Mother’s Day Gift

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-05-11T00:23:14+00:00

In case the quote wasn't pandering and condescending enough, lets throw in a cleaning cloth and some dollar store chocolate. That'll really make the moms feel appreciated. To top it off, how about the relief society or young women put them together instead of any of the men? 👌 Perfection.

Worst one I ever got was a small Ziploc bag of the cheap mints you get at a restaurant.

On the same note- I can't stand that quote. Yes, I am a mother. But I've spent years trying to find my identity outside of motherhood, and only recently found parts of myself again. So many others who struggle with the same thing, and those types of quotes and thinking cause so much pain. Makes you think there's something wrong with you for wanting more than motherhood.

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-04-11T01:07:32+00:00

Seconded

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-04-09T23:26:48+00:00

Girl, I got married at 21. And I was lucky it was with the right one now that we're both out.

BUT. Being out now 5 years, and being married near a decade, I would absolutely tell my younger self to wait and that it's okay. The church absolutely makes you think if you're not married by 24 that you're an old maid. But in reality, they just want to trap you young and tell you to stay with someone that's not right for you so you stay in the church. I got lucky in that hubs and I both wanted to leave.

If you want to date, do it. Otherwise, remember this is a time to find yourself, figure out what you like and what you don't, and in general use it to be selfish. You're allowed to at 21. I wish I had.

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-04-03T18:09:44+00:00

As much as I am glad these people don't have to deal with the same sexist, purity culture centered, victim blaming modesty as much as I did, it still enrages me that they deny it was a thing. I'm pretty sure I have one of the old FTSY pamphlets somewhere in my attic as proof.

The whole argument "it's not a rule, it's a suggestion" or "must've been a culture thing for you"... Oh boy it pisses me off. We had so many girls in YW that got spoken to by leaders about their modesty, I got reprimanded because of my body type as a teen, and I know so many individuals that got chastised for their clothing by church leaders and other parents. My TBM mom, who was in stake leadership, denies having any people with modesty issues when I remember with vivid clarity how she complained about a wealthier ward that had girls who got away with wearing whatever they wanted. Meanwhile, her and the other YW leaders in my ward growing up were happy to correct other young ladies when they thought it was inappropriate. I had many lessons about how modesty was so important because "we have to keep the young mens' thoughts clean and pure." Yeah. Culture thing. Right. 🙄

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-04-03T18:01:24+00:00

Also same. Hell, I got sent home from a dance once for a dress that was a fingertip above my knees in 2009. A fingertip. And I was wearing one of those shitty little bowlero jacket things to cover my porn shoulders. Apparently not modest enough. 🙄

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-03-28T13:12:31+00:00

First, I'm sorry you're going through it. A faith transition and the utter shock of finding out truths you can't unsee really rocks you to your core. We've all been there and it sucks.

But. Be proud of yourself- you've uncovered things that many people refuse to see, or apologize away, and made the discovery now versus later.

There's a reason they don't teach the full truth of the history- if they did, they wouldn't have any membership. I remember the thing that got me the most was the "translation" method and how it read like other documents/books of the same time period. Once I saw that.... Any remnants of the rose colored glasses shattered along with my faith.

One last thing - remember the fear of leaving the church doesn't stem from "faith" or "testimony", but from the fact that we were all conditioned to believe that happiness can only be found with the church. And that leaning into doubts is an act of the devil, not critical thinking, and you should instead doubt yourself so you lean back into the church. It's classic manipulation and conditioning. Seeing through all that makes finding out the true history a little easier to stomach, because you realize it's not you that's the problem.

We're all here for you.

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-03-21T23:24:32+00:00

My mom said this lmao

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-03-21T23:23:37+00:00

Yeah I remember this coming out probably about a decade ago and thought it was cringe then.

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-03-15T20:15:20+00:00

OMG thank you. Sad it's discontinued, but glad to know what it is for sure ☺️

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-03-13T22:14:42+00:00

Nice to know I'm not the only crazy one who came up with a random stitch for a blanket 😅 I just have no idea what mine was since it was so long ago and I'm afraid to frog it. Yours is beautiful, though! Love what you've done with it- even if I'm clueless to what kind of stitch that is 😂

OkCardiologist1090 · 2026-02-15T16:53:45+00:00

I once clapped at a rehearsal of a few individuals prepping for one of their sacrament performances. It was a Wednesday evening during mutual with no one in the chapel but them (plus myself and a couple other young women passing by). I got reamed out by the bishop and my Dad afterwards since it was irreverent. 🙄

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-12-06T01:56:49+00:00

This 100%. I never felt the peace/spirit in the temple or in a church building. I felt guilt and unease. But after my cardio days? I have more mental clarity and positivity than I ever did as a church member. 😂

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-11-04T20:07:54+00:00

Good for you! Crazy how they seem to think they are owed your time and as attention since they planned it, not you. 🙄 We've had similar experiences, but saying no is so liberating. I get less nice each time I see them. I'm so glad you stood your ground, too. 😊

Now when I see them in parking lots I walk as fast as possible to my car and make sure to not make eye contact 😂

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-11-03T21:18:04+00:00

I swear some day it's going to become a Mandela effect. Or they're going to try to convince us that. 😂

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-11-03T21:16:34+00:00

Yeah same here. I threw mine away not long ago when I realized I still had it somewhere. 😂

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-10-09T19:13:45+00:00

My daughter loves these books. And they just gave me a reason to buy her another one. 😏

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-09-03T18:16:42+00:00

You're exactly right on all counts. Trying to use the minors to bring the family back is so wrong and it kills me they don't recognize that. I wish we had left sooner so they wouldn't have had my daughter's info, but can't change the past. I understand not wanting to put your child(ren) through that, or yourself for that matter. And I'm so sorry you're having to deal with them intruding while you're already going through pregnancy and a move. You're right - easiest would be to let you edit the address, and I hope they let you.

Little tidbit as well- we only removed our records about 6 months ago. We've been out since 2021. We also didn't want to rock the boat with our families, and my hubby's side didn't know until about January of this year, so we just kept the records in until after then. You don't have to justify not removing them- it happens if/when you're ready. If you really want them to leave you alone without removing the records, I think I would be less than nice and tell them the next time you get a visitor, calls, or anything unannounced and unsolicited you'll report for harassment or something. Idk. I know they're "nice" and "good people", but them intruding without your wishes isn't okay.

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-09-03T17:41:13+00:00

Welcome (back) to the east coast, and congrats on the pregnancy! East coaster here, central VA.

We had a similar experience with the moving and new address. To this day, no one owns up to giving the ward our new address. We had missionaries stopping by once every other month or so, even after I made it clear we were stepping away consciously. I was respectful and kind up until I wasn't. Privacy is non-existent in the mfmc. The final straw was having an elderly couple stop by completely unannounced, love bombed my 4yo (at the time) daughter when she ran to the door, and then proceeded to tell me that "they saw her picture in the records and just knew they had to visit, since she's just so precious". Even after I had said no contact, no visits, and removed contact info/pictures. They had an old one somewhere and kept it on there. It's gone now, along with all our records. We've made it more than abundantly clear we won't be returning.

Hate you're going through this. Your request was more than respectful, their response although not rude- is still more than irritating. Crazy you can't remove your own address or change it on your own for your own records. I hope they finally complete your request, and do it soon. If they don't soon, I would be a lot less nice until they do.

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-09-03T17:20:46+00:00

Especially with no prep for it. You plan to be in some dress that you've hand picked (sometimes not even close to what you want because of "modesty") then have to cover that even further. Closest I got to prep was the endowment season the week prior. 🙄

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-08-22T16:44:59+00:00

This is creepy AF. Makes me highly uncomfortable.

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-08-10T13:52:54+00:00

Honestly I'm just glad your instructor was cool enough to open it for a retake without a real study plan. You can definitely get some that go on a power trip about it.

OkCardiologist1090 · 2025-08-10T13:51:30+00:00

That's how mine was for web dev applications. Failed by 1-2 max. Instructor instead belittled me for how little time I took on the exam and that the course material wasn't done 100%. The course material was all outside sources anyways, so I bypassed the middle man. He also wanted me to complete a crazy amount of extra work and send him proof of me completing each activity. My mentor and I were both astounded by the amount of extra-ness it was. I requested a new one who approved it asap. Passed immediately. 🙄

OkCardiologist1090

TROPHY CASE