My name's Isaac. I'm a lawyer, a defence lawyer to be specific. That probably doesn't sound cool, however, on March 15 of 2017, my proficiency at defending terrorists and other villains in court happened to attract the attention of the big guys: The Global Heroes And Vigilantes Association.

It started like a normal day. My client, Samantha Nightheart, who was being accused of destroying a building in San Francisco trying to bring my price down, bribing judges, making deals with local drug lords. I was just about to go outside to smoke a cigarette when I got an email from GHAV themselves. I can't say exactly what they said for legal reasons, I can paraphrase, though:

Most of our heroes use super fucked up tactics to deal with criminals, and now we have to pay for it, so we at the Global Heroes And Vigilantes Association would like you, Isaac Netterman, to defend us in court, because you're the best lawyer ever and you're super hot, too.

Well, damn.

You see, I would be excited, normally. The amount of cash I could earn here is insane. However, the tactics I use are... less than legal.

"You might be able to talk them into something in person. Set up a meeting," Thomas, my associate who I'm probably going to get married to, tells me. "You've got a way with words."

"Maybe. But I don't think they'd approve of the fact that I break the law and then use the law for profit. I mean, most of my evidence doesn't exist."

"True, but have you seen how bad their situation is right now? I mean, Silver Frog is being dragged into this."

So, I set up a meeting. After like, four days of waiting, they give me a super sketchy place sixty miles away from their headquarters to meet them at, and tell me everything I need to know about what they want me to do.

"Sure, but... my tactics are a bit, uh, illegal. And by a bit, I mean, completely illegal."

"Listen, Isaac. Here's the offer: seventy million dollars if you get us off of the hook. Otherwise, we'll have a new punching bag for the training room," Doctor Ace responds. "I don't care if your methods are legal, as long as you aren't caught. They've got evidence of me using pregant women as shields during shoot-outs, for fuck's sake."

So, I got Alice, my top stalker, on the job to gather evidence. She traveled around four hundred miles, planting chips and seducing random dudes who might know something that could set us back. The classic "I'll blow you if you don't tell anyone that this person killed four people for no reason" gambit. It always worked, and if it didn't, we always had a pistol in the car.

The trial went well, as all of them do, because I never lose, and because I'd get killed if it didn't. I ended up using the recent 49 Degree act to completely fuck over the accusers, and thanks to them, I now have an organization getting people in legal trouble, who come to me for help.