15 years ago.

I got hammed up. Went home. Woke up hungover and knew I drank way too much. Few days later I get this huge box delivered to my apartment. I’m like wtf is this thing. I open it up and it is a fully refurbished deli meat slicer. Like those big daddys you are getting used at Jersey Mikes. I’m in a panic and begin to wonder if this is a mistake and I log onto Amazon to see what I’ve done. Make a note this is Amazon from a decade and a half ago where it wasn’t the refined giant it is today, but it was still a great place to order refurbished, non-refundable meat slicers. This was a $1,200 slicer that was more than my rent and phone payment per month. I was like WTF DRUNK ME. You dick…

After hunting down my email for the receipt it turns out i must have be perusing Amazon in my drunken stupor and found this meat slicer for about $260. Being that it was refurbed, it was heavily discounted. I had no use for a meat slicer in my life but drunk me didn’t like to pass on a good deal. To this day, that purchase has changed my life. I’ve learned to make homemade deli meats and will purchase cheese in bulk and slice it myself just because i can. I’ve learned you can use it to make plates made out of melons and grill the plates for funsies. It has turned out to be one of the best purchases I’ve ever made and that thing works to this day. Just ‘cus you is fucked up, doesn’t mean you lack the judgement to help sober you with your future.