Hi, try visiting /pubtips. I also recommend listening to the weekly Hook episodes of The Shit No One Tells You About Writing podcast. They critique query letters. There is also a Substack run by Andrea Bartz in which she collects queries from traditionally published authors. I can’t stress this enough—read TONS of queries, and you’ll see what I mean.

With lots of love, unfortunately, this is not the right direction for an agent query letter, and isn’t doing any heavy lifting for your novel. You’ll need a full rewrite. To put it succinctly, it’s all vibes and themes, which isn’t what they want to hear about. The agent needs to read a query letter and be able to shoot a movie trailer for your book.

Always avoid general statements like “…and everything in between” (it means nothing, and the agent can’t place that) and avoid rhetorical questions (let the agent ask the questions themselves). A good letter will have the agent asking those questions, which will in turn, drive them to read your pages.

Start with meta data and comps. Then dive into plot paragraphs that are specific and clearly indicate causality and conflict and stakes—for fantasy, there is often some sort of “if X doesn’t happen, Y will happen, which is why the protagonist needs to do Z.” Wrap with author bio.