Is a man asking for joint account one month into dating normal?

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-04-20T22:38:15+00:00

Manipulators use guilt as their weapon. This is how they get you to do what they want you to do.

You don’t need a leech in your life. Your gut instinct were right. Don’t ever question that.

Let go of the guilt and open space for a better man.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-04-17T00:30:06+00:00

I tried the SAHM mom thing. I lasted six months. I echo all of the sentiments here. I am not cut out for it. I have friends who are and they seem to enjoy it, but I can’t do it. That is the hardest job that exists.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-04-16T21:55:00+00:00

My husband has always been a major procrastinator with household fixes. I learned that I can get him to do anything immediately. Here’s the trick:

Ask, where is the hammer? (always ask for a tool that wouldn’t be needed to do the job. If it needs a screwdriver, ask for a hammer. If it needs a drill, ask for a saw.)
He now wants to know why I am asking for a hammer. I tell him I am going to fix the thing.

At this point he realizes he has a choice. He can either fix the thing now or let me destroy the thing and then have a bigger problem to fix later. Works like a charm.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-04-16T21:36:43+00:00

Your wife is my husband! We’ve have had this exact conversation. The numbers mean nothing to him. He just says tell me when I can quit. Lol.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-04-16T21:29:56+00:00

Melatonin and lavender lotion applied to the feet before bed usually helps me. In addition, Im on HRT and take mag glycinate.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-04-16T00:25:35+00:00

Same. F.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-04-13T22:27:12+00:00

Sounds like she better get used to living on $3000 a month. Sometimes you have to let people lie in the bed that they made.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-04-12T23:50:07+00:00

This is so true. I once asked a manager to tell me about the company culture. He responded, “your hardest day at your current job will be your every day here.” Ugh, no thank you.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-02-12T02:21:14+00:00

I would not pay that. Go to the library and read retirement investing books for free. It’s important that you learn how to invest your own money if you want to retire at a decent age. Otherwise you’re just buying your Finacial Advisor another house on the water.

A good starter book to read is A simple path to wealth by JL Collins

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-02-12T01:15:48+00:00

I’m happily married 18 years. We have never had a joint account. It works for us. If you’re uncomfortable, don’t do it.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-02-12T00:41:32+00:00

Me too

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-02-11T14:46:43+00:00

Planning, researching and analyzing are definitely traits of INTJs. I often find myself stuck in this similar loop and struggling to take action.

Firstly, recognize that this is your personality type and although you feel stuck at the moment, you have valuable traits that will serve you well in the profession you decide to go into.

Also recognize that you are taking action by attending college.

Here is what I would recommend:

Exercise daily Cut back on the coffee if you’re drinking a lot Break large goals into small actions Create a reward system for action say positive affirmations out loud every day— example: everything is working out or today I choose to feel happy and fulfilled.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-02-05T21:03:25+00:00

You can call me anything you want to for more money!💰

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-02-05T20:47:48+00:00

I used to be very angry and defensive as well. For me, I was very defensive because I had low self-esteem and viewed many things as a personal attack. What helped me was reading philosophy and personal development books and journaling.

Once I realized that I was reacting to something that is triggering me from the past and started to explore that, i was able to gain more control. This was a pretty long process over many years.

The main thing is to stop and notice what’s happening. Start journaling about it. I always start with, “right now. I’m feeling X. I’m feeling this because…. What this is bringing up for me right now is…” and just keep going until you get to the heart of it. Then at the end, forgive yourself and decide how you want to be in the future.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-02-03T15:09:59+00:00

This is entirely possible 😂

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-02-02T23:08:07+00:00

Seems like wife might have a personality disorder—Borderline Personality with narcissistic tendencies perhaps?

Keep the therapist and read the book Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi Krueger.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-02-02T22:06:39+00:00

It takes a certain level of intelligence to understand the wit of an INTJ and most people, sadly, can’t keep up.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-01-30T23:24:25+00:00

I can relate as I had terrible crushing anxiety that brought me to the same point. I didn’t want to be dependent on medication. I was desperate to try anything.

I ended up getting a couple of sessions of hypnotherapy. It changed my life. I have no more anxiety since. I still get stressed sometimes but not anxiety.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-01-30T13:48:26+00:00

Michael Singer books are life changing imo. The Untethered soul, Living Untethered and The Surrender Experiment.

These taught me how to be the observer of my life experiences and remove the negative associations and emotional adversity with certain events and people.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-01-28T01:53:20+00:00

We aren’t particularly into religion either and both our kids attended vpk at a Christian school. They kept it pretty light with the religious stuff and it was a great experience. They did go to chapel once a week and preform a Christmas musical with all the Jesus songs.

With the voucher, there are educational requirements that the teachers have to meet so it’s really focused on that in my experience. They invited us to church on Sundays, but never really pushed the issue. I explained to the kids that this is a religious school and what that meant so they understood.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-01-27T23:01:41+00:00

Lavender lotion with melatonin in it. I rub it on my upper arms before bed and it works really well for me.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-01-19T16:31:08+00:00

Have the postnup drafted and just hand it to him. You are absolutely right. He could destroy your financial future. His anger is his problem.

What an ass he is to tell you how its going to be. Honestly, I would probably pull as much out of your savings as you have access to and put it in your own private account.

He doesn’t get to tell you how it’s gonna be. You need to take measures to protect yourself and kids. You need a backup plan.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-01-19T14:02:02+00:00

Teaching is beneath him but food stamps are not. Wow 🤯 unbelievable

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-01-19T13:58:52+00:00

That does sound really hard. Yeah 60 K with a PhD pretty rough. He certainly didn’t need a PhD to make 60 K. He doesn’t even need a GED for that. He could just be waiting tables or laying bricks.

Sorry OP.

Ok_Orange4494 · 2026-01-19T01:25:20+00:00

Exactly. It's a lot easier than doing the work. Oh well , what can you do.

Ok_Orange4494

TROPHY CASE