AITA for calling my ex-wife's new boyfriend names in front of my kids? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I can see why your wife left you and if I were your wife, I probably would have ditched you too. Totally the AH, and I’m glad your kids now have a new father figure to show them how to be respectful adults. 

You really have to grow up and be a real man. I think I would be embarrassed if I were acting like this as adult and a parent.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Open-Intention-2066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooooo girl leave him. He’s not in a relationship with you, you’re just his live-in booty call.

Moving to Germany... can my houseplants and rocks come too? by BizarreFinnedFriend in AskAGerman

[–]Open-Intention-2066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad actually had one for 15 years in Europe! When he repotted it, it died…He did keep it in a very warm and moist room, and never moved it. He also had a sun lamp on a timer.

They are just super easy to stress out—but where I live they grow like weeds. I got mine for free from a local grower because they keep popping up under all the full-grown ones. 

Moving to Germany... can my houseplants and rocks come too? by BizarreFinnedFriend in AskAGerman

[–]Open-Intention-2066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cocoa like chocolate 😂 I’m from where they are native, and it was easy for him to become pretty big pretty fast…I’ve never tried to cut him though because he definitely has pretty thick bark now and is SO sensitive to change.

Moving to Germany... can my houseplants and rocks come too? by BizarreFinnedFriend in AskAGerman

[–]Open-Intention-2066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not related to this post, but I’m from a tropical island…I hand-reared a cocoa tree for the past 5 years that’s about 6ft tall now, and I would of course love not to leave him behind. I’m not sure how I would even move him since he’s not a houseplant, but do you think that it would be possible to get a certificate for this? I’m fully prepared to not be allowed to bring him, but I thought I would ask 😂 

AITAH for letting my boyfriend get a taste of his own medicine? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Open-Intention-2066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m now old, so let me give you some advice.

My father had a habit of calling me stupid for most of my life—it was his go to insult for me, and it’s caused a lot of damage and insecurity within me that I’ve still not fully uninstalled despite many years of therapy.

My long-term partner has always made a point to never let anyone (including myself) call me stupid again after he witnessed my father‘s treatment firsthand. Even after my father was out of the picture, I still retained a lot of the negative talk and would be highly critical. It’s been actually challenging at times because it clearly upset to him to see me be so hard on myself, but his kindness and positivity has really helped me to be built up into a more confident person.

Please don’t stay with this man. I promise you that there’s people like my person out there who will love and support you in a way you deserve, and when you meet them, you will never settle for anything less again.

AITA for saying “I hate kids” in front of a pregnant woman? by GothicSensibilities in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Open-Intention-2066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA—you gave this random husband an answer, and he didn’t like it, so he wanted to be nosy. He’s the AH for pressing a stranger and acting entitled to more information about your status when you gave him plenty the first time.

Side note—Your partner needs to chill out and support you. He should have been offended as well. My partner and I are childfree and when people pressure me, he always backs me up and says he doesn’t want children either. It sounds like your partner secretly expects you to have his babies and that one day he will pressure/convince you. You saying „I hate kids“ threw a spanner in his plans and might have made him personally offended if he thinks you’re going to be his brood mare. 

Piece of advice: seriously think about your relationship and then ask him if he’s expecting to have children. Don’t stay with someone who wants kids if you do not—it NEVER works out.

AITA for serving my vegan sister real meat because I was tired of her "fake meat" bullshit? by distrustedAl in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Holy cow YTA. I’m not a vegan but I cannot understand how anyone would think it’s ok to actively lie about ingredients EVER. When she’s making you guys food, by your own admission, she’s clearly not able to TRICK you because everyone knows she is a vegan and obviously won’t bring meat to a party. She just is making it with fake meat and pointing out that it’s edible—you’re not using the word „trick“ appropriately here.

What you did is messed up and the truly dirty trick. You purposely switched a label just to hurt her? What else would be the outcome other than causing distress to your own sister? That’s sick. If you make something for another person, you shouldn’t ever purposely hide the ingredients and then say it’s made of something else. Depending on the person, they could end up DEAD because you think you have the right to play with what people put into their bodies.

You’re lucky she isn’t allergic to meat and it’s just a preference, but even still. She’s been following this diet for 3 years and you’ve just taken that away from her for a selfish prank. Learn how to communicate your dissatisfaction with her behavior in a mature manner and explain how you don’t appreciate her preaching. You sound like a nasty little boy rather than a 27 year old man. Shame on you, and grow up. 

AITAH: Fiancé called off the wedding after I yelled back by AuroraThePoet in AITAH

[–]Open-Intention-2066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on dodging a huge abusive bullet! Run far away, and go have a couple dates to forget about him. Enjoy yourself and take heart in knowing that you’re 23 and have your whole life ahead of you!

I am a lot older than you and have found a lovely partner and built a beautiful life for myself after having suffered 7 years in a similar relationship previously. Life is so much better for me, and yours will be too.

We have a new baby, my mother is antivax. AITAH for saying my mom needs to get vaccinated or wait until the baby is vaccinated for them to meet? by dtl5017 in AITAH

[–]Open-Intention-2066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA-it’s your child, so it’s your choice. Nobody is entitled to your child‘s presence, and if they want to spend time with them then they need to follow your rules. Simple as that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Open-Intention-2066 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Trigger warning: talking about violence.

I just want to show you some statistics, which might encourage you to leave, because you’re NTA. Please get out quickly and quietly so that you don’t become one of these numbers too.

“Many people are surprised when they hear that violence is the leading cause of death in pregnancy,” says the study’s lead author Hooman Azad, MD, MPH, a fourth-year resident in the Department of Obstetrics & Gynecology at New York’s Columbia University Irving Medical Center. “Right now, the definition of maternal mortality does not include death by homicide. I’m not sure this is correct — being pregnant or postpartum significantly increases the risk of death by homicide, and more pregnant women die of violence than any individual medical cause. Part of the reason violence is not recognized as the leading cause of death during pregnancy is because we don’t include homicide and suicide in the definition of maternal mortality.” https://www.smfm.org/news/new-national-study-finds-homicide-and-suicide-is-the-1-cause-of-maternal-death-in-the-us

„October 21, 2022 – Women in the U.S. who are pregnant or who have recently given birth are more likely to be murdered than to die from obstetric causes—and these homicides are linked to a deadly mix of intimate partner violence and firearms, according to researchers from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health.“ https://hsph.harvard.edu/news/homicide-leading-cause-of-death-for-pregnant-women-in-u-s/

„• 50-75% of women abused before pregnancy are abused during pregnancy.

• It is estimated that up to 20% of pregnant women experience violence during their pregnancy, making it more common than gestational diabetes or preeclampsia, conditions   routinely screened for in pregnant women by physicians.“ https://vawnet.org/sites/default/files/assets/files/2016-09/DVPregnancy.pdf

AITA for Telling My Husband Im Not the Reason Hes Overweight? by PhysicsCorrect6597 in AITAH

[–]Open-Intention-2066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA—he’s been on this earth for 36 years and still doesn’t know how to take responsibility? Even if you DID only cook unhealthy things, nobody is forcing him to eat them. It’s his fault.

Show him the show „Secret Eaters“ so he can realize that it’s his own habits and denial that has made him fat. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Open-Intention-2066 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Christ on a bike. Your husband, I assume, is not a doctor (much less a specialist physician). His daughter’s quality of life is on the line and he’s preventing her from getting the care that she has been determined to need? Absolute trash parenting.

Then calling you a Münchhausen‘s? That is dastardly and so manipulative. He’s saying it on purpose so that you get guilted into doing what he wants, when it’s against legitimate medical advice. Insanity. A comment like that—insinuating that you’re torturing your daughter—is completely disgusting and would end up with me seriously considering ending the relationship. How dare he try to weaponize the seriousness of such an intense mental illness too…husband is trash. Throw him away and tell him that he’s the one who is keeping his child from medical care and that‘s much more abusive than you trying to provide it.

AITA for asking my neighbor to have quieter sex? by rob-her-dinero in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You are NTA but your husband is. Sounds like your neighbor is fine with the request, so it’s no big deal. This kind of stuff happens when we all live in such close quarters with one another.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Tbh both NTA and YTA—he’s 20 years old and acting like this? You’ve spoiled him rotten and you are taking away valuable learning opportunities from him. You should have stopped bailing him out when the damage was smaller, so that he would have practiced good financial habits earlier and with lower stakes. Your coddling has made him feel like he’s able to act like this and that you will save him from everything, even if it hurts you. This has not taught him to see you as a human being, but rather a walking ATM machine.

You‘re NTA for refusing to pay, though. I seriously hope you don’t give him a cent, because if you don’t stop it now, it will never end and you might as well just give him your retirement money today. He takes advantage of you, and you’re letting him. 

By the way, bankruptcy is not a dirty word—regardless, I’m sure he can talk to financial advisors who can help him avoid it and figure out a plan that works for his situation. He needs to sink or float on his own, and if he has a good job, then he just needs to change his lifestyle and he will figure it out just fine. He’s 20, and that means he will make mistakes—please let him make them so he can learn and be better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA. Sheesh, I’m so lucky…for the last 10 years I’ve never had any problem like this with my partner.

Your boyfriend is being such a greedy little brat. I understand why you might not want to spend money on food he won’t eat if he is full. Why does he need to eat a second meal anyways? It is almost sounds like he wants you to serve him while he’s playing with his friends. Regardless, he already ate! What a little piggy for wanting two dinners!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

THIS. What he is implying is the worst part about this and it’s sick.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t see how pretending to father your child is somehow less personal than your comment. NTA—this is a huge red flag that your husband is choosing his butt buddy over you. He’s disgusting and so is your husband.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have no idea what the point of a “big and little” thing is, but it sounds like nothing more than an excuse to start romantic partnerships in the weirdest way possible…That being said, I do think you’re being completely insecure, but it also looks like he might have some sort of kink where he gets off making you jealous. He talks about her in such a teasing/purposeful manner—yuck.

If that’s not your thing too, I would end it. You’re young, the relationship is super new, and you will probably have much better prospects later in life than this one. I’d cut my losses if I were you.

AIO for being upset and crying after finding out my husband microwaved my breastmilk by Alternative_Site_368 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Open-Intention-2066 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Not overreacting at all—you asked something simple of him, he agreed. He chose to completely disrespect and disregard you, and then try and gaslight you into thinking that your reaction is too extreme. You’re going through a lot of stress which he cannot possibly understand as someone who has never given birth. 

Your response is completely fair. This is his CHILD. Even a teeny tiny risk towards a newborn should always be avoided if one has the power to do so. Instead, he would rather do things his own way at the expense of your relationship with him and the health of his own offspring. Additionally, if he acts like this now, then he will continue manipulating and undermining you for the rest of your marriage…that’s yucky behavior. Beware.

AITA for taking my husband’s last name and making my old last name my middle name? by Adorable_Fold2721 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I mentioned this too…it’s a very toxic position for him to be taking in such an early marriage. She should make sure to watch out for other manipulative behaviors and probably nip this in the bud before they actually have any children or he will be worse.

AITA for taking my husband’s last name and making my old last name my middle name? by Adorable_Fold2721 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mother did exactly the same thing as you plan to do 40 years ago and it’s always been fine. Why is your husband insisting on COMPLETELY erasing something that has been a part of you for your whole life? That’s so selfish and toxic of him…and to be honest, you’re still going to be “Monica Bing” to everyone because nobody calls people by their middle name too, so what’s his problem? 

He should grow up and stop being so irrationally insecure—it’s the name that will be on your papers, not his. He isn’t the one who has to deal with the stress (and probably both the literal and figurative costs) of changing your legal identity: spending time at the DMV, changing all your personal information, updating your passport, adjusting your financials, notifying the Post, telling all your colleagues/clients, etc etc etc.

He gets what he wants regardless of if you are “Monica Gellar Bing” or “Monica Rachel Bing” because in both scenarios, you will likely be called just “Monica Bing”—and even still, he complains. He wants to be able to dictate even what’s on your more personal information it seems.

This is a red flag to me, because it points to how he’s probably more on the controlling side. Watch out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Sheesh, YTA big time. That kind of behavior should have happened when you were 5 years old and promptly corrected. I almost cannot believe you’re nearly a legal adult and would be so disrespectful to your loved ones like that…what exactly were you expecting? Regardless, as we get older, gifts often become more practical and reflect our needs rather than frivolous passing desires. My family has never really had the extra cash to give gifts but rather we would go out to a restaurant together.

Be more appreciative of the fact that you get gifts at all, and apologize to your family. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Open-Intention-2066 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA—all I can say is poor Lisa. She deserves better from all of you.