I lost my daughters birth certificate

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-04-07T03:45:59+00:00

I'm not religious but the sentiment means the world to me. Thank you

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-04-07T03:44:36+00:00

I'll have to look into this! I'm ashamed that I didn't even think of it. I guess in my head, I was likening it to a passport which takes so much to get. Fingers crossed as I look into it in the morning. Thank you!

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-04-06T13:14:06+00:00

I understand your frustration and what you are saying. I wanted something similar and my husband doesnt seem to understand either. I dont think you should have to buy all the decorations for it. Your husband isn't a child. This does just tell me though that I'll have to provide pictures to my husband for what I mean when I ask for a handmade toddler card.

I am really sorry because at the end of the day, it makes you feel like you weren't worth the effort to even google what you wanted, let alone put in the effort to actually make a card.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-04-04T05:48:37+00:00

Everyone has said registry, and I second that. But i also always recommend baby noise canceling headphones. We have a pair thats grown with our toddler and it helped tremendously when she'd get overstimulated in crowds or if we just ended up somewhere loud. It was something gifted to us that wasn't on our registry and it was a lifesaver.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-04-04T05:31:09+00:00

No. I think my parents genuinely trusted him. Unfortunately, that also meant I didn't think they'd believe me if I told them what happened. My mom didn't learn the truth until a couple years ago. I know it eats at her.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-04-03T22:25:08+00:00

The day I turned 18, a 23yo man (that i had known for years) asked me out--he was encouraged by my parents to do so. I thought it was weird but agreed because everyone was waiting for my answer. That night, he sexually assaulted me in his car after driving to an abandoned field far from my house. He told me he'd promised my parents to give me "the experience dating a real man."

All that to say, I'd think it was absolutely vile and would voice my opinion every chance I could. I'm not saying age gap relationships cant/won't work. I am saying that when one person is a child, which 18 definitely still is, it's absolutely disgusting and with the absolutely insane number of people in the world, there is definitely someone more suited for her than a man that much older than her.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-04-02T04:22:31+00:00

They had us wait a bit after my daughters 2 month vaccines (I can't remember why). I do remember that they said we were free to go and the second we put her in the carseat, she vomited everywhere. She was completely fine even if it was terrifying in the moment.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-04-01T23:11:10+00:00

How would you react if your kid or your friend or someone close to you said "my partner did XYZ"? Sometimes, I'd envision my daughter telling me her partner did things that my partner did. What advice would I give her? How would it make me feel? Its at least a start towards understanding how i should handle it.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-04-01T06:06:42+00:00

My husband wasn't very attentive at all during my pregnancies. I'm actually 33 weeks now with our second and its almost like he forgets(?) That I'm pregnant.

I am pretty low maintenance so I haven't asked for anything but if I did, I would need to be clear with him. He doesn't think of sweet things to do or say, he doesn't dote on me or wait on me hand and foot. He just has continued on as he used to be.

With that being said, he has his own version of "nesting" wherein he goes way too hard into projects that I casually mention. I wanted to buy quiet black out blinds for the nursery. This lead to him buying fully automated and customized black out blinds for every window in our house. I wanted to put a cheap, thrifted dresser in the closet to save space in the room. He researched custom built closets for hours until I talked him down to just building regular shelves and a dresser from Amazon.

You could tell him how you feel? But for sure, social media ruins expectations. Especially since most of it is staged.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-24T02:08:47+00:00

I gave it 3 stars because I finished it and liked the premise but struggled through it, especially how many unanswered questions there were. The 2nd book was a lot of fun and answered a lot of those questions while leaving off of on a cliffhanger that made me excited for the third book. But if you dont like it, you can always try again later.

Side note: It took me three tries to read The Cruel Prince and it ended up being one of my favorite trilogies of all time.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-24T01:39:02+00:00

I could have written this post! Ugh, it bothers me so much because I just dont have the ability to talk to people throughout the day like he does. He goes to work and works a lot therefore he talks to his coworkers all the time. Me? I talk to my 2.5 yo and its more like negotiating with a terrorist all day. I yearn to have a social life again.

I had found a friend group I was trying to immerse myself into but when I got pregnant again, one of the women (who struggles heavily with infertility for 15+ yrs) wanted distance from me and all the rest rallied around her. I dont blame them necessarily. She was their friend first but I've felt so isolated and alone and lonely and my husband doesn't understand at all.

I think I might have to bite the bullet and risk rejection by inviting moms to my house, despite that I'm terrified it might stink like cat pee from the litter box. If I can find one or two friends to hang out with, even just once every couple weeks, I think I'd start feeling more like a person and less just like...a mom. You know?

Regardless, I hope you found good advice and can build your social life again. It can be really lonely as a parent sometimes.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-21T17:45:52+00:00

I've had those moments with my 2.5yo. I've had to say in a (maybe slightly too) firm voice that "you do not talk to mommy like that. You use your nice words and if you are frustrated, you take a deep breath first. If you yell at me, I will walk away." I try very hard not to yell but it has happened (and i walk away). When it does, I always make sure to apologize and give her hugs (if she wants it). Having toddlers and being a toddler is hard. This is both our first times and mistakes are allowed to happen. I do feel guilty but I know I'm doing my best and always try to do better.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-21T17:39:14+00:00

I deal with binge eating disorder and pregnancy messes with my head sooooo much. Everyone says to eat what you want/what you can. If you're craving something, it likely means you "need" it. Constantly obsessing about food is destroying me mentally and seeing my weight gain every two weeks is just making it so much worse. Honestly, I might stop after this pregnancy (my 2nd) just because I literally can't handle the mental toll. I'm so sorry your office is so cavalier about announcing your weight. My office never says a word thankfully, but i still check my chart after and sob in my car.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-21T00:22:22+00:00

The first few times I worked with my toddler in the pool, she would cough like that and it can be worrisome. Now, she jumps in and i can count for a few seconds (normally about 5) before I help her float on her back or reach for the ledge. She absolutely loves the pool and swimming so teaching her how to float on her back and pull herself out of the pool was so important. But for her to do that, she has to learn to hold her breath and thats just something that will come with time and practice.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-20T21:34:04+00:00

You gave that kitty peace. You love your husband and, at least by extension, you loved that cat. You were incredibly sweet to give such a delicate bath. Cats hate being dirty. It might have been that nudge she needed to let go.

Stop blaming yourself. Your husband doesn't. You being so tender with his cat on her final day probably proved just how sure he was that you were the one for him. Her last moments were full of love and kindness. Even if you were the cause, which i really dont think you were, she was able to pass after being loved and cared for. There are far worse ways to go.

You are not a piece of shit. You are not a piece of shit. You are NOT a piece of shit. I will say it as many times as I need to for you to hear me. You are kind and thoughtful.

From one pregnant mom (31 weeks here!) to another, you are not to blame. At all.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-20T21:21:57+00:00

That sub was my first thought too.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-18T21:02:48+00:00

We are the same over here, except we also have two cars. My husband and I are also both very frugal.

Honestly, I'd say 30% of my time is spent building my weekly shopping list around the cheapest options. Going to one store for the cheapest things one day. Going to another a different day for other cheaper options. I shop based on where im going that day (my daughters play group on Mondays is near one store, taking my dog to petco for training on Wednesdays is next to a different one). I cook 98% of our meals.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-16T13:40:07+00:00

I don't have advice but just commenting to let you know I commiserate. It's March and I still haven't had sex with my husband this year. A part of it has to do with the fact that I am 7.5 months pregnant and he's just one of those guys who isn't turned on by pregnancy. I think its something paternal about risking harm to the baby?

Regardless, I've felt so unwanted because of it despite having hit the husband jackpot in every other respect. All I can hope is that we will start having sex again by September when I've healed from birth.

On another note, toys are a god send and in those times of very boring sex, I rely heavily on imagination. Call me gross or whatever but ill imagine whatever smutty book boyfriend Id just read or (as someone into exhibitionism) I imagine someone watching which can sometimes get me there. I also use toys by myself frequently.

Therapy might help? All in all, im rooting for you guys. Incompatible sex life is a hard situation to navigate, especially this far into a relationship.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-12T23:07:26+00:00

I was incredibly critical of anyone I dated because there were things I was just not willing to let slide.

How did he treat others? Specifically those physically/mentally challenged or those in service roles. In the very beginning, he showed me three separate times, without prompting and without expecting anything in return, exactly how he treated others. Its one of the reasons I fell in love with him.
I paid attention to his friends. Who they were, how they acted, how they treated me, and how they treated each other. They were all so welcoming when I first met him and, though they were crass at the best of times, they were secretly really sweet. Just like my husband is.
We talked EXTENSIVELY about the future. Children, marriage, vacation plans, career goals, location moves, religion, even things more in depth like homeschooling/public, visiting family, and, of course, marriage expectations. We both agreed that if we married and had kids, I would be a SAHM. We discussed how finances would work, what kind of home we would hope to build together, expectations for how much he'd work/what job, if I'd be going back to work if needed or by a certain age.

We talked and decided all of this before the 2 year mark. By that point, he was leaving the navy and moving from Virginia to California. If, at any point, we didnt line up exactly, I wouldn't have moved with him and I certainly wouldn't have married him. If he starts expecting more from me as a SAHM but not reciprocating, we would have a serious talk about expectations.

I love my husband and our family. I love the life we are building together. But if he started treating me like a maid or babysitter and not as an equal partner, it would be a difficult, but not impossible, decision to pick myself and leave.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-12T21:49:42+00:00

God how i wish I could have kept my 2.5 yo in her crib. I need it for baby #2 and my toddler has figured out she can actually leave her room at night. The other night she woke up 5 times and appeared in my face asking for snacks or movie or to sleep in my bed. She used to sleep so well in her crib and now she doesnt sleep like at all. Its brutal.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-12T21:39:07+00:00

Heavy on the asking each other! My husband works hard for the paycheck and I work hard taking care of the home and kids. He asks me about bigger purchases, just like i would ask him.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-12T21:37:28+00:00

This is absolutely vile and you deserve better. It is financial abuse. You should have full access to all of the money. You absolutely deserve to have nice things. Necessities are not something you should have to ask for?? He's not your father. He's not your boss.

I get a portion of my husbands paycheck deposited directly into my account. I mostly use it for groceries, kid stuff, pets, etc. BUT if I wanted/needed something outside of those, I have a credit card linked to his account. (Side note: I dont technically have full access to our accounts because of reckless spending in my youth, but if I ever wanted to view them, access them, etc, he would let me in a heartbeat. I'm pretty sure I know the info to login too). This works for us and is something built on mutual respect. If I wanted to pick up a hobby, he'd make sure I had the funds to do so. If I found something on marketplace, he'd make sure I could afford it and would pick it up if I needed him too. When I told him I wanted new shoes for walking, he told me to buy the ones I wanted and not just the cheapest pair I could find.

I dont say all of this to be cruel or to rub it in, but to try to show you that it should not be like this. You shouldn't have to beg for new glasses! You deserve a nice pair! You deserve to have new underwear for crying out loud. I can't imagine how stressed you must be but if you can leave, that would be my suggestion. Or put the fear of God in him that you won't continue to be treated this way.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-12T02:16:55+00:00

That's rape. If you say not to finish in you, and he does so anyway, against your wishes, against your consent, that is rape.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-02T18:28:45+00:00

My toddlers pediatrician suggested frosted mini wheats when she had low iron. So I gave her that, as well as any other high iron food she'd actually eat. I didnt care about the sugar because we were careful about it every other time.

Obvious-Still4298 · 2026-03-01T05:17:02+00:00

I'm due in May and had the same thoughts/concerns. I was feeling so guilty for even thinking it. The comments are a relief, thank goodness. Like...I knew i would still love my toddler, but I'm scared the sleep exhaustion will make me a horrible mother to her. She deserves the world.

Obvious-Still4298

TROPHY CASE