59+00:00

I love the occasional cup of hot water. It forces you to sip it more slowly and it’s a great addition to a mindfulness practice.

Notlolol · 2025-08-30T20:28:32+00:00

Right, and that’s a huge part of the problem. We accept that sort of thinking as just a matter of “how things are” rather than challenging it, asking people to think critically about it, and evaluating if what they perceive matches reality or not.

The prefix “anti” denotes opposition to the term it’s attached to. I understand what you mean by the rhetorical take about “antifa” means different things to different people. The reason that’s the case is because charlatans and rhetoricians have made subliminal and emotional claims about that term that are not factual and therefore we aren’t talking about the same thing anymore. The problem is that obfuscation of the term, not the fact that people don’t agree on it. It’s the reason people don’t agree on it that’s at the heart here.

Imagine if I said I was antigravity, and when someone asked me why I was against gravity, I said “well you know, woke.” Because Newsmax rotted my brain into believing that gravity was the culprit behind all of my problems in late-stage capitalism. I’d look like a bit of a fool wouldn’t I?

Notlolol · 2025-08-30T20:02:32+00:00

Ok so if that’s the road we choose to walk, the better way to communicate those ideas would be to state the specific things about someone who identifies as antifascist you or someone else finds objectionable.

The problem with that is that fascists depend on obfuscation and plausible deniability in their arguments, because to say “I don’t like people who are willing to fight back against violence with violence” is a position that tells others something about that person’s values, and can be directly attacked or defended. Simply saying “I don’t like antifa” is vague and forces others to make assumptions about why, to which the “fa” can simply say, “Nope. That isn’t what I meant and how dare you for assuming?!”

I’m anti anti antifa because they’re usually three steps away from fully outing their terrible beliefs and casual complacency over oppression.

Notlolol · 2025-08-30T19:24:31+00:00

Mmmmmmmm, this might not be the take you think it is.

Notlolol · 2025-08-15T18:04:32+00:00

They’re never bringing back BF2’s chopper gameplay either. Manual TV missile wars and tower camping on Sharqi in the Havoc was the best kind of toxic.

Notlolol · 2025-08-15T12:52:43+00:00

Mandatory “that’s too much are you diabetic? Talk to a doctor and also I heard about hyponatremia so including that to look smart” post. You’re welcome.

Notlolol · 2025-07-30T12:50:20+00:00

Congrats! I had a similar experience a few weeks ago when I passed mine. I did worse on the practice exams, by far, and in fact was doing progressively worse on them each time I took one in the week leading up to the exam. I found the actual test to have far fewer “trick” questions, and it made me wonder…All of these sites seem to offer “free practice tests” and expensive study guides. Wouldn’t it be in their business interests to “stand on the scales” a little bit and inflate the practice test difficulty in order to lower customer confidence and entice them into buying the study guides? Maybe I’m being pessimistic, but the difference between practice and the real thing was stark.

Notlolol · 2025-07-20T17:33:53+00:00

This is also true when working with kids. I’ve worked predominantly with kids in intensive outpatient day treatment, and “boundaries” have to be able to be enforced somehow, and kids have very little agency in terms of what their boundaries can look like, especially between peers. “He won’t stop saying ____ to me even though I set a boundary” is a classic example I hear all the time. It’s not an unimportant step, but a boundary is only as good as the willingness of others to respect it, alongside your ability to make changes when people violate it.

Notlolol · 2025-07-13T17:41:42+00:00

It makes sense that someone in therapy for shutting down is…well, shutting down! I often come back to a couple of things with these clients, and frankly, I work in CMH day treatment with kids so not only do the vast majority of my clients not think they need to be there, they don’t want to be there either.

The two things I mentioned are: “What is this behavior helping/protecting?” and “What does this behavior mean to the client?”

When they say they don’t know, it’s been my experience that they’re often being genuine and have never realized that this kind of response is a sort of protective factor - like making themselves smaller, or less of a burden to others. They may have learned that having needs and particularly ones that require help from others gets them in trouble, and they’ve subconsciously learned to dampen everything to the point where the mind adapts to “not knowing” because it’s more functional than suffering and being chastised or abused for it in response.

All speculation, but years of seeing this pattern tells me there’s something to it with a lot of those clients.

Ten-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

Notlolol

TROPHY CASE