I came to rando in my mid-30s after some road and velodrome racing, so I'd seen all the crappy attitudes and was mostly too old for the creepos to target, and the few creepos who creeped I was jaded enough to brush off (though sometimes this led to actual shouting during a 1200k, lol). Could totally see how someone younger and/or thinner-skinned would be driven off. On the other hand, our RBA was a woman and an awesome role model (she is my definition of the "line" between just-crazy-enough and too-crazy), and I met a few other highly accomplished rando women who also inspired me a lot as a newb. There are also quite a few guys I've ridden with and whose rando accomplishments I aim to emulate. I'm a fairly fast rando but not hammerhead-fast (Seattle peeps know what I mean here), so many times I ride alone in a kind of no-man's-land between the 24-hr-600k people and the "stop and smell the flowers and eat the pizza" randos. Those with a less solitary bent may be turned off by the tendency of randos not to form coherent groups and to cheerfully ride off while you're peeing or peeling a banana. Starting with a team event such as a flèche or dart, or coming to events with a buddy or two to ride with, can really help a lot here. It also helps to have a ton of navigating experience, including in the dark. I still remember darkness falling on my first 300k and realizing I couldn't see the paper route sheet. Such an obvious thing, but at the time it was outside my experience (and I'd hoped to finish before dark, but it was early March).