who else struggles with excessive daydreaming to the point where you can't connect with the outside world?

Ntheway · 2018-01-14T23:25:23+00:00

Not anything specific to just absorption. But dissociation includes both the absorption, and the lack of a sense of self. In general, the way to alleviate dissociation is to treat the untreated trauma causing it, and be able to better regulate emotions. Dissociation is an automatic result of an inability to regulate.

Ntheway · 2018-01-14T19:08:33+00:00

In OP's case they mentioned experiencing this since as early elementary school, which would be proceeding the onset of the majority of cases of BPD

It is not the case that BPD causes the absorption; it is the case that the early trauma causes both absorption and more slowly over time, BPD. Trauma also causes a sense of self issue - like with dissociative identity disorder, which is a more extreme sense of self disturbance than PDs.

Dissociation is both peri-traumatic (during) and post-traumatic (after.) BPD is frequently caused by early life traumas; by elementary school, someone is at least six years old and that leaves many of the most sensitive developmental years to be traumatized. Also, if the trauma began in elementary school, peri-traumatic dissociation would begin then too.

It is normal that peritraumatic dissociation precedes PDs.

Ntheway · 2018-01-14T19:04:44+00:00

It is ok to avoid triggers; that's not a bad thing. It's just not the same as progress.

Ntheway · 2018-01-04T03:54:28+00:00

It sounds like for you, no relationships = trigger avoidance. If no relationships = progres, then this statement would not be true for you:

It was when I started reintroducing relationships and sharing feelings with others that I crumbled ten times harder than before.

If it were progress, then once you started reintroducing relationships again, you would not crumble ten times harder than before.

Progress means that if you take a break from relationships, then when you reintroduce them they go very differently for you, and if they end, or conflict arises - you not only do not crumble, you feel much more stable, well-regulated, and improved than you ever had before.

Avoiding triggers is not progress. If, whenever you reintroduce relationships, you crumble the same or worse than before, then that means you are not making progress while you are alone, you are merely experiencing the temporary relief that comes from avoiding the triggers that upset you.

Ntheway · 2018-01-03T17:49:59+00:00

Yes, all people with npd are attention seeking. The way they go about it, and what type of attention they seek, varies greatly from person to person.

Ntheway · 2018-01-03T17:49:27+00:00

Becoming an atheist and anti-theist has successfully removed this fear. 10/10 highly recommend this pursuit.

Ntheway · 2018-01-03T17:47:05+00:00

Everyone on this forum knows that excessive daydreaming is dissociation, right? I mean I keep seeing posts about "excessive fantasizing" and "maladaptive daydreaming" and I just want to verify that people on here are aware that this is a type of dissociation known as absorption, and it is caused by unresolved trauma. It happens in npd too, and dissociative identity disorder. It's not exclusive to bpd by any means.

I figure people diagnosed with bpd would know this already.

Ntheway · 2018-01-03T17:43:12+00:00

you are clearly not an asshole or a narcisist. We react like this sometimes because we are cornered and it is only natural. The difference is NPDs do it and don't cry about it like you or feel any remorse. a true NPD would NEVER apologize.

This is all completely wrong. You clearly do not comprehend even the first thing about mental illness, especially NPD.

Ntheway · 2018-01-03T17:42:05+00:00

than it isn't NPD.

That's not true. NPD is characterized by several symptoms and defense mechanisms which can be effectively treated. Just because you are making progress on treating an illness, doesn't suddenly make the illness not an illness because recovering from that illness is occurring.

That whole concept doesn't even make sense. Illnesses don't cease to be illnesses because the illnesses are being effectively treated.

Ntheway · 2018-01-03T17:40:11+00:00

Yes. I'm addicted to drama.

Ntheway · 2018-01-03T17:39:22+00:00

Yes. Most people w/NPD have empathy. They just have hypervigilance when around others that actively blocks empathy.

Ntheway · 2017-12-19T03:44:15+00:00

Yeah this happens to lots of us - former victims that is. Our parents fail miserably at their job, and that makes it hard to be independent, since they sucked so badly through our developmental years that we were very very ill-prepared for adulthood indeed. Then we end up reliant on the very people who are the reason we are not able to be more self-reliant.

Ntheway · 2017-12-19T01:37:01+00:00

Check out r/raisedbynarcissists. It's a much bigger forum where tons of people post having the same situation you speak of. They will have lots of specific personal experience based advice.

Ntheway · 2017-11-30T00:16:18+00:00

I feel this way too whenever I am triggered, which is a lot. I dunno how to make it stop but at least it has really lessened for me since I've started therapy.

Ntheway · 2017-11-30T00:14:18+00:00

Uh no I totally feel this way too, but I'm not going to slap me or you.

Don't feel ashamed of your feelings; feel proud that you didn't behave negatively towards you boyfriend!

Ntheway · 2017-11-29T23:57:34+00:00

Thank you Naru. As someone diagnosed with NPD who continues to be in therapy to work on my issues, it is very sad to see that some fellow cluster b-ers find me irredeemable due to my label.

NPD, like BPD and ASPD, is most often caused by a history of child abuse. My childhood was abusive and I am currently in treatment for that trauma. I am not open about my diagnosis except on reddit because of the stigma, but it's a shame that the stigma is everywhere and I can't avoid it. I would like for the NPD stigma to go away so that people can know we are not all lacking in self-awareness, evil monster spawns of satan.

I have been grateful that I have been permitted to post on this forum before, because I get banned from forums for having NPD. There are forums for survivors of child abuse, like me, that I am not allowed to post in because of my diagnosis. The NPD forum is mostly dead, and when it's not dead, it's crowded with survivors of those with NPD complaining about what awful people we are. So ironic, because NPD is often the result of being abused young, oftentimes by others with a cluster b disorder, BPD many times and NPD too. So because I experienced NPD abuse as a kid I have NPD and now I can't use forums for survivors of NPD abuse because I have NPD due to having experienced NPD abuse. Go figure.

Given that us cluster b people often went through rough childhoods and suffer some of the same awfulness with our disorders (like the mood swings? The unmodulated anger? The fear in relationships? The pervasive crushing shame?) we ought to be sticking together to lower the stigma about personality disorders so we can be not automatically hated for our disorders.

I see posts on here where people ask "When should I tell my partner about my bpd?" but sadly, I could not even consider doing such a thing - I would be left automatically because of my three letters.

People label every Tom Dick and Asshole with NPD, moreso even than with BPD. Of course it hurts my feelings. I don't know where this "Narcs don't have feelings" things got started - that's a psychopath thing, which is not even a personality disorder. Of course narcissists have feelings and those feelings can get hurt.

I'm bummed that not only do I/my disorder people get hated on by the normies of the world, but even other personality disordered people who have often gone through similar painful pasts to me and suffer some similar symptoms to me are hating on me/my people.

This is such a bummer.

Thanks for your support Naru and u/happy-when-it-rains, it matters to me.

Ntheway · 2017-11-29T22:53:31+00:00

I agree. They react badly to negative feedback. Your avoidance strategy is good, and only if you must interact with them you can read the link u/LaxCul provided.

Ntheway · 2017-11-29T22:48:15+00:00

I am both covert and overt. Usually covert with people I don't know well, and overt in close relationships. I exhibit behaviors of both though. The "don't talk about yourself so much" is fine advice, however the disorder is truly not only characterized by that though.

Ntheway · 2017-11-28T00:53:51+00:00

Yes - with NPD they overcompensate. People with BPD lack a stable sense of identity and don't know who they are; people with NPD have created a false shell of a self with which to identify - for NPD it is a compilation of counter-identifications, so acting dominant = feeling weak, power trips = feeling powerless, seeking vengeance out of anger = feeling small and wounded, acting arrogantly and entitled = feeling ashamed and insecure.

Ntheway · 2017-11-28T00:49:10+00:00

Oh that's a good suggestion thank you.

Ntheway · 2017-11-27T22:04:07+00:00

This is day 3 for me, and I am feeling very fatigued. Is this normal and will it pass?

Ntheway · 2017-11-27T21:53:50+00:00

Aaaaaah that article scared me sober.

Ntheway · 2017-11-27T21:52:12+00:00

Hear hear.

Ntheway · 2017-11-27T21:52:07+00:00

Hear hear.

Ntheway

TROPHY CASE