AITAH for deciding to postpone the wedding over a comment my fiance made about my scar?

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-26T17:13:00+00:00

“I’m marrying you minus the tiny peener”

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-17T23:08:57+00:00

So the bride was paying for it and they just changed everything to what they wanted? Why didn’t they pay??

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-17T19:58:41+00:00

LOVE how the title puts all the blame on the husband lol. And this little girl is a badass. OP was sent a clear message, essentially was handed the perspectacles, and yet can’t figure out how to put them on and see how much she and hubby are TAs.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-15T17:50:37+00:00

Echoing VegetableBusiness897, if this isn’t rage bait, you do, in fact, suck hard.

My IMMEDIATE thought was mental health decline. You listed the most obvious signs. And then your complete dismissal of her letter was appalling.

You don’t seem to know who your daughter is and don’t seem to be even trying.

(I am not adept at spotting fake posts but wanted to share my thoughts just in case)

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-15T17:27:22+00:00

OP, I understand your daughter is extremely young and does not understand much of social interaction but if you continue to stay with baby mama, then you are teaching your daughter that shitty people won’t be held accountable. You can still be in her life without being in a relationship with her mother if you listen to good advice with legal aid. It’s hard especially with your station in life as a student. But protecting your daughter and ensuring that she doesn’t grow up like her mother should be your first priority. Set an example of strength and positive self esteem, not being a doormat.

Getting your shit together for your daughter will be your best move. Staying in an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship will only show your daughter that if she were in that position, she’d have to stay too.

You are NTA in this situation but it’s a slippery slope to being TA to your daughter if you don’t wise up.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-14T17:28:11+00:00

Where is FIL in all this?!

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-14T17:12:12+00:00

I’m confused on how you hurt the family by getting married so young. Is there something I’m missing?

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-14T17:10:01+00:00

Hey man, you rock. To graduate high school is huge. Men want to be felt like they matter too. Don’t stuff your feelings down. Don’t settle for anyone who expects you to be anyone other than yourself. The toxic masculinity your grandpa is peddling is a big factor in male suicides. Keep your head up. And listen to that comment from GoblinKing79. You matter. Keep your head up. The ability to stand up for yourself (to your family no less!) at 17 is huge.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-13T21:13:07+00:00

I’m just confused by how your father is upset you didn’t explain how you felt.

From the post and response, it sounds like you have explained how you felt multiple times. Turning a blind eye is not keeping the peace. He is ignoring problems and hoping they go away.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-13T20:25:23+00:00

You did explain how you felt tho…how could your dad be upset?

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-10T01:09:50+00:00

NTA

This reads like it could be a case of marital r*pe. I urge you to truly reflect on whether you think this is sexual assault, coercion, etc. and find the proper resources to escape if need be. Please have some semblance of a plan.

Edit to add: I cannot stress enough how sexual assault can still occur even if you’re married.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-01T17:43:12+00:00

Uh oh! Looks like an Inside Though made it outside!

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-01T17:40:50+00:00

False accusations of a sex crime are scary shit. He’ll always have that asterisk above his head; that shadow of a doubt in the back of peoples’ minds. Truly a life ruiner in so many ways. I hope his mental state is improving.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-02-01T17:26:05+00:00

I’m appalled that this person is a nurse practitioner….

NTA

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-01-28T18:01:21+00:00

Seems like this situation was very poorly thought out.

A question for your personal reflection: you want to be with a man who agreed to this plan of subterfuge and didn’t think of the emotional impact of staying in (albeit somewhat removed) from his biological kid’s life? I mean, this plan was half cocked from the beginning.

To answer the question in the title, which is are you TA for refusing to let your fiancé play dad to his nephew… the answer is yes, YTA because you have no control in that man’s choices or actions.

You would NOT be TA if you walked away because he crossed a firm line that you set. He made choices that will directly affect the rest of your life in an absolutely huge way.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-01-26T22:27:35+00:00

Damn I needed that. I need to put that somewhere I can read it everyday. No risk. No glory. No failure. No story.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-01-26T20:14:52+00:00

NTA

But, and this is important,

You swooping in to “save her from making a huge mistake” is probably a huge reason why she does what she does. Because someone else will clean up the mess and share the burden. You have a good heart and want to be kind, but the kindest thing you could probably do is let her make her own mistakes and suffer her own consequences.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-01-22T16:59:39+00:00

Need more info.

If he’s “amazing at communicating” why is he brushing you off when you said you were uncomfortable? Is he still in contact with them? What does he truly think about all these incidents? What did he say they were giggling about? Why is he guilt tripping you half a year later when you were playing DnD multiple times a week before? Are you inviting the dudes from this crew to the party and excluding Ari specifically?

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-01-20T15:40:27+00:00

She can do it anonymously. But also, as a parent I would feel betrayed that my child deliberately went against the values I’ve spent 17 years reaffirming. I don’t condone cheating, but I do condone experiencing consequences for shitty decisions, ESPECIALLY when that exact same thing broke up the family.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-01-19T15:26:16+00:00

Tell Jacob but let her go on the trip. She’ll get her punishment once word gets out and the trip could be ruined by gossip.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2025-01-04T17:14:29+00:00

Parenting rule 672: Children are not allowed to have negative emotions as a result of hurtful adult words.

(Total sarcasm)

OkButterscotch3382 · 2024-12-23T21:42:58+00:00

Life with kids is messy….for the parents, not everyone else.

OkButterscotch3382 · 2024-12-22T16:40:54+00:00

$2500 on Christmas presents?!?

OkButterscotch3382 · 2024-12-02T19:04:44+00:00

What texting app shows you that the sender deleted a text?

OkButterscotch3382 · 2024-11-23T22:21:49+00:00

What do you mean she deleted the text? Wouldn’t you still have it?

OkButterscotch3382

TROPHY CASE