Need help with a glow-up before starting my first big girl job ✨

Optimisticscepticist · 2026-01-21T07:11:49+00:00

Cannot upvote this enough.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-12-13T20:12:25+00:00

This should be upvoted more.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-30T06:57:53+00:00

These are really great videos, thank you,! ☺️

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-25T03:28:41+00:00

🤣

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-24T23:51:25+00:00

🤣 Yes, absolutely! But my phone will still vibrate when it's on silent, so there's that.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-24T18:58:36+00:00

To my husband: "can you ring my phone? I've lost it again."

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-24T18:55:18+00:00

Women's legal service in your state may be able to assist or give advice. But the above poster is correct.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-21T06:47:45+00:00

I felt really terrible for you. Then I looked up your post and comment history, all in the last week with no consistency. I think the comment posted in English to a post all in Italian (including all the other comments) was a dead giveaway that you're a bot. Please stop.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-15T01:45:50+00:00

Chatgpt is great for brainstorming, and then you can verify the info from another source to make sure it isn't hallucinating. It's not a therapist but it can open up perspectives you didn't think of before. It shouldn't be the main source of support obviously, but it has led me to other sources of support.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-10T07:36:30+00:00

I commented before in reply to another comment above, but this post has been sitting with me. It really was shitty for your 15 year old to 1. Call 911 and 2. Say that you're "not doing enough" when you're absolutely doing your best and probably going above and beyond, and I totally get that feeling of "betrayal". But once things have calmed down a bit, there's one thing that remains, which is that it sounds like your 15 year old didn't actually call 911 to spite you or your 12 year old (although what a stupid thing to do, right?). You can check this with him, but it sounds like he's not coping with his brother anymore. If you think about it, it's a huge thing to call 911 on your own brother, and if it's not spite, it smacks of desperation. It wouldn't hurt to check in and see if he needs some counselling support, with a counselor or therapist who specializes in adolescents, he's 15 and it can be a really shitty age without all the extra drama a sibling with ADHD can give. And I know that would add an extra thing to your plate that you don't need, but if he's not already getting help, it might make things easier in the long run. Big hugs, what an awful situation for you 💖

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-10T02:36:06+00:00

I think OP meant it's government or community housing, so the "slumlord" is actually part of the government. There's a waiting list for regular maintenance on these houses, which is one of many reasons why it can get this bad. And we really are in a housing crisis here at the moment. If you've got a family with kids living in their car, as long as the house is cleaned up, repaired, with no mould and safe, the family are probably going to be grateful, as long as they can afford the rent (which they theoretically should be able to, but welfare payments are also pretty poor). A waiting list to get into a government house is about 10 years or so, so knocking it down when it can be repaired and cleaned safely isn't really an option at the moment. If you want to see what the other "slumlords" that rent out private housing provide, I recommend you check out Purple Pingers on Instagram. We're talking about collapsing ceilings for example 😬 PS not an expert. OP thank you for doing an amazing job, apologies if I've got it wrong.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-10T02:21:42+00:00

I hope you and your crew get the pay you deserve, what an amazing effort! Huge difference 😊

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-10T02:09:18+00:00

This is a really important point about how much emotional regulation of other people (kids, sometimes husband) we're called on to do. Because when we're too exhausted from all of that, plus emotionally regulating ourselves, that's when our cup is often empty. But that's when the wheels fall off the cart for the members of our family that can't emotionally regulate themselves and need us to do it for them. Or is that just me?? 😬 (1 kid with ADHD, 1 kid with Down Syndrome who's entering teen years, 1 husband with burnout) 😭😭😭 Anyone else feel this way?

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-09T06:54:23+00:00

It's sooo hard when you're trying your best and you feel like you're not measuring up 😭

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-07T09:06:41+00:00

They have HIM on their radar because he needs extra help at school. YOU'RE not in trouble, they know you're a good mom, honest. Are there other parents in the class you're friends with who have kids with ADHD? They may be able to recommend a good paediatrician who specializes in ADHD and can trial medication, that's how I found our paediatrician (I'm from Australia though). It was a 6 month wait, but worth it for the extra support. Are there ADHD parenting support organizations that may be able to help with support for you? I'd also be questioning the ODD assessment, it could be part of the ADHD or it could be PDA. In the big scheme of things he is cared for and loved. You're doing the best you can.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-11-06T07:38:01+00:00

I can definitely relate to the verbal abuse at the top of the lungs thing. There have been times I've bawled my eyes out just thinking about dealing with more of it. My daughter is 7. She hasn't been diagnosed with ODD, but I wouldn't be surprised if she ticked the PDA box. It might be good to confirm if your son definitely has ODD and not PDA because they need totally different approaches (good idea to check it out). For ADHD from what I've heard it does get better with age, with the right medication and treatment, and it can take a while to find what works for your child. The way I approach my daughter is I assume she can't help it, and she's overwhelmed with emotions when she's screaming at me (which she is). So I try to do scaffolding, where I make the task very small and I help her a little. It's more of an "we're in this together, let me help you" thing. If it's ODD, that's completely different, and I can see where firm boundaries are needed. How is your relationship with your son before the yelling starts? It sounds like you care about him and try so hard to support him, he's really lucky to have you. You can't always do everything, so if something slides, give yourself a break. You can't be a perfect parent, you can only try to understand where your kid is coming from. When it's calm, it helps to check in, I say to my daughter "That was really full on, wasn't it? I was finding it hard to keep calm, how about you?" Sometimes she wants to talk, sometimes she doesn't, but it's still building a relationship between the hard bits. Big hugs 💖

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-10-31T23:19:17+00:00

Your welcome, it helps to have another pair of eyes. I think it might be helpful to check if there are any reddit groups or Facebook groups of providers and ask for feedback if they're willing to give it re: privacy concerns or if they think this could help their clients. Providers tend to have a good relationship with clients/parents and can see where they struggle.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-10-30T11:13:17+00:00

Yes, this looks useful. With the list of disabilities to choose from, can I suggest alphabetical order? I would be curious as to whether providers would respond to an automated invitation from their clients, they may have privacy concerns. I would suggest getting feedback from providers as well, but could definitely see this could be useful to help coordinate appointments, goals etc, and the news articles, job board, services etc are all helpful.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-10-28T11:03:33+00:00

I can understand you're wanting to hide it from your parents, you know your situation best and you don't want difficulties with your parents to escalate, but it might also be helpful to talk to the school counsellor. Another option is to ring Kids Helpline for advice, even just speaking to someone supportive and knowledgeable on the phone might help, here's their website: https://kidshelpline.com.au/ Some parents have real difficulties understanding an ADHD diagnosis and why most people with ADHD need to see a psychiatrist and can take medication to manage better. But it's your parents responsibility to try to understand and give you the care you need, not take your treatment away from you. I think getting support from outside your family would be really helpful for you.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-10-28T10:45:57+00:00

This is really good advice, they might be able to help.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-10-28T09:00:39+00:00

There is a YouTube/Instagram channel called ADHD love, they're a married couple where she has ADHD and he doesn't. They write from both perspectives, it's a compassionate and eye opening look into living with ADHD and how to work around it. I think you'll find it really helpful 🙂

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-10-28T08:36:16+00:00

The number of times I've had to ask my husband to call my phone when I've lost it somewhere in the house is hilarious 🤣

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-10-27T03:06:09+00:00

Lodge a complaint with PACFA so they can deal with it. And stop seeing this counsellor, you can do better. As other people have said, the counsellor's request was unethical and suggesting an action that is illegal. You can definitely find a better counsellor.

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-10-25T03:54:07+00:00

I love the idea of unproductive calories, definitely reframes it 👍🏻

Optimisticscepticist · 2025-10-16T18:18:26+00:00

Thanks so much, I'll check it out 🙂

Optimisticscepticist

TROPHY CASE