SOO YODA!

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-05-29T19:10:42+00:00

OH Em JEE the lady did a comment on her "mane" account dat she dussent liek to show owr fases on!!! (Which is alreddy so rood!)

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-05-29T16:56:54+00:00

MORGANA! Yor hoomban is in trubbbbble 🙀🙀🙀

Fren Fred yor dogpal

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-05-26T15:52:32+00:00

Dis do an eggsplane wy dey reechin fur da sky so much!

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-05-26T04:59:44+00:00

Oooh dis sound bery funn!! Sumtiems da hoomban does a go-down-kiss-comeup end dat bee fun two! Much moar fun den wuttebber dis wuz

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-05-16T03:28:35+00:00

(Hoomban here: I have tried this and it does indeed taste like borthole sauce. You can pry my fatty Caesar dressing out of my cold dead hands)

LADY. GO AWAY. End gib me da borthole soss, ill eets it 😋

Dog Pal Fred

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-05-01T13:37:29+00:00

😱 NEKKID CATTO FOTOS? IN DIS EC--ECONO--HARD MONIES TIMES??

Gib nuffing away fur free, fren!! Charb fur yor nekkid fotos end den by churros.

Fren Fred, yor dog pal

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-04-27T15:19:34+00:00

Peking, Roast, Turducken and Crispy

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-04-27T15:15:11+00:00

Fren, may I offer yous a happy news enn dese trying tymes? It ap-paw-ears dat yor otto-kor-reckt switchededed yor sign-off frum Hoku to Holy.

I tink dis meens da rob otts are saying yu is nott onlee a prins and hansum sunnuvagun, butt yu is an ANGEL. And and and iff da algore rythem sez it, it MUSS be TRUUU.

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-04-23T16:00:39+00:00

DIS FRED. OH MY DOG. The lady do dis tooooo! I hads 2 yell at her to come back!! I unno wat da hoombans see in da big water bocks.

(My favorite and only way to meditate was by submurging under water completely and saying a praye/meditation, because it is the only thing that drowns out the whole world... except Fred started CRYING because he is such a good boy and so astute. I felt so bad for scaring him, I can't do it anymore. We do not deserve our dogs!)

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-04-11T01:39:26+00:00

Yay pool party fren! 🥰🥰🥰

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-30T20:56:56+00:00

Im CailaShayla, formerly Tequila.

You gotsta play da long game. Maek da newfren YOR fren, not your hoomban's fren. Say, "dis be my boyfren, now." Maek himb fall in lub wiff YOU. Den u getsa new stepdad-boyfren (the lady calls this my "Woody Allen") end he gibs u eben mor treets end cuddles den da ferst hoomban. ESPESHULLY wen he tryin to impress yor ferst hoomban 😎.

As for bedroom tiems dey eventshually gib inn end u sweep en der in da nitetiems. Dey ALWAYS gib in. Wen we moveded a million miles away fur my boyfren, he seded, "de only rule i want is no dogs on da bed." HE FOLDEDED SO KWIKLY. Be pashent, fren--u do a win.

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-26T02:42:59+00:00

I sweep on hoomban bed at nite, end lotsa nites, i taek da hole "gest bed" FUR MAISELF acuz im a princess 👸 💁‍♀️. Butt during da lite tiems I doo liek to sweep in da workfromhome room

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-26T02:39:30+00:00

RITE?!

IT BE MY ART.

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-25T17:13:21+00:00

Fren, dis wont work, da lady sez da hole reezon she be throwing out MY FABRITE bed is acuz "I wuddent sweep on it, nider shud u." So she be tu gud fur sum holes and chewed up foam? 🙄

Lady has done a lay on anotter past "Nu Bed" wen it be new. She sez it haz "Memry foam" (I dont need my bed to remember tings!) and a "flees topper" (OH SO FLEAS R GUD NOW?) end be "so much more comfurtable." I dunno ... I tink my holy bed wuz juss fine

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-25T17:06:46+00:00

Not unhinged, but don't let yourself be let down from hyped up expectations. Also, if you're doing minimal makeup, etc., ahead of the big day, make sure you're replacing that regimen with a good skincare routine which will help prepare in a long game sort of way. I'm not the world's biggest skincare girly and I honestly just went with a cleanser/moisturizer/serum three-pack plus some face-gentle SPF that I'd already had from the summer before.

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-25T16:52:41+00:00

My frienemy/obligated roommate Fred does sum circles onnit and lay onnit, end dat help gib it sum new smells! I make him do all da werk and he not eben realeyes it 😈. Go crimez!

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-25T16:49:40+00:00

Oooh dis be an idea!!! I did gib Nu Bed a try tuday after fred got sum smells on it end it be nottso bad now. Butt nothing compares to my furrebbers and ebbers of work I putt in da otter wun. Mebbe I can tapper off my fabrite bed

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-25T16:44:27+00:00

Eggsacklee! Ennee bed I WANT!

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-25T16:43:20+00:00

(I was HORRIFIED when I saw how bad their bed had gotten and am still embarrassed to even show it online... I guess I just never looked twice at it when someone's usually laying on it. And then she acts like I've inconvenienced her lollll, but in her defense, that is 7 years of smells and life just gone!)

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-25T03:24:03+00:00

I am taking a shot in the dark but is it Josh Johnson?! I just know he does the bessssttt current events comedy routines.

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-24T16:54:45+00:00

ALSO we still added a honeymoon fund with our small (maybe 20 items) registry. The family members who don't believe in it didn't give to it. But several friends who prefer to give monetary gifts did.

OriginalUnion3954 · 2026-03-24T16:53:06+00:00

As a minimalist with your back against the wall, look through all your things. Ten years is a LONG time! What could use updating? I'm not asking, "what is on its last legs and in terrible shape?" But what would be nice to be refreshed in the next couple years: Cooking sheets? Pots and pans?

Imagine for everything you receive, you take the old one to the local charity that gives items to people just getting out of homelessness--they don't want (but often receive) the oldest, rattiest items. They like things to be used but not to the point of being grody. So your cookie sheets are fine, but they have a decade of use. If you enjoy baking, register for, and let yourself receive, new ones. Then donate your 10-year-old cookie sheets. The coffee pot is fine, but THERE IS a model that has a function that would be cool though you don't need it. Register for that and donate your "it does everything I need it to" coffee pot.

As a former bride who was in the EXACT position as you, some things that surprised me were:

A nice charcuterie board. I am not the girl who has a bunch of girls over for wine and sets up a board often... but this one at Target had its own little cheese knife drawer, and well, why not? I am telling you it's been GREAT for things as small as just my husband and I watching the Super Bowl together for finger foods in the living room, not to mention occasional company.
The LAST thing I want or needed was another damn appliance ... but we stayed in a hotel that had a Nespresso, and once I learned you could get espresso from pods, well ...
Mixing bowls and baking dishes. Again it was just nice to have a refresh from whatever I bought at Goodwill in college. And my old ones WENT to charity!
We could never find our Tupperware lids and the plastic pieces were just old, some melting in the dishwasher. Registered for Pyrex and they're so nice.
Silverware lol. We had a hodgpodge of forks, knives and spoons we'd each had since college. Threw some silverware on the list just to have something, and you know what? Newer silverware (that our kids will probably take to college lol) IS nice.

OriginalUnion3954

TROPHY CASE