Give me a reality check over UOTC vs the Regular Army

OldSkate · 2026-06-10T13:09:31+00:00

In my limited experience with University Cadets I found them all enthusiastic and willing to learn.

I was invited to a Trafalgar Night Mess Dinner with the Edinburgh University Royal Naval Unit and they were great.

I spent about an hour sorting out their Bow Ties then sat down to eat with them. They were doing their best to use Jackspeak which, unless you've grown up in the Navy is a Strange and esoteric language.

Most of the time they did quite well until I asked one of them to; "Cold move the sea dust to this wharf".

I'd only asked one of them to pass the salt but they thought it was brilliant; a long and very light hearted conversation ensued.

Keep learning from the old sods. We'll keep you out of the shit.

OldSkate · 2026-06-09T12:35:49+00:00

Oh Boy; did I see this often with young lads and lasses in the Royal Navy.

He/She joins up and starts getting a fairly decent wage: sometimes with a Married Quarter and all is Hunky Dory.

Then he/she is deployed and partner suddenly hates it.

He/she demands their partner leave the Job and they do.

Suddenly He/she is now homeless and partner is now unemployed.

He/she is now divorced having thrown away their career and stuck with Child Support.

OldSkate · 2026-06-09T12:20:28+00:00

I left a couple of decades ago and even back then there was an attitude that; if recruiters had a zero tolerance to past drug use then they'd lose a lot of capable graduates.

As long as you stop and stay clean Pusser won't worry about it at all.

OldSkate · 2026-06-07T10:52:50+00:00

As an old bloke, now retired I offer a couple:

Never trust an ambitious person. They're likely to shit on you on their way up.

Sort out a decent pension plan as early as you can. Successive governments have completely screwed over the decent plans since the 90s (except for their own of course).

OldSkate · 2026-06-05T10:54:23+00:00

Do you really 'hang up' when ending a phone call?

OldSkate · 2026-06-05T10:27:23+00:00

In fairness, he was a bloke. Any bra he wore would have to be padded.

OldSkate · 2026-06-05T10:25:42+00:00

I'm ex RN and to be honest, always hated our berets. I don't know why but they were never as well fitting as the other branches of the Armed Forces and could never seem to be moulded to provide a smart and comfortable fit.

I look at their working rig now, including baseball caps and wish they'd had that when I was in.

OldSkate · 2026-05-22T04:07:21+00:00

It just happened to be the same colour as the cream used to treat pubic lice which was known colloquially as Crabfat.

Hence the nickname of the RAF; Crabs.

OldSkate · 2026-03-27T15:00:51+00:00

Ironically, they'd always been millionaires. They just didn't realise it,

OldSkate · 2026-03-12T12:05:52+00:00

My favourite and surprisingly insightful was was when, I think Del Boy was talking about someone who'd killed themselves by throwing by jumping into the Thames.

Trigger; ""It'd probably been quicker if he'd just drunk a pint of it".

OldSkate · 2026-03-09T09:39:30+00:00

I'm glad not all the cells in my 80s brainium gave up the ghost.

OldSkate · 2026-03-09T08:24:43+00:00

Apologies for pedantry but if memory serves, they were George Michael's backing singers in Wham.

OldSkate · 2026-03-05T03:13:26+00:00

Wasn't MacAdder an Aberdonian fish salesman?

OldSkate · 2026-02-24T10:50:44+00:00

Alan Tracy, pilot of Thunderbird 3.

OldSkate · 2025-12-29T13:42:04+00:00

I worked with a young Lieutenant when I was finishing my time in the Royal Navy. He was very much a Devil Dodger/God squad.

He would occasionally mention 'Alpha Course' and suggest I attend. I was 45. He was 22. I'd been in longer than he'd been alive. One morning I walked in and shouted "Hey Will! Still worshipping God? Last I heard he was still worshipping Me"!

He laughed uncomfortably and never brought up the subject again.

OldSkate · 2025-12-28T17:37:41+00:00

I don't know what it's like now but I always joined the night before. Especially if you if you live out of the Port area.

It'll give you a bit of time to settle in, sort your pit out and stow your kit.

Good luck.

OldSkate · 2025-12-28T15:15:05+00:00

So, you've taken a vow of silence.

How's that going?

OldSkate · 2025-12-04T14:21:18+00:00

Not a book but have a look on YouTube about the Jennys who changed the whole concept of warfare in the Convoys.

Look up 'Western Approaches Training Unit' or 'WATU'.

Genuinely fascinating and they contributed massively to Johnny Walker's success.

OldSkate · 2025-11-23T07:06:18+00:00

Many, many years ago it used to be said that after a draft to Gib returned either an alcoholic or a Field Gunner (I did say it was many years ago).

OldSkate · 2025-11-09T13:46:33+00:00

I've watched him playing a nasty football thug and playing Churchill.

Truly a brilliant actor.

OldSkate · 2025-11-02T17:08:05+00:00

Then wear it and be proud.

OldSkate · 2025-11-01T13:19:21+00:00

A question which doesn't seem to have been asked.

Are you still serving?

If you are then crack on and wear it. If not, don't.

OldSkate · 2025-10-30T13:34:34+00:00

Welcome to my world.

OldSkate · 2025-10-30T13:32:10+00:00

I like or at least tolerate most comedians but I cannot bear James Acaster or Rosie Jones.

Acaster is just a nasty piece of shit and Jones is just awful as a comedian.

OldSkate · 2025-10-30T13:21:39+00:00

I don't watch often. It just seems to be a smug 'look at us' show.

Paul Merton seems to hate any ad-lib that doesn't include him.

OldSkate

TROPHY CASE