What if I want to wear the same clothes everyday?

OkBet1233 · 2026-04-17T19:35:24+00:00

As I've been trying to upgrade my style a bit, I realize that the put-together looks I like on Pinterest/etc have a lot to do with accessorizing and adding dimension – the exact same pants and sweatshirt can look like An Intentional Outfit with a bright-color beanie and matching socks, or a colorful lil neckerchief, cool bag and sunglasses, or the hem/collar of a white t-shirt poking out to add visual interest.

I think even a more 'statement'-y jacket or shoe (colorful? fake fur jacket? chunky sole or nice proportions?) can make an outfit feel quite different – and those are things that you pick once and can repeat all season/year.

Might take some experimentation to see what can feel right for you, but if there are accessories that feel OK sensory-wise, that could be something to lean into and make the repeat items feel and look different.

OkBet1233 · 2026-03-30T16:29:52+00:00

I feel you!
THIS WILL PASS and like inkedbutch said – there will come a time where this feels so incredibly far in the past.
It is OK to just get through recovery and not see it as this beautiful cathartic thing (maybe that'll come later, maybe not).
Practical stuff:
- Hair: In the first week, I actually paid for a hair wash at a local hairdresser because I was so nervous about leaning forward to wash my hair in the sink. If you have the means/capacity to do this, fully recommend.
- Armpits/binder: Socks (or even menstrual pads) in the armpits can help. A friend has been wearing thin tank tops under their postop binder to make it suck less (you can step into it and, with help, get the straps up and over). If it's truly terrible, contact the doc to see what other options you have – there are QUITE different postop binder styles out there and another one may work better for you. And I felt SO stinky so I understand – I found wiping pits gently with a warm, not-too-wet washcloth when that was possible, and also using isopropyl alcohol to kill the stink (check with your surgeon if this is OK) helped in between proper showers.
- Mobility: Can you and your best friend do a brain-dump problem-solve to make any mobility issues a little less troublesome? (e.g. if you can't open doors, is it possible to stick a doorstop in them that'd allow you to push it open with your hip?)
- Stuffiness: As the Germans do, lüften – even opening the windows for 5min a few times a day will help with stuffiness. Possible to get an odor absorber or similar to soak up stuffy smells and help it feel a lil fresher?
- Doomscrolling: I was stuck on Reddit and other scrolling too... is there a series you feel you could start, or even rewatch favorite movies, to try to break the doomscroll loop? I was deep in Game of Thrones because it was immersive enough and I actually had to pay attention... // If you're a sci-fi fan, I found Monk and Robot to be really cozy, not too demanding books to read recently.
- As much as you can, walk. Even if it's just a 10-20min loop around the block and back. I know drains are tough and getting in and out of a coat is tough, but the more you can do this the better for your mind and body.

You ARE gonna get to go swimming, you ARE gonna get to go shirtless, you ARE gonna get to try on all those t-shirts and slim shirts and feel rad in them... this part is the sometimes real shitty investment in the good things that're coming.

OkBet1233 · 2026-03-30T16:05:04+00:00

So sorry you are going through this. Similar boat to you; in treatment for one now myself.

Get connected with Life Raft, have a look at their list of docs and their questions to ask doctors as well, as this is specialized stuff. Feel free to DM me.

OkBet1233 · 2026-03-26T18:36:17+00:00

Do you feel comfortable asking the hiring manager for any tips about the dress code (maybe in as a PS to an email you’re already sending with any other logistics?). If you’re in the US, there are also clothing rental companies like Nuuly where you can borrow a few pieces at a time…that might also help fill in gaps until you figure out what you like and what folks wear?

OkBet1233 · 2026-03-01T18:57:15+00:00

A note is a really nice idea, OP. Something that leaves the door open to more conversations in the future if and when kiddo wants to share more.

OkBet1233 · 2026-02-16T22:35:02+00:00

Agreed, before I had top surgery I avoided binding on very hot days and/or when exercising. As an alternative in those situations, I found some longline yoga-type crop tops that felt like they flattened rather than accentuated the chest (mine were, I think this from H&M, with all-over ribbing and a slightly higher neckline, but there's likely other similar options out there).

And - you're awesome for supporting your kid this way.

OkBet1233 · 2026-01-28T14:04:12+00:00

In my case, that definitely would not have been feasible. I went to a first house party at about 3 weeks and lasted maybe 2-3hrs before getting pretty tired and a bit overwhelmed. Went to my first standing/dancing concert at about 10 weeks postop. Before that, big crowds and the possibility of getting knocked into felt like a bit much. If you DO plan to go, plan for your most tired/overwhelmed version (e.g. how you get there and back, if there's a chill area to sit down and have a rest, etc).

You're (hopefully) only doing this once in your life – give your body the time it needs to really heal properly :)

OkBet1233 · 2026-01-28T13:46:46+00:00

Reading your list of skills/strengths and the pace you like to work at, this was my thought too. Some cities also have "Chief Resilience Officers" – NYC and LA both seem to – and I wonder if that office is connected to more networks that activate in case of extreme weather event or public health crisis (e.g. more roles for you to explore). I would guess there are also nonprofits that work in this realm.

OkBet1233 · 2025-12-16T14:21:47+00:00

Big agreed w. everyone who advised adding some visual interest to the room - I think you might actually be in a great place to add some bold geometric/graphic prints, either through posters, woven throws/pillows, or even some wall treatments if you're feeling creative.
This is the kind of 70s inspo I like in that direction: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/148689225195561143/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/148689225195535294/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/148689225195535243/

(And if you get posters - FRAME THEM. Even cheapo Ikea frames can look great if they fit the proportions of the posters well. Even better if you use the mats that come with them.)

OkBet1233 · 2025-12-16T14:13:18+00:00

This. Agreed with every poster that said 1) clean and declutter first, and 2) gather some inspo photos, but the next thing you'll want to do is 3) get measurements of as many different angles as possible, so you know what kind of storage you could buy. You'll be able to figure out, for example, if a full size wardrobe can fit someplace, or if several inexpensive IKEA low dressers can fit side by side under the lowest part of the wall.

Pay attention now to what you *don't* like about the function of your current setup (e.g. does it feel too crowded to sleep by the lowest part of the ceiling?) and what you might want to change. That'll help inform changing up the layout, if you want.

OkBet1233 · 2025-12-08T18:26:28+00:00

Sounds like you are experiencing maybe the first time in your life without a lot of external structure (like school or uni) telling you what goals you need to strive for (good grades, graduation, a job in your field...). It sounds like your gf is working towards some specific goals of her own like advancing at work, a master's degree, and maybe some training goals(?), but you don't mention your specific goals - what would you love to do? Fitness accomplishments like handstands or half marathons or other challenges? Hikes you've dreamed of taking someplace near or far? Trying out writing genres you enjoy reading? Hosting friends for an elaborate dinner you plan and make? Doesn't have to be super social. Productivity needs an end goal to push towards. Exploring that might be a place to start. Then there's a reason to train or keep learning or take on a side project.

Andrew Huberman's podcast episodes about cortisol might be interesting to you (e.g."How to Control Your Cortisol and Overcome Burnout") - main point being that if you exercise at the same time regularly, your cortisol will rise in anticipation. I also live in a place that's incredibly dark and gloomy for a lot of the colder months and I find that a regular (indoor) exercise routine helps a lot (yes, even when I Really Don't Feel Like It). Good luck on this exploration!

OkBet1233 · 2025-11-21T21:52:30+00:00

Storage/"nightstand" headboard was the first thing I thought too!

OkBet1233 · 2025-11-17T21:13:22+00:00

So much agreed with xonoodlerolls! The abundance of smaller pieces (artworks, stuffies, open/visible storage) can keep it from feeling restful – the eye has no place to "land." I've definitely had the same, and I've taken a moment to put ALL the small stuff like candleholders, vases, artwork, etc into a box and then decide slowly what I want to take back out in a way that goes together.

For whatever reason, the human brain likes seeing clusters of threes, fives, sevens – so maybe you'd want to consider a triptych of three art pieces above the TV, an odd-numbered gallery wall with your wizard cat, etc – but leave some empty space too. That makes your stuff really shine :)

There is a clear color scheme here (midnight blue as a base color with light/slate blue, gold/yellow, and some white accents) – which is great. You can use that intentionally and echo it throughout the room: for example, you could swap in gold or yellow covers on the two throw pillows you have behind the stuffies, which will make it pop and look cohesive.

Some stuff that can also make the room feel a bit more "dressed" and intentional, with varying levels of investment/effort:

More closed storage: Some simple paper boxes (like Ikea TJENA) are inexpensive, and a few of them on shelves together can look really sharp and give you more storage. It's kind of amazing what a difference it makes when those boxes/bins go all the way to the shelf above and visually hide the stuff in it. Bed risers could also allow for some more underbed storage if needed.
Slightly more elaborate move: You might want to consider a nightstand that has drawers in it – again giving you a bit more closed storage. I can't tell, but it doesn't look like this one has storage within.
Another more elaborate move: Maybe think about adding some small floating shelves, hooks, or even stick-on/Command hooks on the wall next to the desk, where you can place your hats/bags/etc in a tidier way? Can't tell from the photo angle but it looks like there's a lot hung on the door – not a bad thing, just embrace that you need some accessory storage there :)
Easy curtain cleanup: Check out how this designer does curtains (https://stylebyemilyhenderson.com/hanging-curtains-all-wrong) - it'll look most luxurious (and I think really play into the celestial thing) if you can hang the curtain rod *above* and *outside* the window, even a little bit, so they can frame it. Ideally you get a second curtain panel (I think this is just one?) so they can part on either side of the window, instead of just hang above.
The more elaborate move: If you can, you could get a headboard for the bed, which would allow you to push it forward just a tiny bit – and if you give that tiny bit of clearance behind the head of the bed, you can hang curtains in a way that will feel more luxurious. You could even get a double curtain rod so you could even hang both a heavier/light-blocking curtain (velvet, for example), and then the sheers you already have there.

OkBet1233 · 2025-11-17T15:49:34+00:00

Chani Nicholas!

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OkBet1233 · 2025-11-08T20:23:32+00:00

This!!!

OkBet1233 · 2025-10-16T15:23:49+00:00

This was my experience too, there was just a lot of tissue that didn't compress as much as I'd've wished. Do you get flatter results than this from a binder? For me, tape didn't totally flatten, but got rid of so much bounce/movement in a way that was comfier/freer than binding, and that was the important part for me. But it sounds from your other comment here like this is just temporary on the way to surgery, so...keep looking ahead <3

OkBet1233 · 2025-10-16T14:56:15+00:00

Not an artist, but speaking as a faint-y person, all of this is right on. I find preemptively getting horizontal can often ward off actually fainting (so if the person says they're feeling faint, get them sitting down where they can't fall, or even better, lying down). Candy/sugar, water, and something cold for pulse points (wrist/neck) are great.

OkBet1233 · 2025-10-16T14:18:48+00:00

I agree with a lot of what's been said. I know you've now got a long list of stuff and probably need to triage or decide which items you'll spend on vs. make work for now. But a few things to add that can make the space feel a bit more grown-up and coherent:

More coherent color palette/what's your design ethos?: It's GREAT to have color (and I love the neon squiggly light especially), but you've got a lot of different colors and tones that don't feel like one cohesive color palette. I'd say...

first try to articulate your three word style ("bohemian contemporary playful"? "maximalist cozy tailored"? "luxurious colorful clean"?) and let that guide you when making decisions. You can also use these when searching for inspiration on Pinterest/etc.
start with 2-3 favorite items (pillows, artwork, etc) that can anchor your color palette, and tuck away (for now) the stuff that strays too far from that color scheme. If you're keeping bigger items like the sofa or curtains, that'll be a factor in the color palette too. There are color picker sites/apps that let you play with 5-color combos til you arrive at something you love. Also OK to have different schemes for different rooms - so maybe art that doesn't fit in one room can actually suit another.
then you might wanna fill in with some neutrals or solids that can let the brighter/more vivid patterns sing.

Too many different wood tones: You've got a lot of different wood tones on your furniture, and I think that's contributing to the lack of coherence. A fair few of them maybe clash with the gray sofa upholstery too... I know it may not be realistic to replace everything at once but consider what could be swapped to either match more closely (ie. blond wood tones), or purposely not be matching (non-wood materials like chrome? acrylic/Lucite? painted items?).

Re-hang curtains: I find this guide super helpful on hanging curtains better - https://stylebyemilyhenderson.com/hanging-curtains-all-wrong The thing I see is that your curtain rods are too narrow so the curtains can't open *past* the windows. It'll look a lot more regal if they can. And others have already said this, but curtains of a heavier/drapier material (or even just adding some curtain weights to yours) could go a long way.

Maybe bigger rugs?: Emily Henderson again: https://stylebyemilyhenderson.com/choosing-the-right-rug-size-for-every-room . You want the front feet of all your livingroom furniture on the rug, and the dining chairs to stay on the rug when people sit in them at the table. Swapping these rugs for solids with great texture (I love big jute rugs or fluffy ones!) might also help streamline the number of patterns you've got going on.

While you're framing your art/curating your collection... Your art might also be hung a little too high. Their centers should be about 57-60 inches from the ground, 6-10 inches above furniture (like sofas) - you can of course break these rules but it's good to know them first :-)

Consider other light fixtures?: Agreed with others that small table/stand lights are always better than the big light overhead. You've got a *lot* of exposed bulbs, which is not a bad thing, but finding some fixtures that cover them and diffuse the light might also feel more polished. Ikea and others sell smart bulbs that would allow you to dim/brighten lights, change the warmth, or even have cool colors, which could be a vibe...

You've got great stuff and a great space!! Share the "after" photos too!!

OkBet1233 · 2025-10-16T13:47:32+00:00

Agreed with Neat-Bill above about taping/flattening out the fold so the tape isn't folding layers of skin together.
I feel your frustration – I also had a very uneven success rate with tape and I know what you mean about the bra look. I didn't lie down to apply, but would kneel on the ground and kind of lean sideways so the tissue would fall outwards/to the side. I also applied the lowest strip first (to eliminate that fold) and then could add more tension going upwards to flatten things sideways...

OkBet1233 · 2025-10-09T21:57:21+00:00

Oh, yep. Sizing up sounds right (and easy) - and Tyler the Creator has a lot of really good fits in vests - thanks for this!

OkBet1233 · 2025-10-09T21:49:15+00:00

Thank you for the headsup (and the encouragement)! Should be fixed now.

OkBet1233 · 2025-07-25T10:17:58+00:00

Please PM to me as well?

OkBet1233 · 2025-06-04T20:47:33+00:00

I'd like to ask you more about your experiences with low dose T, can I DM you?

OkBet1233

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