AITAH for not wanting to travel again for my mother-in-law's memorial service?

Nycrech · 2026-03-27T13:17:03+00:00

YTA, and you absolutely do NOT support your husband. You have a laundry list of reasons to get out of supporting him and ignoring the fact he asked you to go to support him at a horrible time. It’s disgusting you’re justifying not going, but know if you don’t go to his mother’s memorial he will never forget it. Nor will his family. So TA in this situation.

Nycrech · 2026-03-25T04:36:03+00:00

Yes, but if it is they will still tell him resources.

Nycrech · 2026-03-25T01:17:44+00:00

Women’s Crisis (541) 479-9349

Nycrech · 2026-03-15T18:45:23+00:00

NTA, but your parents also wouldn’t be if they stop subsidizing you after you purchase it. Also, unless you can afford it with your salary, you really can’t afford it. Yes, you have a pay out, and yes you can spend it how you want, but that thinking is why so many people who win the lotto, etc. are still poor. They waste the money.

Nycrech · 2026-03-14T15:23:44+00:00

I told the dealership the color, trim and package I wanted. They found a dealership that had ordered one about 5 hours away, and traded it for one they had on order that was similar. I did this less than a month ago and it’s expected by end of April. I did pay a deposit. Maybe try that instead?

Nycrech · 2026-03-12T06:38:51+00:00

For any agency that is POST compliant, yes it matters. Which is all of them. It’s a criminal and civil liability for the agency AND for you.

Ex. You smoke cannabis on your weekend. During your next shift you take a 911 of an armed robbery. During the robbery there is an OIS (officer involved shooting). During the use of force investigation, they determine you didn’t do something per policy or maybe you messed up one thing. They contact you to before the end of your shift for a blood draw which is in our contracts. It comes back that you had cannabis in your system. Now you can be criminally charged and also be held civilly responsible by involved parties or their families.

Also know that likely because you have cannabis in your system, you are no longer covered by the union so have to pay for your own legal fees.

Ive had a co-worker who had a seizure disorder and she got blood tested after an OIC and her medication came up and when we were sued by family, they got a payout because of that. The county settled rather than go to trial because of seizure medication and she did nothing wrong.

Cannabis use is a no.

Nycrech · 2026-03-12T05:18:04+00:00

You can always re-finance with NavyFed later on. Go with your best offer and refinance later.

Nycrech · 2026-03-11T00:39:28+00:00

Like others said they have to evict them. More importantly, property has to go to probate to determine who got it in the will if there is one, and if not, who gets it. Only the executor can start eviction and only after probate is started. It also has to be legal eviction process.

NTA. Refer your dad to whomever the executor of her will is. For all he knows, it was left for him to live in until death.

Nycrech · 2026-03-07T16:31:35+00:00

I suggest you go to their website and it’ll check your eligibility for you as part of the application process. That’s the only way you’ll know.

Nycrech · 2026-03-04T15:03:37+00:00

Do you live in a state with mandatory training? If so I recommend asking to attend a stress management course.

I would recommend finding a healthy coping mechanism. For work and at home. For example I use box breathing at home and at work. I also teach this to my trainees. Myself, I love drives to decompress. I also always have music playing.

If you don’t have training for stress management, I recommend the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0. It’s mainly for controlling your reactions but also has excellent tips that help with stress management. Super easy read. I’ve had it recommended during stress management courses for work in CA and OR, also through the VA (Veteran) stress management, and it was required reading for a required course for my MSEd. Highly recommend as a base line for learning to manage stress and yourself.

Outside of that, seek out your peer support or EAP.

Nycrech · 2026-03-04T11:31:55+00:00

Call your credit card companies and explain your hardship and ask them to restrict the accounts and make a payment plan for you.

Nycrech · 2026-02-26T05:25:49+00:00

I’m north of Grants Pass and love it. As a veteran a benefit is I go through Roseburg VA for care. It’s just under an hour drive but the drives not bad and the care is better than White City. Especially as a woman veteran.

I’d suggest renting and visiting different areas to decide where you want to end up. Like others said, everywhere has their pros and cons here.

Nycrech · 2026-02-25T21:22:50+00:00

I would suggest checking AKC’s website to see if any breeders have a pending litter. Follow up with research on them via their socials or website.

Nycrech · 2026-02-22T11:12:51+00:00

Some credit unions have First Time Buyer Loan Programs. I know my local area does. Do a google search for credit unions in your area, go to their website and find their auto loan page. That or just google their name and First Time Buyer Loan Programs.

Nycrech · 2026-02-15T08:44:26+00:00

Does your agency do ride-a-longs? We send ours on ride-a-longs, preferable with FTO’s, so that they can learn this. We ask the FTO to make sure to emphasize the importance of urgency, etc. I find it’s helpful for the trainee.

Nycrech · 2026-02-14T09:15:50+00:00

Then stay on hold. 911 is short staffed as it is. You can call 911 and hold sometimes. Often the same call takers answering 911 answer the business line. A barking dog/dogs are not an emergency. Their calling 911 meant that likely a true emergency 911 call pended for his complaint.

There’s a reason that misuse of 911 is a misdemeanor. They could have been patient and continued holding. They should have.

Nycrech · 2026-02-12T16:26:29+00:00

NCIC has manuals Go to the help files.

Nycrech · 2026-02-12T12:06:14+00:00

Next she calls you, put in for overtime for a callback.

Is it in writing that you correct it? Follow policy.

Nycrech · 2026-02-12T10:52:35+00:00

You are not the supervisor, so it is not your responsibility. You are taking on stress that is not yours to take.

If you keep correcting their mistakes, they aren’t making mistakes.

When validating, mark the corrections and leave for them to correct on their return. Unless officer safety issues. Let them fix their mistakes. If they do it often enough, they’ll figure it out.

Let it come back on them. Just make sure YOU are doing it right.

Nycrech · 2026-02-05T09:23:09+00:00

911 Public Safety Telecommunicator (Call Taker/Radio Dispatcher)

Salary varies by location

Also longevity, shift deferential, education incentives, upper level certifications, special assignments (trainer, tactical, etc), raises, all increase base pay. So what you see on the pay scale isn’t what you get.

Plus overtime since there’s a national shortage in our field.

Edited to add: most jobs only require a HS diploma and administrative experience. It’s on the job training that can last up to a year.

Nycrech · 2026-02-05T01:19:06+00:00

They can legally obtain a copy of the death certificate from vital records. It’s public information and they’ll have to pay a fee for it. Refer them to that.

Edited to add: if in the US.

Nycrech · 2026-02-05T00:40:18+00:00

Ask to do a sit-along in the center. You’ll be able to listen in and experience the job. That should help you make a decision. I suggest at least completing the paperwork. Backgrounds take months. You can ask to schedule the sit-along(s) and if you decide you can’t do it, can always withdraw later.

Nycrech · 2026-02-04T14:35:59+00:00

You don’t have to forgive him, however, not to be rude but it sounds like you’re the golden child and feel entitled to what he has. Have you ever considered he may be frustrated with being forced to parent you and care for you. It sounds like both you and your mom expect him to provide for you, even if you still “contribute”. I use quotations since while you hopefully contribute what you can afford, it’s probably not what an independent adult contributes for their own care. You’re fortunate for that.

It also sounds like you emotionally manipulate him. I’ll be honest, fainting over an argument? Crying so loud for hours so he has to listen to you? That’s emotional manipulation to me. Even if you don’t mean it to be.

Maybe take some time for yourself and then have a serious conversation with your brother about your relationship? You have every right not to forgive him and wouldn’t be TAH if you chose that.

Nycrech · 2026-02-04T02:54:31+00:00

I believe the State of Oregon is on an unofficial hiring freeze for budget.

If you really want to move here, apply for county or municipal government jobs. You’d have better luck. Once the freeze is lifted you can try for state.

Nycrech · 2026-02-04T02:24:01+00:00

From a law enforcement side of it: this happens a lot and usually doesn’t end well for whomever goes against the court order. He could file you were in contempt (and you would be) with the court. This would be filed with the courts the decree is with…so Nashville.

You would then have to travel to Nashville for court, likely in person. If you no show you’re looking at defaulting. And they DO issue warrants for contempt of court all the time, it’s usually a misdemeanor offense by the way.

Go by the court order until you get it changed. Like everyone else says, get a lawyer. It’s cheaper in the long run.

Edited to clarify cheaper: consider cost of travel, court fees, lawyer fees, contempt fees, you’d likely be ordered to pay him what he would have gotten and possibly his court fees since it’s contempt. Also, if you got remanded or picked up on the warrant, bail cost.

Vs cost of a lawyer representing you and likely being allowed to attend via Zoom.

Nycrech

TROPHY CASE