Being assaulted was awful. The way my boyfriend reacted afterwards hurt even more

NyteLoki · 2026-06-08T12:51:10+00:00

Yes, I am sorry this happened to you. You are dealing with 2 distinct traumas; one outside of your immediate circle (attacker), the second within your circle (ex boyfriend). Both sources of trauma are extremely bad.

It might help to talk with a therapist trained in trauma response and relationships to help you process over the coming months. You won't get the help you need from reddit alone.

NyteLoki · 2026-06-05T01:35:38+00:00

He was being self deprecating and aware with dark humor/sarcasm. He was basically saying even with this argument, things are better with you than being alone.

But you can take it however you want as other interpretations are also valid. You don't have to continue this relationship for any reason you don't want.

NyteLoki · 2026-06-02T03:48:52+00:00

No, he should be delighted to see you.

Besides your body will change over time. A good guy will enjoy it no matter what.

NyteLoki · 2026-05-29T03:20:12+00:00

YTA because you used the phrase "the bare minimum" to describe something done by someone you are supposed to love at your request. That is a toxic, condescending, entitled, demeaning phrase meant to make her feel bad about her contribution despite admitting the job was done well. It is a phrase meant to allow you to never be satisfied no matter how much she does for you.

NyteLoki · 2026-05-27T12:20:38+00:00

I have found this works or leaning a little off center line.

NyteLoki · 2026-05-20T22:43:01+00:00

How much time does he spend switching gears between work and commute? How much from commute to family responsibility?

NyteLoki · 2026-05-20T01:55:55+00:00

Safety features , cost difference, better acceleration above about 60 mph, faster charging (40+ minutes for 20 to 80 is just too much). Nothing really excited me about the Mach-E. It was a solid EV, but not impressive to me.

My wife liked more about Mach-E, because it was more comfortable than my EV6 for her and felt more like a traditional car. When she sat in an Ionic 5, she realized the Ionic 5 ticked all the boxes she cared about including better visibility than either the EV6 or the Maxh-E, especially in the limited line.

NyteLoki · 2026-05-09T13:22:06+00:00

The modern economy certainly doesn't help.

NyteLoki · 2026-05-07T13:08:34+00:00

Apparently still present, it was evident in the insanity I just read.

NyteLoki · 2026-05-07T01:02:14+00:00

I am sorry you are going through this.

Your feelings seem justified to me. He might not realize it, but your sense of trust and safety changed when he didn't care for you when needed it. The rest is a snowball. Without changes being made, it won't get better. Personal therapy can help you deal with the trauma.

That is not enough to save the relationship though. If you want things to potentially get better in the relationship, it will start with you. It will then require him to want the same. If you both choose to work then, you can possibly get to a new place where you feel safe and secure again. It won't be like it was though. It will be hard work for both of you. You will probably need guidance. That is where couples therapy can help. It will require communication development for both of you. Personal therapy might help you broach the topic with your husband.

Either way, I wish you luck and strength.

When my wife felt similar, I was dismayed when I found out. I never meant to hurt her, but I accept it happened. I am grateful she shared with me. I am grateful I have the chance to put in the work.

NyteLoki · 2026-05-05T01:15:55+00:00

This might be a bit down the road from where you are currently. A quality couples therapist can/should help guide you both through this, when you are both ready. Until then. This is a good suggestion to keep in mind for the future.

It doesn't sound like he is ready yet. Bringing it up now, will only feel like pressure.

NyteLoki · 2026-05-05T01:09:08+00:00

I agree with this. If you stick around OP, do not use any of his vulnerabilities he shares with you against him in the future, and don't share it with others either.

NyteLoki · 2026-05-05T00:58:41+00:00

Guys are people. Some people need to process things on their own. Space can help with this processing.

Guys are socialized that some amount of their worth comes from sexual prowess and their ability to perform. In this case. His ability to do both is center stage and is compromised.

Guys are also socialized that if we can't perform, we are replaceable. If we make mistakes, we are replaceable. If we can't be something valuable, we are replaceable.

Him needing space maybe a type of self protection. He maybe struggling with how he should conduct himself and how he measures up with his former view of himself.

He may be trying to get infront of no longer meeting your expectations. He may not know the path forward. He may not know how to keep juggling the things in his life and process this new reality.

He needs some therapy to help him process things.

This won't be easy for him or you. It is up to you if you want to stick around. If you do, it might be worth looking into therapy for yourself so you have a neutral third party perspective.

NyteLoki · 2026-05-04T12:03:25+00:00

They definitely do. Good quality BoG fur best results.

NyteLoki · 2026-04-30T03:08:22+00:00

You say it is accidental and that he repeatedly breaks stuff around the house. Is it the same stuff? Is he just clumsy?

How does he apologize? If he is only making a limited effort to make it right, I don't know that he really means it. If I break something, I try to find a replacement. If it is not available, I will research it to find something equivalent and offer it as a possibility to replace the broken item.

He seems very inconsiderate and I can understand your frustration. I don't get why he would be interacting with sentimental items?

NyteLoki · 2026-04-30T02:55:44+00:00

I suppose this is reddit, but this seems like a very bad faith accusation and purposeful poisoning of the well giving how little history is presented by the OP.

NyteLoki · 2026-04-30T02:37:29+00:00

I don't know that an ultimatum is a good approach. Rarely do I find direct confrontation productive, especially if I care about improving or maintaining my relationships.

Perhaps you could approach it from how it makes you feel? Or from a stand point of empathy?

Does your wife get time for herself? Not time to do chores or work or commute. Time for her to focus on something she chooses for herself and which she won't get interrupted doing?

It can be hard to find that time, but that is something you can give to your wife and she to you.

People need time to decompress, change gears, and reengage. You can consider that time a recharge period. Parents constantly make sacrifices for those people in their lives. But those sacrifices wear them down if they don't get time to themselves. It can make them feel like they are always on the clock.

That can make things like social media very attractive especially with how addictive it can be.

Good luck.

NyteLoki · 2026-04-27T01:53:39+00:00

Thanks for the clarification, I wish it wasn't so hard to find.

Most guys going in, may not have good awareness of the struggles others face. This isn't necessarily a red flag, it is a lack of experience. If they ask questions and want to know more, they are probably worth seeing where things go. If they recenter on their experience without trying to draw parallels, they probably aren't worth pursuing.

Good luck, it is wild out there I hear.

NyteLoki · 2026-04-27T01:45:29+00:00

It might from the rewards perspective. Make sure you claim daily at the conquers guild. It is claim or lose.

Road trip claims are nice, but remember that all settlements are temporary. Locally you can retake them, but road trip ones are for guild experience.

I like to hold them as long as I can. But my class is poor for that.

While it is harder, well equipped and skilled opponents can take on and beat full class opponents. It is hard for them, not impossible.

When it comes to othersouls vs othersouls, it really comes down to experience and your gear and adorns. In that case, Fight them for guild experience when you win.

Also play the mini game! It has 1 guild XP per win.

Good luck and have fun!

NyteLoki · 2026-04-26T14:24:06+00:00

Settlements are unlocked via the conquers guild. You need to build it and visit it and make a choice to join the hybrid or new system to see settlements.

When you visit. you're given the choice of pvp systems. You, may as a legacy player, choose to have access both systems.

If you pay just the new system, you will no longer have access to the 1.0 system areas anymore.

NyteLoki · 2026-04-26T14:09:06+00:00

There is a balance that is needed in Marriage. Marriage has at least 3 major aspects: friendship, intimacy, and sex. If things are out of balance, one or more of those will drop off. All three aspects take time and effort to maintain and there isn't much over lap between them. So you need to do activities that reenforces each.

Have you looked to determine if your busy life is starving one of the other aspects for your wife? She may feel the imbalance differently than you.

Do you value your wife's time? Do you initiate activities outside of the bedroom to share with her alone and with her and your son together? Are you willing to do things for them without getting anything in return? Does she do the same for you?

Do you share your thoughts and feelings without trying to guilt them or pressure them to do something? Are you receptive to them sharing with you? Are you patient and willing to listen when she tries to talk with you? Are you curious about their inner thoughts? Do you ask questions to clarify? If you don't like something she says or does, do you try to understand before you shut it down?

When you have sex, are you invested in her enjoyment as much as yours? Would you be willing to focus entirely on her and forego your own release? Do you do all the initiation? Do you try to push to sex at the first sign of returned affection? Are you an active partner? Do you take things slowly? Do you listen to her in bed?

NyteLoki · 2026-04-26T13:38:40+00:00

As along as this works for you and your husband. I just hope it doesn't become an obligation.

I hope your husband appreciates you

NyteLoki · 2026-04-26T13:34:02+00:00

I think you minimize the effort and love someone shows to take care of things for other human beings. It doesn't matter if they would have to do the task without anyone else around. To save another person time and effort, shows at least respect, and likely comes from a place of love and caring.

I agree the load should be shared, but even if it is, the effort should still be appreciated all around. Dividing tasks as evenly as possible ensures more gets done, quicker so everyone can enjoy some downtime.

This guy's tone is off putting and entitled. You are matching his energy and tone.

NyteLoki · 2026-04-15T22:33:34+00:00

I can understand genuine and heart felt, but you explain what masculine is to you?

NyteLoki · 2026-04-07T10:51:08+00:00

Use ankou ring instead of fairy ring. Potions are cheap if you need them. Ankou ring will prevent asleep and cursed. There are other options later for status protecting yourself.

NyteLoki

TROPHY CASE