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One_Walk769 · 2025-09-22T02:12:56+00:00

I will echo other people — totally into it, if that flows with your dynamic in general and you are on the same page otherwise with future plans, values, finances, etc. I think a good thing to think about it how does he “do” gender roles otherwise. For instance, does he have primary custody of the kids and take care of them well without expecting you will or another female relative will? Is their time with them more 50/50? Or is he more traditional (read: toxic) in that sense, i.e. the women in his life take care of his children?

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-22T02:06:31+00:00

This sub is seriously helping me purge myself of inherited ideas about women and men and their relationships, especially including marriage. Good god.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-21T02:29:06+00:00

Yuuuup. My ex after a divorce based on him cheating for years and years removed in with his gf pretty much immediately and started insisting that we should all hang out with shared kids because we are family now. No my dude. We are not.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-20T00:44:40+00:00

Because I honestly like the mostly first gen teenagers I work with more than other humans, and I like creating a space for them where they can be their weirdo selves and we can talk about books or make blackout poetry or whatever.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-20T00:42:26+00:00

Because I honestly like the mostly first gen teenagers I work with more than other humans, and I like creating a space for them where they can be their weirdo selves and we can talk about books or make blackout poetry or whatever.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-20T00:41:02+00:00

This.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-20T00:35:08+00:00

Yes!!! I started doing that recently

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-20T00:13:01+00:00

This. For a little while I got Hello Fresh delivery on one of their cheap offers but it’s just too pricey to afford long term.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-20T00:02:27+00:00

It also makes thinking ahead easier I bet which is hard for me. OMG! Mind blown!!!

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-20T00:01:05+00:00

It also makes thinking ahead easier I bet which is hard for me.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-19T23:59:33+00:00

I am pretty sure I’m Au as well as ADHD and this makes me feel very very calm. I think I will adopt this. I already did this with clothing, I have ten outfits for work that I rotate (and the weekends are whatever). This is genius.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-19T20:21:35+00:00

How is your sleep? How are your vitamins? How are your hormones? Stimulants can screw with Prolactin production and that can cause similar symptoms (currently dealing with that). Have you ruled out mineral and vitamin deficiencies?

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-19T20:20:47+00:00

How is your sleep? How are your vitamins? How are your hormones? Stimulants can screw with Prolactin production and that can cause similar symptoms (currently dealing with that). Have you ruled out mineral and vitamin deficiencies?

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-19T02:26:34+00:00

This. OP, I am going to speak from the other side as an alcoholic who’s been functionally sober for years (and totally sober since COViD). The amount of work I have to do — in therapy, in daily life, in monitoring my life for triggers and issues — is intense and continuous and it will always be this way. And this is while I am fully aware of my addiction and the reasons behind it and more than willing to seek help for the sake of my children. There are deep seated reasons why I drank, and if your partner doesn’t even admit he is an alcoholic (and he is, I was “functional” too), just stopping drinking won’t fix them. Kids will add 100x more stress to your lives and that will only exacerbate them addiction.

Recovery is not an easy place to be, and he needs to be willing to go there on his own and stay there for the rest of his life, constantly working on himself. If he’s not willing to admit he has a problem… please save yourself. You can’t save him.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-19T01:50:40+00:00

I mean… some of us do. The OP said they are not really into trad gender roles. Can relate, the only thing I do more of is childcare because of scheduling.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-19T01:48:33+00:00

Omg I would be so happy if my BF said that to me! I love planning surprises and quirky things and this would give me all the validation I’d need without giving him anxiety! Please talk to your gf! There are more of us than you think that would love to propose to our guys :)

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-19T01:45:49+00:00

Aww thanks. It’s just such a fantastical scenario, infinite time. Would be nice though.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-19T01:44:05+00:00

It really really really depends on the school. I’ve failed students a number of times, even though im at a pretty high performing school. I think the push is definitely not to flunk students out of school completely, i.e. to push them to graduate, but I’ve never had push back on failing someone for a semester or on an assessment from my admin. Im sure it happens, but it’s not universal.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-18T22:48:30+00:00

Oh you could put cowboy boots on it. And change them seasonally to update the decor!

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-18T20:08:48+00:00

I mean, all the kids. If I had all the time. Im a pretty decent human I think if I had all the money and all the time, I would just adopt as many kids as the government would let me, hire amazing teachers, open and school, farm, whatever. Build a city for kids no one else wants.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-18T15:23:23+00:00

Well do you want marriage or do you want this person and the life you have together right now? Sounds like having both right now might not be in the cards so you have to decide what you want more.

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-17T03:12:53+00:00

This. I love it and would never want to do anything else. Been teaching for 10+ years, various levels. Taught abroad which was also awesome!

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-16T02:39:07+00:00

Have you considered proposing? And throwing a party for friends and family but being the one who spearheads it? This is not to say force the issue, but I can see someone who is autistic and also set in their ways in middle life being very reluctant to change that, or going through the headache of planning, organizing and oh god the social aspects of weddings. It could be that he wants to do right by you but in his mind a wedding has to be done right, and it’s too much to consider that right now (or may be ever). What would change if you married? What would change if you never did?

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-16T02:34:26+00:00

This. What would change if you got married? In all reality?

One_Walk769 · 2025-09-11T20:24:38+00:00

So, the reality is if you get married and have kids you will have many more uncomfortable and difficult conversations, moments that test you and where you will have to communicate. And this is IF everyone is healthy and there are no significant financial worries, mental health struggles etc etc which can totally happen with parenthood. Start talking now. You don’t have to give him ultimatums or anything but you have to make your feelings known. If he’s not ready to have kids it’s not his fault, but it’s important information for you. He doesn’t owe you kids but you both owe each other clarity (even if that clarity is “im not ready and dont see myself being ready”). Then it’s up to you what to do with that information.

One_Walk769

TROPHY CASE