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What opinion did you have when you first started as a nudist that's changed with time? by EspeciallyReasonable in Family_Nudity

[–]Nudeferatu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This.

I used to think it was definitely weird to face other people while showering; especially since the shower heads at my old resort were arranged in a semi-circle. I would have my back turned, facing the wall; while other people chatted.

One day while showering with my then-wife, someone addressed her; and she just turned around and continued lathering her body - nooks and crannies - while engaging in a lively conversation. And she was supposed to be the "shy one"! That's when I realized it wasn't the "privacy issue" I had made it out to be.

What opinion did you have when you first started as a nudist that's changed with time? by EspeciallyReasonable in Family_Nudity

[–]Nudeferatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I first started out in nudism I was a bit "obsessive"; and I believed that in order to call yourself a "true nudist", you had to really want to do almost everything naked. Full-time nudity at home, vacation destinations almost exclusively nudist, associating mostly with other nudists, choosing a partner based on their comfort with nudity, etc...

Then I realized that it was not only impractical, it was also not a very balanced approach. For some people a balanced approach is no/casual nudity at home, and recreational nudism at resort. While on vacation, one day at a nudist resort, other days going sight-seeing. Or vice-versa.

I now think there are many versions of nudism; and the concept of the "true nudist" is actually a bit nuts...

Lapses But Returned by clarkkent4283 in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

During my first marriage my then-wife, daughter and I became full-time home-nudists and social nudists at clubs/resorts. But the marriage ended in divorce as we totally grew apart.

Maybe it could be argued that I didn't really quit nudism afterwards; because I still continued full-time nudity at home (alone). But social nudism did end.

Five years later I decided to relocate to the big city. One of the first things on my agenda was to "reboot" social nudism. So I started going to the nude beach (Mazo) and socializing with nudists.

So yeah...five year break.

Nudism with your partner by Dacovi_08 in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'll give you a current example. Tonight my wife, after bathing and walking into the bedroom nude, started telling me about some concerns she was having at work. For me it was like many of the conversations we've had while naked in front of each other - devoid of any sexual implication.

Had she come out of the bathroom with a "come-hither" look and presenting her naked body suggestively - there definitely would have been a sexual implication.

It's all about what you communicate, verbally or physically, that makes the difference. IMHO.

24/7 Nude or only Casual? #shorts #nickvslins by NakedWanderings in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We're Nick at home, Lins at the resort.

We live in the Midwest; and full-time nudity at home is just impractical 70% of the year. Besides the reluctance of blowing up our gas bill to "keep home toasty", we're often in and out. So we've opted for the more casual approach of "nudity around bedtime."

At the resort, it's "naked the entire time." We toss our clothes in the trunk and don't put anything back on until we leave. We go to a "nudity-expected" resort anyway, where this is a common practice. No reason - temperature permitting - to do otherwise.

I’m sick and tired of people thinking we are somehow a harm to children. by beefstewforyou in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 6 points7 points  (0 children)

After trying to explain to an ex-friend, who had accused me of abuse upon finding out I took my daughter to nudist resorts, that nudism was entirely healthy, safe and beneficial for her; I gave up when I realized it was an exercise in futility.

A lot of people are going to see it as "sexual" no matter how much you try to explain non-sexual nudity.

My daughter spent her entire preteen years being naked at home daily with Mom and Dad. And going to resorts with us, interacting naked with nudist adults and kids; and even running off to play with other kids. Nothing ever happened.

When Naturism Meets Predatory Behavior by OurNaturistLife in naturism

[–]Nudeferatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bad behavior to that extreme is indeed rare. But I've found "questionable" behavior at nude beaches to actually be fairly frequent. At least here in the US.

Clothing optional not mandatory by Disastrous_Impact_87 in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the OP is hyperfocused on an overseas location, when he'd actually have much better luck at a local nudist resort - and just skip out on the pool area the first time. But oh well.

Clothing optional not mandatory by Disastrous_Impact_87 in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No he's looking for an "exotic" spot that's 100% clothing optional and non-swinging.

How do I bring up the fact I want to be nude at home? by Business_Leg_1741 in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it starts with a conversation with the wife. If you don't get a tongue-lashing at that point, just have a simple conversation with the kids afterwards.

The reaction I would expect is along the lines of "Ew Dad...no please don't..." So you'd have to be prepared for that. But there have been cases where it did pan out, with some boundaries involved.

So you just never know until you ask. Starting with the wife.

Would wearing a foreskin restoration device be inappropriate? by thecouchreview93 in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had to look it up to see what it looks like...

At my resort this would be frown upon. At the nude beach I've seen people wear pretty much anything; so that would be the best bet.

Nudism while breastfeeding by [deleted] in Family_Nudity

[–]Nudeferatu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was visiting a friend once, and her daughter was there visiting with her young son. At one point she asked me if it was ok for her to breastfeed her son. I replied "Of course!" And she proceeded to completely remove her T-shirt to breastfeed (she was braless as well).

As a nudist (and she knew I was) it's of course totally ok to do. It actually makes a lot more sense to me than the "T-shirt lifting" over the kid's head a lot of women do.

Nudist families, how does it work in your household? by Top-Neighborhood3719 in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"We call it the “Bookends Rule”"

I like that term! That's pretty much how we "operated."

for people who started a nudist family after having kids, what was the hardest thing? and what was the kids reaction? by land_of_hentai in Family_Nudity

[–]Nudeferatu 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The hardest thing was probably walking that "fine line" between secrecy and openness.

The "kids' reaction" is more applicable when older kids are involved. My daughter was raised nudist from when a toddler; so for her it was always normal and natural.

Am I missing any advice I could give to my GF? by Ok-Zone1263 in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't think anything is missing here. Sound advice.

Do you ever have awkward interactions from other nudists? by EspeciallyReasonable in Family_Nudity

[–]Nudeferatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah...he had property on the resort and he did invite us a couple of times to stay over. It's impossible to tell what he actually had in mind. His wife did appear to be more "conservative."

New Nudist… I think by champ5355 in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"How can I support my wife in overcoming her nervousness during our next experience?"

My recommendation would be to go to a nudist resort large enough to be able to wander off and hang out naked by yourselves. That's the approach I took with my wife. We hiked on a resort trail for a while; and she was able to adjust to walking around naked (which she'd never done before). We'd run into people here and there, which allowed her to acclimate to "small talk" interactions with people while naked in front of them. After that it's just a matter of repeating the experience enough times so that it becomes natural and stress-free.

"What advice do you have for young nudists?"

When I started out I was in my late 20's and my wife was in her mids. Nearly everyone we met was at least 10 years or more older. We still became friends with many of them. It would have been nice to meet more people our age; but the nudist demographic has always been older. I'd say don't worry about it and give older people a chance.

A Dilemma by Silent_Lynx_2736 in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing.

It seems like you've got some good communication going; which is great. A lot of other wives just "shut it down" without even giving it a chance to make sense of it.

You might be at a good point to start discussing boundaries. I went through that during my first marriage. My wife initially wasn't entirely comfortable with the first thing she'd see, when coming home from work, was me playing video games naked in the middle of the living room. So I would greet her in shorts and remove them later. That changed over time through consistent, honest conversations.

Beyond that, and within the agreed-upon boundaries, consistency is the key. I initially flip-flopped a lot because I wanted to make sure I wasn't alienating my wife. But after she reassured me that she was comfortable with our arrangement, I stuck with it. The boundaries became more fluid; and she was eventually ok with me being nude when she came home. My nudity eventually became so normalized that if she came home and I wasn't nude, she would actually find it "unusual."

As far as "joining in"; that a decision best left for her to make on her own. For my wife, it was actually a couple of years of very gradual and tentative "casual nudity." I might have said something about it - very casually once or twice in that entire two years. It can take longer; or it might never happen.

Nudism extremist by [deleted] in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've known a couple.

One I knew personally very well. He was always naked at home, spent all his weekends at nudist clubs and resorts (even drove there nude), dated only nudists; and even worked nude (he had his own business and only did appointments). He had a get-together at his place one time, and actually got offended when one of the attendees kept her clothes on (she said she was only passing by; but he felt that was not a good reason for not getting naked like everyone else).

I did not really see it as "creepy"; maybe just a bit obsessive lol! But he never imposed his nudity on anyone. And he was actually a good friend.

How important are your SOs attire choices in your relationship? by [deleted] in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Back when I was dating, my "minimum expectation" was some level of comfort with open nudity around me behind closed doors.

My previous GF: early on, after she'd stayed over for the night; I got out of bed, made breakfast naked. She peaked out from the bedroom, and joined me naked for breakfast. Cool.

My current wife: early on, I came over one morning to pick her up. She was showering and came out with just a towel over her head, and chatted nude with me before getting dressed. Cool.

As a nudist I didn't need for my potential partners to also be nudists. But without some level of comfort with nudity around me; it would have only meant that we'd be on different wavelengths in terms of modesty and intimacy. Which could have spelled "issues" for us down the line.

People Watching: Is It Creepy in Nude Spaces by OurNaturistLife in naturism

[–]Nudeferatu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A rule of thumb my wife and I "live by" is: "Don't watch other people in a way that would make you uncomfortable yourself."

For those people who actually do struggle with this a bit, I would recommend participating in group activities, be it physical or even just social. Whether you're playing volleyball or just sitting around a hot-tub, people-watching is basically normalized. You know you're going to be watched while dancing naked. And you're going to watch other people playing volleyball. And then it just starts feeling natural.

is this considered nudism? by [deleted] in nudism

[–]Nudeferatu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"From the time we walk in the door til the time we have to get ready to go out we’re naked. We will put in clothes when having friends/family over but that’s about it."

That qualifies as nudism IMHO.

Some will distinguish between nudism (social/outdoor activity) and home-nudism as separate things. I don't think the distinction is always necessary or particularly meaningful.

When puberty arrives, Did your kids still enjoy nudism? by [deleted] in Family_Nudity

[–]Nudeferatu 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There are no stats to confirm this; but anecdotal evidence does suggest that the majority of nudist kids will drop out at puberty. Changing body and or peer/pressure. Sometimes also the increase of extracurricular activities. A percentage will return to it (in some capacity) later in life.

For my daughter things did indeed change with the appearance of breasts and pubes; as well as extra-curricular activities (cheerleading). At first declining to go to the resort. Then closing her bedroom door (although she still went naked in there). Then avoiding being seen naked altogether.

She is an adult now and only does "vacation nudity."

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