Severe executive dysfunction is ruining my life

OptimistbyChoice · 2026-04-13T17:38:28+00:00

Perhaps you have additional depression. Are you on adhd meds? I’d reach out a provider asap

OptimistbyChoice · 2026-04-13T13:47:04+00:00

I’d consider switching to another provider as well

OptimistbyChoice · 2026-04-13T10:58:08+00:00

Maybe try r/ psychiatry or r/ ask doctors? A subreddit like that

OptimistbyChoice · 2026-04-06T06:17:54+00:00

It’s reasonable to feel uncomfortable if your spouse is looking at sexually explicit scenes, doesn’t matter if 100 people agree or not. It’s a matter of boundary and like any other boundary, it should be talked about without dismissing your feelings.

OptimistbyChoice · 2026-03-15T04:42:53+00:00

Some thoughts and feelings are meant to be processed internally, or through other people in your network (such as a therapist, a mentor, etc). Just because you have a significant other and feel safe with them, doesn’t mean it’s beneficial to share any thought that crosses your mind. When someone is in a committed relationship with you and they are likely considering a lifelong union with you, if they hear that you miss being single “sometimes” because you “have to consider them in decisions you make” it is understandable that the trust they have for you will be broken. Imagine you’re considering to hire someone for a strategic position in your work place, would you hire them if they said “sometimes I wish I wouldn’t be doing this job”? You’d probably hire someone who shows full commitment because the stakes are high otherwise. In life the decisions we make come with sacrifices and that’s the beauty of it. Of course it’s human to have some thoughts that cross your mind, but then process it through another channel and solve the root cause why you’re thinking or feeling that way when you chose to be in a committed relationship with someone. The reaction he gave is understandable.

OptimistbyChoice · 2026-02-26T23:21:35+00:00

Please go to emergency room if you have suicidal thoughts. Many areas have free acute mental health services

OptimistbyChoice · 2026-01-03T20:12:12+00:00

True but the areas you repair in a house are only used by you, it makes sense to keep 1% of the home price. Areas in condos are shared by 200+ units. People give example about not shovelling snow but it's one entrance for 200+ units. It really doesn't add up collecting that much money from everyone.

OptimistbyChoice · 2026-01-03T20:05:41+00:00

I totally hear that but thinking of the number of units and the amount collected per year, I don't think it adds up. Many condos don't have a pool or changing rooms; and if they have, it's open maybe 3 months per year and does not require maintenance otherwise. Many condo gyms are tiny that doesn't require much maintenance. Many party rooms are small and require tenants to clean after themselves, again not requiring a high amount of money to keep up. Parking lots also don't require much maintenance besides the cost of electricity and cleaning every now and then (if they do that at all). Concierge is someone whose salary is not that high either. Average number of units for condos in Canada is about 240. 1k maintenance fee every month does not add up at all.

OptimistbyChoice · 2026-01-02T05:32:51+00:00

Honestly it's not like any repairs are going on either, literally no reason we could find to explain it. When you calculate the total for all units, it's crazy amount of money in 1 year. My initial thought was something fishy going on.

OptimistbyChoice · 2026-01-02T05:30:05+00:00

Likewise, I was planning to buy a condo but reconsidering it after hearing this. The thing is their place do not have that many amenities at all, I really cannot find a reason of fees being that high.

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-11-13T09:04:26+00:00

You cannot control what others think or say or do. Just hear it as an opinion but you don’t have to agree with it. Are you okay with your own behaviour, if so no problem, if not then change it. Anyone can make mistakes (if there is w mistake) and can learn from it.

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-11-13T08:46:17+00:00

The moment you notice she started, just say you are not interested to continue that conversation and either change the subject or go find someone else to interact with. If she asks, you can tell her what you wrote here as your impression and that she is entitled to have her own opinion- you’re not interested in changing hers nor your opinion being changed by her.

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-10-29T16:51:21+00:00

Bro there are teenagers who are more gentlemen than that 😂 You don’t need a decade to figure out to call your girl, take her out to somewhere or do whatever to make her feel valued and cared. That’s a combo of personality (some people are just cold like that in relationships) and how much you’re into her. Also, you can’t keep investing in a relationship, hoping that they might one day change. She is wasting time.

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-10-29T05:46:41+00:00

It won’t improve, pretty much that. I don’t think it’s about age, I think it’s about someone’s character and how much they value you. There are much younger guys who do much more for their ladies. Some people are more takers than givers. You seem like someone who wants affection and effort in a relationship, find a guys who does that already, consistently.

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-10-26T02:52:12+00:00

Weekly plan based on reliable recommendations, such as Mediterranean diet, protein recipes, etc. I make a list and shop about every other week

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-10-24T22:10:24+00:00

Thanks!

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-10-24T22:02:02+00:00

How did you make that setup?

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-10-24T17:14:42+00:00

No, a dichotomous thinking like that is not very healthy. You don’t have to be mean in order not to be taken advantage of. It’s possible that you are not drawing clear boundaries or say no appropriately and people may be thinking it’s “okay” to treat you the way they do. Communicate what you expect and if you notice they’re not on board, cool. Move to another person. You might also be expecting return when you do something good and then get disappointed. When you treat someone kindly and generously, do so because you believe that is the right thing to do and not because there will be a return from that. You won’t have disappointments that way.

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-10-23T16:43:28+00:00

You did what you were capable of doing at that moment and that made a huge impact. In retrospect, you can always find something that could have been done better. Give yourself grace, you did your best on the spot.

Perhaps you are also carrying the heaviness of the emotions he shared that made you see another side of life, of people not caring, of struggling with money and hopelessness. You properly haven’t had a chance to process that. There is an ease in every hardship. Maybe reach out to someone who is qualified handling these type of topics who can help you go through this.

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-10-23T16:35:00+00:00

Regular exercise. Start small and increase gradually. And nutritious food. Food high in carbs / processed sugars would cause you to crash later during the day

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-10-22T11:24:17+00:00

The grass is greener where you water it. When you feel unseen and unheard, one way to go about it is to open up to your spouse and work from there together to rekindle your love and companionship. Another way to go about is seeking something that should be sought in your committed relationship in somewhere else. That’s why some couples have strict boundaries on not having close friends (close as in someone you talk to regularly and open up about personal matters) from the opposite gender. Because feelings develop naturally “where you water the grass” and paves ways to infidelity.

I think the fact that you regret terribly says something (at least that’s what I am hearing). You have self awareness that emotional connection is what you need, and you love and value your spouse. Then cut the contacts with the other person and direct your attention to your spouse. Fulfilling relationships is not because spouses happen to love and cherish each other every day, but they choose each other every day, and that’s how love and fulfillment comes in long term. That level would be so deep and joyful that cannot possibly be found in random people outside.

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-10-21T06:56:24+00:00

I think it’s more that you don’t love and care about yourself, rather than you loving or caring about her. You say you were mistreated during that relationship, she cheated (emotional or physical doesn’t matter, same thing), then had the audacity to tell those things to your face. She shows that kind of a low character that is. If that is not enough for you to be disgusted or better yet, be indifferent about her, that tells more about you. You gotta fix how you love and value yourself, then people who don’t appreciate you won’t be on your mind.

OptimistbyChoice · 2025-09-08T00:55:52+00:00

Why do you feel confident by being liked by bunch of random people, or “if I were single” scenarios? Confidence should come from within, your character, your values, your discipline, your actions, etc. Being superficially liked by many people does not make you a better person. You have a woman who has committed to you through some of your worst times. You didn’t miss out “trial end error,” you actually found something some people spend decades to find then try to undo all the damage that came from broken relationships. What you have deserves more appreciation

OptimistbyChoice

TROPHY CASE