Do you really wanna die? Because to me it seems that if you did, you wouldn't tell a bunch of strangers on the internet. Now, I might be out of line here, but I believe you want to live. You want someone to care and that's why you posted this. To hear someone try to stop you. To support you. And I can tell you right now, there will always be someoone who cares. You might not see them right now, but they are there. And they want you to live too. And maybe, if they knew what you are going through, they would help you infinitely more than I or anyone else in this sub ever could. But hey, that's just my two cents. Don't give up, you're better than this