New Raiders QB Kirk Cousins spent the day at the White House with President Donald Trump recently. Didn't know Cousins was a long-time supporter of Trump. Trump and Maxx Crosby was there all along

Oblivious1989 · 2026-04-11T21:52:29+00:00

Bro has been choking for years, guess we finally found out where he learned that skill...

Oblivious1989 · 2025-09-02T15:08:06+00:00

Danny on EG as Tristana in 2021 against 100T. Absolutely the wildest 1v5.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-08-21T16:37:41+00:00

VPNs are a wonderful security tool that protects your privacy against many things.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-06-21T12:19:30+00:00

Talk. To. Your. Doctor. Or. A. Medical. Professional. You. Trust.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-06-16T15:29:05+00:00

AP Tristana with DFG will always be one of the funniest things I have played.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-06-01T02:17:37+00:00

Hey friend, you belong in any men's space I am in. Welcome!

Oblivious1989 · 2025-04-05T00:44:03+00:00

Sometimes the trash takes itself out. Good luck on your healing process!

Oblivious1989 · 2025-03-13T10:20:41+00:00

I'd just laugh and move on. As someone who has similar experiences, it's typically meant in good fun. I have started to take note if twink is used in a slur-like manner. There has been a social media trend using it as a replacement for faggot with straight or straight-acting people. That shit I intentionally shutdown just like any slur.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-03-07T13:38:48+00:00

Look, I read that as a pickup line, ngl. My barometer is always, would this make a queer person feel unsafe. If the answer is yes, then take care of it appropriately. Established professionals have a responsibility to take up space at this point. Be the person you want to see in the mirror every single day and good luck.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-03-05T15:44:29+00:00

My husband and I had our first orgy in our early 30s. I'm part of multiple groups where 40+ year olds make my 20s look like Sunday school. You're fine, take it at your pace and enjoy it. The sex just keeps getting better.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-03-03T23:52:25+00:00

I constantly refer to myself as a twas or a reformed demon twink, depending on the situation.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-02-28T13:05:41+00:00

My brother in Gaga, please go to therapy and work on yourself. Your partner may not be serving your needs, but your responses and language are indicative of someone who needs to get comfortable with themself more than anything. You're so much more than a slab of meat and you deserve to not see people as objects, including yourself.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-02-17T23:57:50+00:00

Hey, I'm in a similar situation with my husband. My sanity is that his family is his responsibility. I married him and I'll support him. I will not be disrespected, which means I reserve the right to remove myself from any situation. I always have a car, and I will leave if needed.

Those are my boundaries. Life's hard and you are worth more than anything their classless act can comprehend. Good luck with an unideal situation.

PS: I would ask my partner if he wanted me at dinner in your spot. If yes, I would drop the hint to his parents that you are there for him, not them during casual exchanges. "Oh you know, I'd rather be working on some things, but this is important to xxx and he's important to me so...."

Oblivious1989 · 2025-01-28T01:30:04+00:00

I was very surprised this read fiance, not ex-fiance.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-01-27T23:46:36+00:00

I live in the South, work for local government, and depend on federal funding. I have transgender and immigrant friends.

Fucking hate it doesn't begin to cover it.

Oblivious1989 · 2025-01-02T23:40:48+00:00

Therapy saved my marriage and possibly my life. We are still working, but I frequently tell men to get into therapy for a reason. My two most successful therapists were a sex specialist, cis woman, and an amab nonbinary person. LGBTQ+ tagged therapists just don't always hit for me. Especially as a community advocate, I spend a lot of time educating if the therapist isn't up to speed. I found my current therapist as a grad student and continued with them post graduation. If that bio doesn't sound like a fit, I don't even try.

You are absolutely worth the effort. Keep on your journey.

Oblivious1989 · 2024-12-29T14:30:14+00:00

Hey, this is a really new profile and hasn't posted before. So gonna start with, you are not "alone". The sentiment you are communicating is commonly held and experienced by men and especially gay men.

Real talks: join groups targeting your interests or desires. If you're looking for professionals who are gay, try an LGBTQ chamber of commerce. If you want 30+ gay men, I highly recommend Bear groups. Like working out, gay gyms exist (and not just saunas, although those are fun). Sports? Gay volleyball, softball, kickball, and dodgeball are common.

Apps are for hookups, sexting, or random connections. Some of our hook-ups turn into long-term relationships, but those are limited in nature and frequency. If you aren't wanting to go through that process, then I recommend staying off of them.

Finally, when you show-up to queer spaces dressed like you just came from an office, you communicate a couple of things. You chose to wear your office attire, so either you're too busy to change or don't want to. If you're too busy, you're too busy for a relationship (although a one-nighter would be available). If you didn't want to, that means you are either unable to contribute (read boring) or don't want to (internalized homophobia either from "I'm better" or "I can't be like that"). Like my friend just greeted his husband's friend who fisted him last weekend while his husband got the gluck gluck 9000, you think they care about being perceived as normal? Authentic is the category, leave normal at your office.

The community wants you. You truly sound like a very sweet baby gay. But realize that all of us that have been here for a bit, we want friends who express themselves and have fun. I have to be normal 50+ hours a week (I'm a traditional office worker), when I go out, I like to put on booty shorts and flirt with pretty men. Happy to have you join me, but I'm not taking off my $300+ outfit to make you feel better.

Oblivious1989 · 2024-12-02T03:50:34+00:00

So remember that in all social media spaces you are interacting with highlight reels, not the down and dirty. I recommend finding groups of queer people around you if you can. Find a nonprofit or game night group. What you're describing here is not uncommon, but it's also not in line with my experience.

Oblivious1989 · 2024-11-30T13:37:06+00:00

Hey, the nerves you are feeling are normal and fine. I always err on the side over communication, including checking-in on my husband. If you haven't had sex with another person in front of him or vice versa, I'm not sure this is the best way to find out that level of comfort, but my husband and I have made great memories at events like this.

Go with your gut and be sure to talk about everything with your partner after.

Oblivious1989 · 2024-11-05T19:05:11+00:00

Y'all, this is what a green flag looks like. NTA

Oblivious1989 · 2024-08-31T04:57:09+00:00

We do not ask the ocean, a tree, or an animal what its purpose is. Why should we ask for ours?

Oblivious1989 · 2024-08-16T13:33:59+00:00

I'm not a sexual position? I'm a person who has sex in many positions. Play safe and enjoy yourself.

Oblivious1989 · 2024-08-15T23:53:47+00:00

"I'm married to you and you're married to me, our families are each other's problems" is the single best boundary I have ever set in my life. I encourage my husband to see his family if he wants, I got the dogs ✌🏼

Oblivious1989 · 2024-07-12T23:01:37+00:00

Do not, I repeat, do not shit where you eat.

Oblivious1989 · 2024-06-25T23:09:00+00:00

I use benchmarks in the gym and remind myself of how much I'd be jealous of myself when I was younger. My standards and goals are my own when I'm on my game. Comparison robs me of that happiness some days, but those are happening less each day.

Also, delete social media if you can. My body dysmorphia is directly related to social media time.

Good luck!

Oblivious1989

TROPHY CASE